Is there a way to report a woman who married your elderly dad for financial and emotional elder abuse?

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This woman preyed on our father by meeting him in a senior active community, started having him pay for her bills and she even wrote checks from his account (before marriage). She married him in a secretive ceremony in which we were not old of until after the fact. This was 2 years ago when my dad was 83 and at the very beginnings of alzheimers... now this woman has put him in several nursing homes.. this last one is 4 hours away from any of his family. She has also told us/threatened us many times that she has Power of Attorney and can do anything she wants with him and not let us see him if we aren't 'nice' to her. We know our dad had at least $800,000 in savings for his retirement/health care but she has spent it all and is telling us that she has no more money to pay for the nursing home he's in. We have proof and several people's testimony (from private investigator) that this lady has married old men before (she's 60-ish), spent/took all their money and then they either die or they get a divorce. She is clinically diagnosed as bipolar - hence the big spending sprees and sexual advances we've seen. She was also bankrupt in between her last relationship and meeting my dad.
I know my dad chose to marry her and it seems like this is some form of 'legal robbery'.. but was hoping there was any chance we can prove her for the fraud that she is and get her in jail so she doesn't do this again to yet another naive elderly man and his family.
I'm scared she's spent all of my dad's savings and won't have money to pay for his care anymore, take him back to her home she bought with his money and not take care of him in the way he needs to, to the point where he may die an early death and then take his life insurance as well. (the private investigator does have a quote from her neighbor saying that she told her she was a nurse and can kill someone and 'get away with it'). Just wondering what our options are since this isn't technically an outsider scam but a woman who preyed on him, got married to him and spent all his money.
Thank you,
Pam

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Daughterof80yo I am going through a somewhat similar situation with my FIL. He is in his mid 80s and the woman is in her mid thirties. She is from the US though. He was in an assisted living home after a recent stroke. We were hoping to see some improvement in his health and hoping he could go home again. Or at some point we would come to a decision on his long term care. She showed up on the scene and gained access to him through the assisted living. Lied that she was a relative. But they cant/wont restrict access anyways. She managed to alienate him from the family. I talked with the elderly protective services. Other family members contacted his lawyer. But all this has only strengthened his entrenchment with her and drives him further from the family. I called the local police but there is nothing they will do as it is his choice. Somehow in the process of inquiring with both the lawyer and the assisted living facility they told him. And now he is furious that people are trying to take his rights away. He let it slip in conversation that he had married her. This is only after 2 months from meeting. He was wheelchair bound and in diapers and she is 50 years younger than him. I am at a loss as to what to do now. The elderly protective service has finally connected with him (because he has been furious over this) but they do not have any communication with the family. I am widowed and he is my husbands father. I feel some responsibility to protect him. As a widow I am clearly aware of the unscrupulous people out there. But I live in a different state and have children in school. His other son is also out of state. Neither of us are after his money or are really strong enough to stand up to him or her. But its difficult to watch this and not feel that this woman has no morals. But he is happy with her. And I suppose that is something.

I too am at a loss. He has some obvious mental deterioration but is in that gray area where he could easily fake it if pressed. And he certainly isn't so far gone that he should be so blind to this. But any argument or discussion or disagreement with him only seems to drive him further into her control.
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Though this post is from years ago, I'd be interested in getting in touch with several of you. I'm living a nightmare watching a woman 50 years younger than my 80-year-old father coerce him into marriage, manipulate him and taking his money all in the name of "love". We've tried it all: FBI, ICE (she's from Ghana), State Dept., private investigators, police, adult protective services, elder abuse attorney's and filing for conservatorship. The harsh reality I'm learning is though the crime is so blantently obvious to everyone, I'm told over and over by the authorities that individuals have the right to abuse themselves. My father is showing signs of dementia but we cannot get him to see a neuropsychologist without a court battle. When is enough, enough?
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People long to be loved and it can't be easy to hear that someone is just pretending to love you and after your money. But if they are aware of the past history with aliases and all, and persist in the delusion or denial, lawyer up, consider guardianship (maybe just the threat would accomplish something), consider a private detective to convey findings and see if maybe the person is wanted for prosecution elsewhere and can be turned in, find a third party or some articles via AARP or some other self-help source that will seem more credible than you (they could try and might succeed in convincing your loved one you are just greedy to get a bigger inheritance). This is so wrong and can be so heartbreaking, especially if the abuser manages to stay just this side of legal with it all. Even if appropriating the money is legal, possibly it could violate the terms of a POA as not in the person's best interest and a court might see through it all and help you remove them as POA. Maybe just the threat of revealing their past and seeking prosecution would work to get them out of your family's life..
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My father has died and we have found his will changed she removed jewelry from funeral home etc. But we have found many others that have had dealings with this person so we know we are not mad
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I have had the same problem but our gold digger did not marry my father. She is a repeat gold digger that changes her name. She always has 6 months to live for at least 20 years and she has fake babies I wish I was making this up I'm in the uk and elder abuse is the way I am going to go
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My elderly mother is being prayed upon by a man 20+ years her junior and who has a reputation for scamming elderly women by moving into their homes under the guise that he is a nurse. He has a pattern of elder abuse with addresses and aliases in numerous states. He lures these women and gets access to their finances, a POA or marries them, they pass away, he takes their assets, and moves onto another unsuspecting elderly woman in need of companionship. Our family was warned about him; however my mother doesn't see what he is doing, worming his way into her life. He discusses health and finances with her and tells her he would like to take her all over the world - everything she wants to hear. She defends him vehemently, telling us how wonderful he is, and how he can take care of her We need to protect our mother from him before it is too late. Her mind is starting to fail her and we are afraid he is going to make a move any moment. What can we do?!
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Did anyone ever have any results? We are in similar situation with our father. He thought he was in "love". He stayed in marriage because he hoped his wife who is MUCH younger would eventually love him. However, she spends his $ and now that he can barely do anything for himself but he does not want to do go into nursing home (and his mind is still good) she is upset. Issue is they have been married 15 years. I am concerned because she does not feed him, or take care of him at all and totally alienates family. However, when adult protective services are called, he protects her and because it is his wife, they say they cannot do anything...so what can I do? Any suggestions?
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Thank you for your help! How did you get it to be a federal case?
Our issue is that the lady married our dad and he gave her full power of attorney. when he was of sound mind a few years ago... but now he has alzheimer's and can't testify against her or say that he wants her gone/wants his money back.. he basically has no clue anymore what happened. From what I understand, she is basically legally able to use his (technically I guess 'their') money.
Meanwhile she put him in a nursing home and has 2 houses, couple cars, hundreds of thousands of jewelry, taking cruises/trips and not visiting him hardly at all. From what I understand, as long as she is 'taking care' of him by paying his nursing home bills - she can do whatever she wants with his money since they're married and she has POA.
Ugh - so frustrating.. this stranger has come in and taken over a million of my family's money all for herself.
The reason why we're 'waiting' is when she runs out of his money and then is legally bound to him by marriage to pay the nursing bills still. What then? We think, then she will come after us for those bills... We don't want to have anything to do with that - he had more than enough to support himself.. she spent it all... we are not going to pay for his or her care out of our own money. That would mean she would be basically taking/'stealing' money from us now too.
Just honestly don't know what to do next other than wait... :(
Thank you all for your help - just don't know what to do.. so frustrating..
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Hi, i wrote a similar question back in 2011 about a lady praying on my Father in law.
We were in england at the time i first wrote about it but since we moved back to florida things quickly esculated.
We think we know have a federal case instead of formally been told it was civil, so i say dont wait.... This women has drained everything he and his parents worked hard for and she has done nothing.
Shes bought 3 homes and bought land to a total of 1 million dollars and is currently having 2 homes built on more land she bought with his money.
I hope i can nail this evil nasty waste of a life and give her what she deserves for putting my family through hell for the past 12 years. DONT WAIT :)
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If she truly is bipolar, then it might be that she actually is not capable of being POA. Regardless how hard a clinically bipolar person tries to stay mentally healthy, it sometimes happens that their system changes and, thus, their medications are no longer properly balanced. She might not actually be in-balance with her medications, right now, or possibly when they did the POA, so that is something to pursue. He might or might not have been mentally capable of signing the POA when he did, but she might not be or have been mentally capable of executing it.

And, as for being dishonorable, if she's not balanced on her medications, there isn't much point of discussing what's right or wrong, necessarily, as the bipolar who are out of balance with their medications aren't seeing the world the same way other people do.

Another sign is paranoia. If you rethink her actions and think that paranoia is behind many of her actions, that's another reason to think she's having issues and possible not capable of executing the POA.
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