We found a seemingly amazing memory care facility that offers respite ranging from one to six months at a time. This seems like a perfect (if that's possible) scenario for us to try this facility out. A month or more would give my husband and me a TRULY meaningful break and at the same time, it would be the perfect way to see how mom adjusts without having to commit full time from day one.
We decided a memory care facility would be a better option at this point than in home care. The biggest problem we face is not being able to sleep through the night and then being exhausted all day while trying to provide 24/7 care. We would literally need a caregiver here almost every night and then a couple of daytime shifts a week. I think this would be a more stressful scenario not to mention increasing our Covid exposure even more as most caregivers tend to multiple families.
So as we've been compiling a list of questions/concerns we have for the memory care facility, my husband says he has just one question for me. If mom ended up getting Covid, will I live with endless guilt for years to come for placing her there? If the answer is yes, he said we are NOT doing it because he will not watch me beat myself up. I get it, I do have the tendency to play the "could I/should I have done more/not done this or that" line over and over again after I experience loss of life - human and pet.
I've said this before...having to deal with dementia is difficult enough but doing it in the midst of a pandemic is a near impossible situation!!!