I need to have a hysterectomy in January. It will be major surgery since I have fibroids the size of a newborn so it will be 8-10 weeks recup time and absolutely NO lifting of any kind (which means no transfers). I wanted mom to be in a NH for at least a month and then have home care in for her after that. Her neurologist says respite care for something like this is generally only 2 wks. That seems odd since people do have to have surgeries and such. Mom has Stage 4 PD has become incontinent at night and is showing cognitive decline. (Personally, I think she needs to be in the NH permanently and was hoping this would be a way to ease her into it but that may or may not work but definitely while I have surgery she needs to be somewhere.
Her neurologist may be the absolute best expert on parkinson's in the area, but that doesn't make him an expert on respite care.
What it really comes down to is who is paying? Can Mom afford to pay for a month or two months of respite care? If so, no problem. You will be able to find some place that will do that. No money? Then insurance is going to dictate what is available and for how long.
If you have picked out an NH, discuss the situation with them. You might also discuss the situation with a social worker at the hospital where you will be having surgery.
At least you did not leave this to the last minute and you have some time to work with.
Good luck on resolving the respite care issues, and also on your surgery!