I have a 76-year-old mother who has Alzheimer's in combination with narcissistic personality disorder. While her NPD is undiagnosed, looking back at her younger years, she fits the characteristics to a tee. The Alzhiemer's with NPD is so hard and difficult to endure. She was brutal when I was a kid, but it's like 100 fold now.
My mother thinks that she has no dementia problem. She has no problem whatsoever and it's everybody else's fault. My father is currently taking care of her, but he is almost 77 and is getting so physically drained and exhausted. My dad just had surgery to put stints in and within 5 minutes of him coming out of surgery and in the recovery room, she starts laying into him throwing a temper tantrum. The temper tantrums are daily occurences. He is constantly accused of philandering. She gets physically aggressive when he's driving and has had to pull over so as not to get into an accident. She makes up stories that she's being abused by my dad. She constantly complains that she is disrespectd by everyone despite the fact the fact that she's a good person and has done nothing but good things for other people and this is the thanks she gets. We are constantly being accused of talking bad about her. She finds no pleasure from even seeing her grandkids. She has become so emotionally detached because everything is so focused on her. She has her moments when she can be tame, but the negative, bratty, beast side is far more prevalent than the tame kitten. Her list of antics goes on and on. It's exhausting.
We have been contemplating putting her into an assisted living center (ALC) for the elderly and memory impaired. We've also contemplated getting a caregiver. We know that she will fight either one of these as she does not think she has dementia. My dad and I are just mentally exhausted. It's my spiritual faith that hasn't broken me from this dreaded disease, because we are both human punching bags and it's no fun.
Has anyone had to deal with an Alz + NPD parent that absolutely refuses to go to an ALC? If so, how did they deal with it and how were able to get them to one (if you were successful)? Any advice is greatly appreciated.