How do I get the respect I deserve from siblings who only care about their inheritance?

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I am sure I will never get any respect from my sister and her family ever because they all live under the illusion that they are perfect. Too perfect to come around and help out with our Mom too! My brother is all the way across the US from us so I can't say anything about him physically being here to help. My sister lives 2 minutes away. She tends to come around when I (the caregiver of 3 yrs now) have had some sort of failure or a let down in my life. I don't tell her about these mishaps- my mother does. And boy when Mom gets to talk about anything negative- she goes to town. My sister is always worried about her inheritance and what she will have to deal with when mom is gone. I don't give a rat's ass about money or the inheritance of anything except stupid trinkets that mean something to me. I am the only kid that has been here for mom and all her mental abuse has left me shredded and broken. Still I love her. When Mom said that my sister is pissed because I lost my job and now "mooching off mom and spending THEIR inheritance," I just about lost it. Sister now is coaching mother on how to kick me out, get me off the will, sell my belongings and the worst - says she hates me. I have been out of a job one month and I am so beat up by these people I can barely think straight. I need to get a job and I've got 30 days to do it- Per my sister, the executor of the estate. This is what I get in return for enduring the mental abuse and anguish from a mother with dementia and possible alzheimer's. I look at it as my way out of here= finally!! I just need to find my independence and a job and let go of it all right??? But how???

Kris

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Good going Chickie. I knew you could do it. Shake the dust of your sister off your shoes and keep walking. Let her have the pleasure of taking care of mom for a while. I'm proud of you.
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Good for you!! Keep us posted, it's great to hear caregivers who choose to take care of themselves for a change. You get massive respect from us!!
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OH! I am so glad for you, Kristilou. Some many posters get great advice, agree with it, and do nothing. I'm proud of you. Do keep us updated! We care!

(And don't worry if the journey doesn't go perfectly smoothly. We are proud of you for starting it.)
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Kristi, great for you! You'll have a much better time visiting mom. And when your sister hires caregivers and they're not perfect, just remember that's okay! And when mom complains, say, well mom, you wouldn't want me draining your money now, would you? And when sis is livid, just smile very sweetly.
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Thank you all so much for the replies! I got a great job, start on Monday. 1st step- done. Next step soon to follow. I'll keep my progress updated! To h*ll with inheritance!! Sanity and self worth is all I need!!
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You don't need to do anything but leave! If you really have to give notice, make it 2 weeks and let sister figure out caregiving. Being executor means nothing until Mom dies and even then, does not make sister queen of your universe.

So sorry you are having to take this journey. It just breaks my heart reading how families are so hateful, thoughtless and petty to each other. God bless!
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If you are going to stay there, get power of attorney over your mother's finances and health. Otherwise, get out and let sister handle. You can just be "her daughter" and visit when you can.
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I agree with most of them other responses. Get a job, even if minimum wage and find a small affordable apt of there is such a thing. Get out of there and let sister take over for awhile. I know how this is from experience. You can't make sister respect you.
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Wow! The sister from h*ll. You need to run, not walk for the door. Tell sis she can have it all, including caring for mom. We'll see how she handles that. Pour all your efforts into finding a job. Get going. You can do this.
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It is going to a shock when your greedy siblings figure out how quickly their "inheritance" will dwindle when Mom doesn't have an in-home caregiver. Give your sister thirty-days notice to find some other way to care for Mom, and in the meantime, don't answer her calls or emails except once a day at your convenience. Ignore her. Focus on finding that job, and on finding a place to live.

Of course you love your mom. You can love her just as much visiting her on your schedule, from your home base.

BTW, as executor your sister has NOTHING to say about who lives in Mother's house now. In case she hasn't noticed, Ma ain't dead yet. Who has Power of Attorney for Ma?

Have you been getting paid for the caregiving you have been doing?
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