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My mom (in her 90's) receives letters from grand-daughter, which describes: trying to save money, everything is so expensive, I do my own family haircuts to save money, kids need new shoes but they are so expensive, we are driving an older car and it needs repairs, school supplies are so expensive, daughter wants to do dance lessons but no money, etc etc etc.
On the one hand, my mom is thrilled to receive a letter from her grand-daughter, but then my mom says to me, "what do you think, should I send her some money?" mom is not dirt-poor, but she really cannot be sending out $50 every month to this one grand-daughter. I've told mom, I think you need to save your money for yourself, and the grand-daughter's husband is very well-employed so why would they need any money?
It seems really coarse that this grand-daughter ALWAYS mentions money in her letters.
However, on her fb, she announced she had finally paid off her mortgage.... which is quite an accomplishment for someone only 40 years old---it does not sound to me like she has any money "troubles".
So my question is, as my mom's poa, should I write a letter to this grand-daughter, and ask her to stop mentioning her money "troubles"?

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freqflyer, omg you could be totally spot on! this young lady has bounced around with all sorts of "jobs" and never staying in any one job for long, I suspect she doesn't have what it takes to be totally responsible. While I sympathise with anyone who is less able to handle a household budget, there is something really "not right" with writing these long letters which are a masked request for funds from Grandma. So sad that she feels a need to do this. And if I am "all wrong" then there is no harm done, I have to put my own mom first, and help her preserve her own funds, for her own use. (p.s. the grandkids already DID get a nice fat check, when they were born, so it's not like she never got 'nuthin.....).
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Ah ha, it could be that grand-daughter's husband had paid off the mortgage.... she probably doesn't know how to budget and had maxed out her credit cards, now she's in a panic. Don't have grandmother enable her.
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If she really wants to "do" something.. have her buy the grands a bond for the money.. to be used for future education. We do this with our grand nephew. His mom is very happy about this and so are we.
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Have your Mom respond with an " I know how hard things are for everyone" letter.. and ask for pictures of the kids. etc. Don't really respond to the money request.. dance around it.
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If you're able to dissuade your mother from sending money to this granddaughter, it seems there would be no need to confront the person about the money talk. And, your intervention may generate negative feelings that could blow up in your (or your mother's face).
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