She is doing well, lives in her home, I am there several times per week. She eats, dresses herself, can use the phone, read and speak, signs checks for bills, etc. Will not allow me to supervise cleaning service and it's hard for me to change her sheets, lift super heavy mattress; I do laundry when I can, mop when I can, buy and unload groceries and supplies, prepare meals, take out trash, deal with the gardener, etc., but there is so much more that needs to be done.
The plumbers were there recently to replace all pipes, she always tells me it's her house (in front of any repair people) and to stay out of it - no problem, and they got her signed up and she was gung ho. Thousands of dollars (but about right for the size of her home) and new pipes later, she says she already paid it and did not sign anything. The plumbing people should have known better. I called her that night to say "think about it" before they started, she hung up on me. She has not been diagnosed with anything - and had a cat-scan last summer when she accidentally cut her scalp.
However, she will not go to the doctor for annual check up, (I take her blood pressure each week), and is now canceling her hair appointments after I drive an hour to take her and confirming the night before and while driving (I have Bluetooth - it' legal). I get there and she says she does not want to go, though raves about the hair dresser afterwards each time. She has now canceled on the hair dresser 4 times in a row and I am letting it go for now. Mom wants to go back to the salon that ripped her off and takes much longer to do her hair - I told her I will not take her there, but she can catch a cab if she wants to sit there for hours and over pay.
These are just a few examples where she agrees to things we have been doing for a long time, then does the 180 or simply resists.
She will not allow a part-time caregiver in. Will nature run its course or must I resort to APS - where she will not say good things about me if she thinks I called.
Two of my siblings live in her area, but have not spoken to her (or me) for decades, for reasons only known to them. She is verbally abusive - she has been that way most of my life. How can I continue to help her if she will not cooperate, at least half of the time?
Any thoughts would be appreciated, thanks. I work almost full time, and have my own life to run, too. Any friends or neighbors near her or me are busy working, or have families, not an option.