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I emailed the executive director and told him: I visit my mom, X, every night at dinner time and then I get her ready for bed. Mom loves to sleep. I always ask her if she has to go to the bathroom, but either way I always change her brief as I change her clothes, and put on a clean brief. I put the dirty brief, overweight in urine, next to my moms pile of dirty clothes. It was brought to my attention, when the dirty clothes were picked up, that my moms brief had not been changed since 5:30 am, earlier that day. (over 12 hours) My mom pee's a lot, so to sit all day in a dirty wet brief is inhuman.
Please respond as to how this situation was handled. Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.
He emailed me back: what day did this happen and whom brought this to your attention. He said this is unacceptable care and would not be tolerated.
I emailed back her name and said: I am shocked that 2 caregivers ignored my mom for 12 hours. Thanks for your immediate attention.
He said he would personally do the staff investigation and looked forward to hearing more in regards to the above questions - what day it happened & who brought it to my attention.
I went to visit my mom as usual and the caregiver called me in the kitchen and said she was in trouble. The executive director did personally investigate the matter. He only wanted to know why it was brought to my attention, why I was told. He was not at all concerned about my mom sitting in her pee, nothing was mentioned, I felt the caregiver was being punished for sharing information with me, the resident family. Wearing the same dirty brief was not an issue, never even brought up or discussed.
I am waiting for the director to respond. Val

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My Mom used to work as a nurse in NH's in North Carolina. Make a report to the state inspection agency for nursing homes about patient not being changed or attended to for 12 hours. An inspection from the state agency has a chance of fixing the ratio of staff to patients in that facility.
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I agree with above answer - definitely contact the nursing home Ombudsman office in the area where the nursing home is located. When my mother was in a facility, I happened to be visiting her on several occasions when the Ombudsman representative was making rounds and asking if I had any concerns about my mother's care; or if my mother herself had concerns. She told me to call anytime with concerns. Nursing homes are required to meet certain standards.

Also, as Ismiami recommended, building a working relationship with the nurses, CNA's, etc. truly makes a difference. Blessings to you and your mother. Take care and good luck with all of this.
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Here is what I would do, if you can.
Drop by unexpectedly, at strange hours. Hang around enough to build a relationship with the person who actually cares for your elder. Remember their names ask about their kids ask how long they worked there, etc.....be firendly.
Ask them directly for what you need/want. Once you develop a personal realtioship your patient will have better care......human nature.

If this does not work, when complaining abut something somebody told you about, say you saw this, instead of risking your source.
Focus your complaint on the fact, not on the source.
Look for evidence on mom. If she is not being changed, she likely has irritated skin.
Given the have already been deceitful, send a letter complaining, and copy the Ombudsman office that is supposed to oversee patient's rights. every NH has the number. or web page prominently posted,
Bring your source a nice gift, card with a practical gift card.

Unfortunately, changing facilities is difficult and who is to say another would be better.
In my opinion, the key to best service is frequent drop bys and building a relationship with the caregivers.
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Pam- I worked in a care facility as housekeeper. I was not authorized - and you bring up another good point why I would move mom- obviously the employee feels that staff and supervisors would not take kindly to their work being challenged and judged
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I'm just curious as to why caregiver complained to family instead of getting it taken care of. You know the patient is wet, you do nothing, remind no one, and then complain to family? Seems a bit odd.
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Personally- my mom would be out of there yesterday. Retribution against the concerns of the employee reveals that when problems arise- cover ups are status quo. Get rid if employees who don't play the game and send a message to would-be whistle blower- is blackmail and shady management. Ni problems will be fixed- they will do a better cover up job. Tell the employee to file a lawsuit or complaint with state labor board and you will be by her side. Get mom moved. She's in a compromised facility and her livelihood could be in jeopardy.
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So instead of the director finding out who was responsible for your mom at the time she was ignored the director just wanted to know why the family (you) discovered that your mom was ignored. Your mom's wellbeing was not the point but the point became who told the family that your mom hadn't been changed in over 12 hours.

So your email totally missed it's mark. The director gave you lip service about your mom's care then came down on the staff who told you about it. I can understand how that was not the resolution you were looking for.

This may sound harsh but regardless of the reason for the director coming down on the staff responsible for your mom that day at least it was brought to their attention. So the director passed the buck to his staff. Your mom's problem will still probably be solved in that someone will most likely be on the ball next time and not let your mom sit around in a wet pull-up all day. I know you want the director to really care and to be concerned about this and maybe he is but you did the right thing in emailing him, the staff was put on notice, mission accomplished.

When my dad went into a NH I learned the hard way to pick my battles. No one would care for him as well as I did and I had to accept this. I had to let go of some things so I wasn't constantly nagging the staff. However, being in a wet pull-up all day is not something I would have let go of. It's miserable to the person and unhygienic and unhealthy. Definitely a battle worth fighting.
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Yes, we have to be patient advocates! You did the right thing as a start to address the problem. Someone with dementia may not remember to change their depends. I am sure she is paying good money for her care. It is not unresonable to request a schedule for her to be reminded to go to bathroom and for them to check/change her at more frequent intervals. I would start a log in her room, requesting for aides/nurses to initial date/ times they have assisted her with this problem. She may also be on a water pill, which makes her get rid of much fluid.
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