My Mother is in hospital and doing very badly. Can I request she go to hospice? - AgingCare.com

My Mother is in hospital and doing very badly. Can I request she go to hospice?

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Her heart and blood pressure are bad. The doctor says she'll probably never walk again. They have her arms tied because she keeps taking the IV needles out. She is miserable. I want her to be made comfortable and just let her go. They can see prolonging her life is futile. This is crazy hard.

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My mother is in hospice at the assisted living facility where she has lived for the past two years. They are giving her continual care which is very comforting to me. My sister is coming out from CA and she thinks she's comforting but she's not. Still, Mom will be happy to hold her hand. I had no idea Alzheimer's ended this way. No clue.
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I was referred to hospice by the hospital social worker because the doctor was not suggesting it (as others have mentioned as well). I called hospice myself and they sent one of their people out to the house to see if Mom "qualified" which she did. They were wonderful in caring for her and helping me as I was an only child of a single parent who was dying of cancer and wanted to be in her own home (she got her wish!). The social worker told me, "let them help you as much as possible so you can be her daughter and not her nurse…she needs her daughter too." Such good advice I'll never forget. We signed on with hospice home care on Oct 1 and Mom passed away on Dec 2. Don't hesitate to contact hospice!
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Hopsice will come at your request. You don't need a doctor to request them. They have their own requirements and will determine whether your loved one falls within them. Just make the call if you're interested and let them tell you if they'll come. God bless you.
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Just remember, just because you go on hospice, does not mean that everyday will be a good day. My partner has his days filled with fiddling with the sheets, wanting to get out of the bed. It is taking time to adjust his meds to his physical weight and strength. The mind does not want to give up, but the Spirit wants out. It is a fight to the finish. At first, I was conservative with the drugs thinking I would overdose him. Finally I got the picture. Hospice is all about making them VERY comfortable. They do not want the patient to be fiddling or worrying. You would be surprised at the amount of drugs my partner can take into his system and still be fighting all over the place. It is HARD. I get very very tired. But, when he finally has the correct doses and falls asleep or is sweet as sweet can be, I start to cry inside. I told the hospice nurse, I was afraid I would overdose him and she said "you can't". I have to remember, this is our choice, and he wants to end it. But, in God's time, but with all the medication that his body can take to stop the pain and suffering. It is horrible to watch someone suffer that you love. So, if you take on Hospice with your loved one, really really love them. If they are in a care home, visit them often to make sure they are comfortable. I was told that I had to stop jumping to him with every movement he makes. I wanted to make it better. It is VERY hard. Anyone who has sat with their loved one = sleeping next to them on the couch every night until they go, will tell you...It is the hardest job you will ever do in your life. God Bless
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When my Mom was in the hospital and not doing well I talked about hospice to the NP and doctors and just got blank looks or vague answers. It was not until she was in rehab a year later that the NP in that nursing home recommended the hospice organization they have come in there, she went on hospice and it has been a Godsend. I would contact a hospice organization directly to have one of their doctors do an evaluation.
Sadly I believe often hospitals will avoid putting a patient in hospice if they think there is more money to be made. Better to have the hospice company doctor do the evaluation.
For us Hospice ended all that horrible pressure to rehab and struggle to get to multitudes of doctor's appointments and deal with physical therapy etc. It has been a huge relief to us.
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Absolutely call in Hospice I 've received help from them with both my husband and then my mother... and they're not just there to help the patient they are there for you too. My only regret is that I didn't call Hospice sooner...don't wait, you and your mother need them now.
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Kgaither...You know you are right! END OF LIFE CARE. While you are caring for a patient on Hospice, that is a thought we must remember. We are NOT going to make them well. They MAY get better on their own however. I have met a women who was on hospice and is out and about on her own these days. Go Figure. But her son is the chaplain for Hospice here, and maybe he has an IN with God. Not all Hospice patients die. Soon after going on hospice you will know. I have told my kids to GET ME HOSPICE and take good loving care of me. But, LET ME GO.

I would recommend anyone taking care of a Hospice patient to not think HEALING. There is a time to live and a time to die. At first, I kept thinking, if I care for him properly, maybe I can see him healed and back on his feet alive and well and chasing me around the house again. Sooner than later, I realized that was not going to happen and started the process of taking care of him, THE WAY I SHOULD instead of what I WAS THINKING I SHOULD. They are dying, we must accept it and make their lives comfortable. That is what the drugs are for. The Hospice Box of meds is certainly a Miracle of our day. Loosing them is difficult, and depending upon your belief, you believe you will see them again or not.
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And they don't have to be 'dying'. My mother had 2 mild strokes and she had congestive heart failure. I talked to her doctor and he put the order in. As it's already been said, they can be called in for a condition where your parent is not going to get better from. And it was called End of Life care just like Llamalover47 said.
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I live in Oregon and we are a Right to Die state. However, my partner and I believe in dying in God's time. With that said, not all doctors agree with Hospice and I do not know why. We are very fortunate that our Doctor is the Hospice doctor. It was funny as We have gone to him for 20+ years. Some people make comments about our doctor and we could not figure out why the negative comments. Turns out I did not know he was the Hospice doctor. And with that said, those who have bad things or thoughts about Hospice assume he does not care about LIFE. Could not be further from the truth. My Partner is dying a beautiful death. He spends a lot of time lately talking to everyone who has gone before him. He also has talked with God. How wonderful that makes me feel. Neither of us would agree to die in a hospital and we both made this promise to each other. In our case, our plans were written up and all documents prepared for EVERYTHING POA, Trust, Last wishes and everything else long before his Parkinson became worse. You and your mother are in my prayers tonight. God Bless
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When my husband died, I begged the doctor to call in hospice and the doctor kept saying my husband was not dying. FINALLY while my husband lay in ER, he called hospice. My husband died the next evening at home. This doctor obviously did not believe in hospice. Don't count on your doctor agreeing with you. Do it yourself and hospice has a Hospice doctor.
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