Response to a friend who claims she would never put her mom in a “home.” Any advice?

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Response to a friend who claims she would never put her mom in a “home.” Any advice?

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I would respond to this by telling such a friend,

Never say never.

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"I used to think that exact same thing. But after living through the reality and the stress, I've had to find a different solution that protects my marriage and family so that we didn't all burn out. AL doesn't mean I don't love my Mother. I've learned to never say never."

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"I hope that works for you when the time comes".

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Love it!

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Tell her you want your mom to receive the best care possible. Because you have responsibilities in addition to responsibility to mom assisted living is the best choice to get mom the help and care she deserves.

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How about, "You're in a very different situation than I am. I have a husband and a child, and they're my first priority. I can't hand over my life to my mom's care without breaking my marriage vows and cutting myself off from my child and future grandchildren. But you're lucky. You can devote yourself only to your mom if you choose to. And unless you've walked in these shoes, you can't really know how hard it is."

"Shut the f--- up" also works.

Response to a friend who claims she would never put her mom in a “home.” Any advice?

95 Answers

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