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My situation is: I care give for my twin sister that lives with me and my wife. She is very easy care but I am around her 24/7 and my wife has vacation time coming up in may but I can't leave my sister alone. Where can I turn? Thank You!

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The Vets that are given medical services that are needed are considered to be service connected disabled vets. The social workers at the VA can assist the family or client to determine what if any services he/she might qualify for.
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wamnanealz, real quick: do VA services apply to all veterans? Or only the ones who saw active duty, I mean like in a war. I know a man who was in the service for 4 years in the 70's and just patrolled a warehouse and washed military vehicles. But he was in the service and got an honorable discharge.
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The VA contracts with agencies that get paid directly from the Va budget. The client does not pay anything. The agency sends people out after an intake worker comes out to see what all the client needs. Then the decision as to how many hrs the worker can get are determined by the agency.
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Dear Alexander,
They provided a nursing home with complete care for as long as I wanted it up to 30 days a year. I should have taken it all, but only asked for the time I spent at the beach with my daughter and her family. They paid for everything. I didn't get a choice, but the nursing home was really nice and they told good care of Bill. I didn't have to do anything but bring a weeks worth of clothes. They even did his wash for him and didn't lose a thing. You have to go through the VA and sometimes you have to wait for the home. But I was lucky and they had the time I needed. It all worked out great! It was really hard to leave him, of course, and I felt so guilty, but I really needed it. It helped that I spent time with my daughter and her family. I have two teenage grandchildren who I haven't seen very often because of distance and because I was confined at home with Bill for a year and a half! I really enjoyed the time away and with family!

Previously to this week, the VA also provided 10 hours of care per week a caregiver to help Bill and time for me to go food shopping and running errands. The caregiver came three times a week for three or four hours at a time. Bill wouldn't let her do anything for whims mostly she just babysat while I went out! He hated having someone "New" in his home and he told her that a lot! When he started getting violent,,I had to put him in the home. I was too scared to be alone with him!
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wamnanealz, what did the VA do for you? Get help, or pay for help?
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wamnanealz
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I went through VA because my husband was a veteran. They paid for everything for 11 days and I could have had a month if I asked. It was so refreshing.
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There are camps and retreats for adults with mental and physical impairments. Many are nonprofit and will subsidize the cost based on her ability to pay.
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If you are not the only POA, some of the respite options Mike work for you. The VA offers a respite for caregivers. I was the only POA for 2 Alzheimer's patients and have never been able to take respite for 3 years. I got calls about my father when I was in the hospital. I couldn't go to him because I was on powerful narcotics and the hospital staff would not have let me leave. Out nation does a horrible job of caring for its elderly, and sick. However, if you can find someone to share the POA responsibilities, there ar agencies that can help. If your loved one is a veteran, call the VA. Even if you can only get 2-3 days, that would allow you to get sleep and catch up on some of your medical visits.
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Try contacting your state home care agency via local Senior center/COA. In my state these agencies offer "caregiver scholarships" to assist with respite care. Some Assisted Living facilities will offer respite, but can be pricey.
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Over the 4 years I have been coordinating care for my parents, I recommend everyone set up respite care, somehow. The easiest way, I think, is to find part time caregivers to come in home. If you must trick your loved one who refuses to consider such a thing, pretend the person in your friend, or a family friend, or volunteering their time....whatever it takes. For my Dad, we convinced him the caregiver was coming to help Mom with housework. She came, and did a few light projects with Mom there...and worked on how to befriend Dad. After a couple weeks, the two of them were 'friends' and Lisa, the caregiver, could think of some activity to do with Dad, and Mom could 'go to the store' and they were fine. With his dementia, it didn't take long before he thought she had always been coming to help. When Mom needed a caregiver, and didn't want anyone coming in, we convinced her the young lady we hired was a close friend of her great granddaughter. In truth, they were the same age, and went to the same church, but not especially close friends, but Mariana was a licensed CNA from a home health agency. Mom loved her because 'she was Haley's friend...' Both the caregivers WERE very experienced with dementia and elderly care, so knew how to befriend my parents. I lived in another town, so I had to have really good contact with the caregivers, by phone and emails to get feedback about how things were going.....but I've been on two week long vacations with them there and all went well. Mom is now in Assisted Living by me. Her place has several apartments set aside for respite care and it's provided, as someone said above, at a bit over $100/day, but takes a couple weeks ahead to set up because they need health clearance from MD, TB skin test results and some paperwork. When the price seems, high, remember, that it's 24/7 AND includes all the meals, plus the room or apartment. And, of course, the expense for such should come from your sister's money, not your own personal money. Caregivers ARE permitted time off at their client's expense, even if family.
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Then spend the money you would have to get away with your wife and pay for someone to care for your sister and you and your wife take day trips alone. Just getting around Mother Nature and being away from the house is refreshing. Go for long walks, take a bus ride to places in your town you have not been to yet, and get lost. Take yourself on a new adventure. Best wishes!
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In my area, several assisted living facilities have a few rooms available for respite care at $125-150 per day. Advance planning is required as they will need some documents from her doctor. This takes about two weeks for the first time.
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There are a few options out there for you. One is in home care giver either private or through an agency. If you chose an agency the cost for 24/7 care would be pretty high. Another option is an adult family home, my mom lives in one now and they take in respite care when they have a empty bed. They would charge aprox 600.00 for a week, now that is here in michigan. If your sister is a senior contact your area agency on aging they can give you info on respite care in your area. Whatever you have to do both you and Alexander need to make this happen for your own health sake and in your case for the sake of your marriage. Alexander you might try bringing in someone now your husband could get to know, maybe one day a week then take your 3 days with your daughters you need it. If you think hubby will be to combative then find a facility for respite through area agency on aging. Not going away now and then will build up resentment which is bad for everyone involved.
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I am in the same boat! My husband has Lewy Body Dementia. He needs me to fill his meds, be sure he takes them, fix his meals, walk the dog, etc, etc. During the day he watches TV most of the time. It's night time that is a real problem, with acting out nightmares, hallucinating, confusion, etc. I have a chance to take a three day trip with my two daughters, so I mentioned to him he might need someone else with him during that time. He says he will not have it!
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I would turn to the church. There are sometimes people there who will help as a ministry and not charge as much.
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You do not mention the age of your sister or why she requires a caregiver. Depending on her age and disability there are often public programs and or camps or vacation programs for those with health related concerns or diablities. Please share her age and the reason she needs care and I can guide you to potential area to research in your local area.
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You will either have to pay for a full time sitter (using sister's money if possible) or find a facility that offers short term respite stays. Neither option is cheap. Is there no one else who could look after her while you are gone?
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