What's a responsible amount to receive for caring for my father?

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If caregiving is going to force you to quit a very necessary job for economic survival, it is time to look into assisted living advice.
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What Jeanne wrote about asking the questions we've seen on the group before is true. If we didn't answer questions that were asked before, we wouldn't answer anything. There is very little that has not been discussed before. When I see the same question I know that a person needs to be heard. I know that I did (and still do).
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An acquaintance of mine lives at home and has around the clock care givers. It costs her $11,000 per month, in AZ. She isn't hard to take care of, she just needs someone with her "in case." There are no children.
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geedeeooo, I don't know that there is a good tutorial for using these forums. Most of us learn by trial and error. Those who have used other forums probably pick it up faster, but we all go through a learning curve.

To search for a topic, go to the "search site" box at the top right of the page (with a magnifying glass next to it.) Type in the topic you are interested in and click the magnifier. In this case you might type "compensation for caring for parents." or "parents paying for care" or anything similar. You will get a list of posts that seem to match that topic. You can select only articles (by experts), only questions, only discussions, or look at the entire list. As you scan through it you will probably see that many of the items aren't exactly what you wanted. That's OK. Just like on the ones that seem most interesting.

If you don't get as many items as you would expect, try rewording your search. Keep the topic you type short but with enough words to narrow it down to your interest. "Caregiving" is way too broad! "caregiving bipolar parent" is better.

Since it is very common for similar questions to be asked over and over, seeing previous questions and answers may be helpful and may also help you decide how to present your own questions.

It is OK to ask the same questions others have asked. The population on these boards is always changing and you may get different perspectives now. Your situation may be slightly different and you can explain that in your question. Maybe after you read some of the earlier questions and answers you won't need to ask the same question again but it will move you down the road a bit and you'll want to ask another related question.

Searching is good and helpful. Don't feel you are using the forums incorrectly if you don't always do a search before you post. Do it if it seems beneficial. That's what this site is all about -- helping each other.
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I strongly believe that family caregiver should be paid. It helps dignify an often thankless task. It is a fair and legal way for the care recipient to spend down assets/income in case Medicaid is needed in the future. It helps even out the division of the estate if some siblings help and others do not. And it gives the care recipient the dignity of paying their own way.

How much? List all the things you do. Do you manage medicines? Prepare meals? Provide transportation? Does your father need 24/7 supervision? Do you help with showers, dressing, hygiene? Make a list as complete as you can, then see what it would cost to pay the going rate in your location? iwentanon says the rate in her area is $15/hour. Holy cow! That is a real bargain compared to here! You don't have to get an exact amount, but try to find out a ballpark estimate.

Should you charge that much? Perhaps, if your father can truly afford it. Many people would charge less to their parents, because their parents can't afford the local going rate.

Whatever you charge, draw up an agreement specifying what you are providing and what you are charging. Pay income tax on the income. It might be worthwhile having an attorney who specializes in Elder Law help you with this, especially if there are other family members who might try to dispute this and/or if Medicaid may be needed someday.

If you are not doing the caregiving in love, no amount of money is worth the sacrifices you will be making. If you are doing this because you love your father and you feel this is what will be in his best interests, then you should be compensated as well as your father can afford it.
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50's child, I am 61 years old and a woman. My father's name was Charles. I had 2 suicides in my family, 2 of my father's brothers killed themselves. I take medication for anxiety and depression and that started years ago long before my dad was with me. My mother died 5 years ago. My husband and I have been married for 5 years. We have long term health care insurance so we will be taken care of and not a burden on anyone.
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I'm still trying to figure out everything about this website (which I love so far). Assandache said, "Use the search at top of the page. Many have asked this question". Exactly where do I look to find what he/she means? Is it just put the question in the search box or are they saying to look under one of the tabs, like "Money and Legal"? BTW is there a set of instructions on here somewhere that explains how everything works because I can think of some other questions too! Thanks
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I, and many others here, started off caregiving to try and keep someone out of a nursing home. As time went by, we cut back working to part time because the demands grow worse as a caregiver. Then maybe you are forced to move in to save money and time. Then you had to stop working totally to be home 24/7. I was paid for 37 hours of work a month, even though I was required to be home all the time.

Most people need to work to support themselves, and caregiving will force you out of a job sooner or later. If you think caregiving for free is what you want to do, great! If I need to be paid to take care of someone because I am not wealthy , there is nothing wrong with that either.
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Charles, you are exactly what we all aspire to, and why we all feel guilty. Somehow, it isn't this easy for others. May I ask, are you married? Children? Is your father a dear man who loves you and in his eyes, you know it every moment? Your father cared for you 18 years, that means you are very young. Is he a lot older or perhaps a younger-old? I want to surmise that your father still puts you first in his heart, as you do him. You are blessed among caregivers. Can you appreciate that your answer is a very black-and-white answer that has caused others, whose complex existence you cannot know, to tear their hair out tonight? It SHOULD be that simple, but it isn't. I feel guilty because I cannot do what you do. I have no children. However, I do have a lot of mental illness in my family. Did you ever have multiple suicides in your family? My father is a WWII Nuclear Occupation vet, a very cool and happy man for whom I pay over $40K/year to keep my marriage happy. Were I to move in with him, or move him with me, it would kill my marriage (my husband is 82 with his own problems). Can you get that the blessing you have with caring for your father, is a rare blessing. I cared for my mother in law in the manner you described from her age 90 to 100. Now my Dad needs that kind of care. How do you think I feel when my husband does too? How about people in their 40s still raising kids? How about people in their 50s who lost their 401Ks, live 2000 miles away. Please have some sensitivity. You are definitely a good son, we all envy you. Please understand that others are bleeding worse than you.
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My father lived with me and yes 24/7. Fed him bathed him, crushed his meds. Held him at night, because he was my father and I loved him!!!!
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