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As long as we are here on earth, the Good Lord has a purpose for our lives. Just have her ask Him. It might be helping others, praying for others, being a friend, etc. God bless.
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I particularly like MicheleBartlett's suggestion about clipping coupons for military families. Contrary to others who suggest confronting her with the inevitability of failure and uselessness, this woman needs to feel that she is still good for something. She's a human being and deserves to be treated as such.

Can she knit or crochet? Many organizations are looking for helpful hands to make baby blankets, chemo caps, shawls, and so forth. She can also teach those skills to others.

Does she remember what things were like during the Depression? The Foxfire books were written as a collaborative effort between students failing in school and elders. These students took interviews from older folks on how things were done back in the day. If she is articulate enough, perhaps she could make recordings of oral history. The local library or high school may be interested in helping with this.

The point is, she may be able to do any number of things with only a little help staying focused. Thank you for being concerned.
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Could this possibly be post-surgical depression? Perhaps temporary? Has her doctor been consulted? Maybe short-term meds would be appropriate?
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Can she help putting together baskets for abused women/children, knit blankets for babies in the hospital? there are church groups who do these things and would probably love to include her when they get together. My mother likes to stuff bears that a church group nearby her facility makes - cuddly toys for sick children. Did she have any hobbies/ play cards? maybe she could work on an outline of a workshop - develop something - she doesn't need to know it will never be finished and used.....
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My mom says the same thing, AND she is terminally shy, can't start new relationships and so she keeps looking for people to reach out to HER. Maybe your friend could be encouraged to look for people who are hangers-back at some of the activities and start conversations with them for the purpose of "coaching" them with self-empowerment techniques. It matters little whether either one of them can track with the conversation for long; IMO it's about human-to-human interaction, whether or not any successful coaching (as opposed to workshops) actually takes place. She can also ask to start her own activities. We told the activities director at Mom's ALF that she was looking for opportunities to interact, as opposed to being led or where the AD is keeping up a stream of chatter, so she started a "Clip Coupons for Military Families" day (so the residents can visit while they do something PURPOSEFUL, instead of just making kindergarten crafts), and put a Scrabble game on a table in the "living room" to lure Mom out of her apartment. Also, is your friend on an anti-depressant? We were told that 90% of the residents at Mom's ALF are, and it could help. Blessings to you for being such a good, stick-by-her friend!
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I actually think that's part of the dementia process, they have an idea that they should be doing something but not sure what it is. For my Ma who had been oppressed by my Pa, she had no great life to remember .. only that she had to clean and tidy the house so each day that is what she does, and her room is re organised several times a day.. Your social butterfly friend needs to have reminders, put together a visitors book so that words can be written and who came etc, and then you can all write, and the next person then read out as tho its the biggest surprise I see suzie wong came yesterday and she has been doing such n such.. sort of a personal facebook.
To find something to say to my Ma when she talked about doing herself in etc.. I just told her she would fail, as it would not be using her dratted vacuum cleaner....... and that her job of doing something useful was over.. she had had her children, she had reached the age of 90 [then] and even tho she hated it her body was now back to being in its twilight years.. Did she wonder if a baby was of what purpose when all it did was drink and pee?????? and keep to the simple then change the conversation, often getting a silly answer is all they want, as they fumble to find their place in the new society [bubble] they are in.
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Even though her broken hip wasn't as bad as it could have been, a broken hip for someone that age is a tremendous trauma for the body. Also, hospitalization - even a brief one - can push someone on the verge of dementia deeper into the disease. Considering the physical and emotional traumas she’s suffered, her downturn is fairly normal.

I’d help her prepare for her workshops even if she does the same preparation steps repeatedly. If she has a goal, that is good and can bring her out of her slump for awhile. I wouldn't discourage her planning by saying that isn’t realistic. Planning may give her a purpose. You could even ask her if she has all of her supplies. Maybe a new planning notebook or something may help keep her interested.

Distraction by telling stories of friends and family can also help.
You are such a good friend. She’s a lucky woman.
Take care,
Carol
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I'm assuming that with such a good friend as you and other people you referred to in your post you've all tried to convince her or to get her to see that she does have purpose in life but she is not convinced and keeps commenting on her lack of purpose in life. If this is so, trying to get her see that she has purpose is not working and probably won't work. However, you can talk to the activities director at the ALF and tell her/him how your friend is feeling, see if she/he can come up with someone special for your friend.

Since she has dementia she might be easily distracted. When she starts to talk about not having any purpose in life redirect her attention to something you saw on the news or a great book you're reading or something funny you heard. If your friend refuses to do anything about her situation or if dementia is preventing her from doing anything about it I'm sure it's very difficult to hear her talk about her lack of purpose all the time. Things like that can drive people away because we just don't know what to do or how to help.

As a last resort tell her to get over herself and go to the 'simple minded' activities. They're better than nothing, will get her out of the apartment, and I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that they'll make her feel better There's nothing more depressing than sitting around thinking about how depressed you are.
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