I have a brother with mental health issues that interfers with the care of my 86 year old mother who suffers from cancer, dementia and chronic pain. He blocks a vehicle in used to get her groceries, bring her to the doctor and other health care related places. He refuses to help her get out of bed or assist with her care. I am an unemployed 24X7 caregiver with financial challenges yet he works and refuses to assist with utility bills. I have Power of Attorney but would that help remove him from the property if she wants him around? I have been thinking about adult protective services but only to make them aware that I am leaving and giving up my responsibility because my contact with them in the past has not resoved this problem and I am burned out. Please let me know your opinion.

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Thanks for the last comments regarding the care of my mother. Moving on has been on my mind for a long time. After eight years of care I feel that I have fulfilled my responsibility however I would like to do this responsibly by letting a relative and adult protective know what my intentions are before leaving.
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I am very sorry for your brother with mental illness. That is certainly something no one asks for! And terribly sorry for the many serious illnesses your mother has. She didn't sign up for them, either.

And I am surely sorry that their misfortunes have become such a burden for you. You deserve a chance at a happy, productive, and meaningful life and old age too! In my opinion it is time for you to step away. I applaud you for wanting to notify APS. I know you have been caring for your mother in love, and you don't want anything bad to happen to her. But you are unable to overcome the obstacles here no matter how much you love her (and perhaps love your brother, too). It is more than you should be expected to handle.

You need to get back into the workforce and start supporting yourself and paying into SS for your own old age. Lord knows you have been WORKING taking care of Mother, but you haven't been getting paid. That has to stop. Needing to earn money is no reflection of how much love your have for your family. It is a basic reality.

I've taken more words to come to the same point Pam reached quickly: Move on, go, leave. (But please notify APS first.)

And I am not suggesting you abandon your family. Just give up responsibility for them. After a transitional period I hope you can visit and call and write to your mother (and brother?) often. But stop sacrificing your own life, especially when there are too many obstacles to providing the care you'd like to provide.
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Pardon me for asking, but do you have a driver's license?
POA only allows you to carry out her wishes, not go against them.
She is the one to ask him to pay utility bills, does she? Probably not.
If they are both working against you, I would move on, go, leave.
Save yourself first.
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