Aunt deemed mentally incompetent and as my sister and I are her only next of kin. Can we request a copy of her POA forms from the person who says they have it? - AgingCare.com

Aunt deemed mentally incompetent and as my sister and I are her only next of kin. Can we request a copy of her POA forms from the person who says they have it?

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My Aunt is in 24 hour care and is getting great care. She has been deemed mentally incompetent and as my sister and I are her only next of kin = Can we request a copy of her Health and POA forms from the person who says they have it. They told us they would give us the forms but have now declined and said they wont give them to us. As we live in England we feel helpless and prior to getting sick the people involved with Health and POA told us that nothing was in place but a living will. What rights have we as next of kin to our Aunt and can we request these forms. would appreciate your help

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Molly you keep posting this over and over and the answer is the same. You are not "next of kin". Next of Kin in England is a legal document which you do not have. In USA, NY the equivalent status is POA which you do not have. Should you come to NY and seek Guardianship, the Judge will not give it to you because you are a foreign resident. Those are the hard facts, sorry. As for her great wealth, if you are mentioned in her Will, you will be notified. Chances are that the nursing home is costing $10,000 a month and not much will be left over for anyone to fight over. Sorry again. Just send a box of her favorite chocolates and hope for reconciliation.
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Hello and thank you for your replies in connection with my Aunt. Countrymouse thank you for advice and just to let you know My aunt is in care residence in New York State - My sister and I have just arrived back home in England and visited her in her care residence - She is happy enough there but talks about getting back to her apartment - We did'nt tell her it was gone or that all her possessions were given away and that the care residence was her home now. She is and always was eccentric and a loner but happy with her life and she liked us to visit but not overstay. With regard to my aunts 2nd cousins who are our 3rd cousins and who we used stay with on vacation in America and vice/versa when they came to England - they will not take our calls or meet us and the residence would not give us any information on our Aunts health or any medical issues. My sister and I requested to see POA and Health Proxy forms and we were advised that they would be scanned to us 12 weeks ago and this week cousins informed us that they feel we have no need to see them - It's so sad that friendships are broken over this and our poor aunt has been deemed mentally incompetent and we her nieces and only next of kin have been excluded from helping or ensuring she is in the right place. It is very hard get advice from anyone - do we just go away and forget we have an Aunt who through no fault of hers or ours only knew each other from telephone calls and letters and a yearly visit to see her in America. And then to loose the friendship of our cousins who once our aunt got sick stopped all correspondence and told us not to visit our Aunt till they got all the necessary paperwork in order - when I asked my cousins what we could do as next of kin = there was no reply. Any help = you mention officialdom - all replies gratefully appreciated. Pam Stegman any advice for me. Thank you for reading.
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Hi Molly, sorry just posted on your other thread!

It's difficult transposing legal principles across the Atlantic, but having said that their laws seem to have pretty much the same aims as ours even if not quite the same format.

In the UK, you don't have a right to see financial or health and welfare POA documents unless the person giving POA (your aunt, in this case) nominated you as a "person to be told" when she drew up the documents. I expect there's a similar requirement in the States.

But, even if she didn't do that, you still do have a right to ask for officialdom to check that your cousins actually have got formal POA/HP, and that they are going about their duties properly. There will be a mechanism for this, equivalent to lodging a request with the OPG in this country, but now I'm out of my depth. Pam Stegman knows a lot about this subject so with a bit of luck she'll be along in a moment - or you could try messaging her?
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thank you for your reply - My aunt is an american citizen and is in America = I live in England - Our 2nd cousins say they have POA and Health Proxy and said they would give us a copy of these forms -now they say we cannot have them - I would like to know can we obtain them or request them from our cousins.
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Who is the person you're talking about, Molly? Lawyer, friend, neighbour, another relative? And where is your aunt, in the UK or elsewhere? In residential care, hospital, rehab unit, at home?

If your aunt is in England, it's simple - contact the Office of the Public Guardian and they'll advise you as to how to proceed. I'm not saying you'll necessarily like the advice, mind: it depends who is currently claiming to be in charge, and what his or her status is.
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