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My mom had some type of CVA on Thanksgiving that left her not mentally sound. The problem is she had a POA back in 2004. Some woman in another state was given that responsibility. When mom got ill, the woman went out of control taking everything of value out of the house by using people that mother has known for ages to help. Mother had a day of clarity when I was up in her room crying so upset because I had been kept from her for the first 7 days of mom being in the hospital because of this witch. I told mom what had happened that all of her things were gone. Mom told me that she would take care of it. She will be 90 this year. How on earth she was able to get ahold of another person & her attorney and have a new POA made up getting rid of the woman who had POA to begin with is beyond me! Now, supposedly the new person has POA, HIPAA and medical POA. I am livid! I am the ONLY child and ONLY RELATIVE. (minus her sister who is almost as old is she is that lives in another state.) My husband and I along with my attorney were stalemated the entire time by everyone involved with the original person who had POA. NO ONE was allowed to see the paperwork. Including me. I am beyond hurt and very ticked off! What I need is to get a copy of the old POA as I am starting a suit against everyone that took this woman's word she had POA, hospital, nurses, docs, and the security guard who kept escorting me out. I was kept out of my mother's house despite being called by the alarm company one night because that woman told the cops that showed up she had POA. We tried getting a look at the paperwork then but the cops would not help. Now, I am back to being old nothing about mother until after the fact. I.E. where she was placed at for the nursing home, the extended facility she was moved to prior, etc. I am back to I am on a need to know basis about my mother and I do not need to know apparently. No one has taken into count how I feel about this. I have been the one taking care of her on and off for years. When she needed it. I am absolutely livid that I have no voice about her care, etc. I have the paperwork for conservatorship, guardianship. Her attorney today, refused to give up the old copy and told us to get a court order. That no one has to show POA unless doing business even if we are contesting it. Is this right? Tomorrow we are headed to see JAG (husband is in the military) before his doctor's appointment. Is there anything we should know when we go to talk to JAG? We cannot afford a private attorney at all. And got our paperwork from legal aid in the county she resides in. How is it all of these people were able to get away with taking that woman's word for it that she had POA and did what she told them to do? Because from my perspective, how would you like it if I walked into your mother's life and said I have POA over her and her assets and you who took care of her has no voice legally about what I did with her and her things? Especially if you are the only child/relative and only heir?

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I too am in a similar position with my Mom, under duress, she gave DPOA to one of her care-takers who by the way, has a criminal record. She has taken many assets dor herself and is very mean. She will not let Mom answer the phone, she will not let me speak to her at all & constantly says she is IN CHARGE & doesn't have to let me speak with her or tell me how she is doing medically, she swears at me & threatens to chg. phone # to an unlisted, to prevent me from calling my own mother. She must feel deserted by me, since I've called her daily for many yrs. I miss her so much & wonder just what kind of care she's getting by this nasty person. I do not have the finances for a lawyer & need help desperatelu so I can speak with & see my Mom before ot's too late. I am so heartbroken & livid.
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I am Heart-broken! I gave my son POA when dx with colon cancer in 09. I gave them $5000.00 in case something happened to me in surgery. I have COPD and need many medicines. I have not had the ones I need since Oct of 1212. I barely get by over 2 hours without the rescue inhaler and won't be able to afford it anymore.
They also took my wedding set and other heirlooms (for safe keeping) while I was in surgery and treatments.
I did ask for my money back almost 3 years ago and they just taunted me?? Now they say they are keeping my wedding rings and other belongings?
At present I am broke! (Can't buy bread)
It is hard to believe my own son won't give me MY money so I can get my medicine! (TRUST nO-ONE)
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onlyoneholly, we share similar stories except the perp in mom's life was a caregiver from an agency, no less. The result of this long story was I got disowned, POA revoked, my name taken off the bank acct, the caregiver was named in the will but not me (it was like I never existed on this earth), legal problems at the wazoo and 2 years after my moms death, I've yet to be told by my sister that "our" mother died. Oh yes, I've asked that same question over and over and over again.
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Same train of thought, but more the "wonder why" side of this. I wonder why some folks think it's ok to prey on/con folks who appear to need assistance, whatever their age. My disabled adult daughter has been through this -- conned by those who sweet-talked her for assets, but left me to clean up when the "$**T hit the fan. My parent is as gullible. She loves to have attention (says she didn't get enough attention during the Depression years) and it just galls me that she prefers the person who she thinks the sun rises and sets on, brings her flowers and candy (which I'm sure she writes off as business exp.) and both items make my mother sick, but who hears the downside? Me, I hear about how the flowers trigger a sinus infection, or the candy makes her vomit and how miserable she is. She won't tell this woman, who by the way, is also bringing her alcohol even though my mother is not supposed to have it. This woman is my mother's accountant and says she does these things because she "has a soft spot for older women because they remind her of her g'ma." This woman does not get the odd hours emergency phone calls, I do. She does not come out and roll up her sleeves and crawl under my mother's nightstand to find the partial-denture that my mother "lost" and was freaking out about a new one for a thousand dollars. Plus all the S**! that I had to clean out under the nightstand, under the bed, around the house, figure out "lost" papers, and get a walker and lift-chair ordered. No, this woman breezes in "for a little 'ol visit" with a bottle, and chirpily tells my parent about her most recent trip to somewhere fun and lovely. I am different, I like practical things, and my most exciting trip was a camping trip to Niagra Falls, but it's good enough for me. I'm just boring but dutiful. One time when I was desperately in pain w/ back issues, I fussed at my parent to stop calling 6-8 times a day because I needed time in my time off to lie down on a heating pad. Yes, I was upset, but this was not reason to attempt changing POA work. It took me 2 years to get all the mess-ups corrected. In that time this other person would "breeze by" for fun, but she was not reliable. She does accounting from her home (certified yes, but I don't think she works hard) and almost missed getting paperwork in because she was going "on a trip." The woman does not understand much of what I convey to her when I try to discuss my mother's financials -- it's getting very worrisome. She just chirps, "oh, she's fine!" No, it's not fine and I worry every day what to do. There is a caregiver agency that provides housekeeping, transportation, and other needs; it's not as if there is no one else in my parent's life. It's just that this person who has messed with the status of POA does not understand "boundaries" and the Care Agency does. This is the summary of my "ponder" why do some folks think they have the right to overstep when it's not right to do so?
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Ours county is the depart of aging and on our website there is a link that says abuse. That is where i went to submit a claim online and they phoned me within a day and set up my case with a caseworker. She was in my home and interviewed my dad within a week.
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POA and filing in courthouse depends on the state IF it is legally required. My mom is in TX and not required to be filed.

Army - this is interesting for me as my mom is in a NH with a huge military group. (She is not military but my dad was Air force civilian GS-15/17 back from the 1950' - 1960's & in speaking with other NH residents family members quite a few have non-family as POA because of the uncertainty of military moves.) JAG should be able to give you a list of civilian attorneys for you to contact to start the paperwork for being your mom's conservator or guardian. At this point, probably filing for conservator is your best option to trump the old POA's. What will likely happen when do you the petition to the court, is that the probate judge (where these are usually heard) will usually place the person (mom) as a temporary ward of the state. A court appointed guardian will be named and they are bonded, etc and do this all the time and understand the legal process. Now the temporary is maybe 3 -4 months in which both you and the old POA have to submit information to the court along with the temporary guardian and then the judge makes a determination. It is critically important that you respond to whatever in a timely manner (I'd mail whatever via USPO with return registered card), show up for court docket, etc. My guess is that the POA won't and this will be in your favor.
It is time consuming but really it will solve the problem, case closed.
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Chimonger -- 2 of your statements, while long, had some very good thoughts about this subject. Emotions can boil over -- it's good to put on paper the "hurts and misunderstandings." A journal helps with "boil-overs" of emotion rather than saying or writing hurtful thoughts to the person(s) who've irritated you. Also, document the "facts" -- the legal, substantiated with witnesses or documents -- with irrefutable proofs. Then, yes, talk to Agency on Aging or similar in that area. Elder law attorneys are helpful AFTER you've sorted the emotions and facts into one talking-paper you could cover in an hour's meeting. I've let emotion rule the timeclock on a meeting and it mainly just allowed me to vent, but on "my nickel."
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Obviously your mother chose this other person 9 years ago to be her power of attorney, HIPAA, and medical power of attorney. If she had wanted for you to have it, she would have given it to you and I wonder just why she did. Maybe we are not hearing the whole story here. At any rate, her lawyer has the papers and any place she receives care would have had to have a copy but they cannot legally show it to you or anyone else not listed on the papers. Since she did this almost a decade ago, why are you just finding out now and being so wound up about it? Is it that you think she might die soon and you wanted to get a hand in the pie? I have found, sadly, that this is the case many times. Why not just respect her decision?
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Not intending to sound harsh, ArmyWife: you'll have to get ahold of yourself--that is, your emotions, to make good progress.

Was the 2nd POA appointed by court?
Kinda sounded like it.
When that's done, it's fairly common to block any and all others from doing anything with or to the estate in question.
Once a court-appointed POA is in place, they will handle everything.
That the 2nd one got some stuff put back in Mom's house, is evidence of that, maybe.

Questions:
What do you really, really want?
==Restitution?
What does that look like to you?
Would it heal or change the past?
==Retribution?
What would that really get you?
Would it heal or change the past?
==A different life?
What might that have looked like?
Could you start doing any of that now, as an adult who knows better?
==How much of what you really want from this, is realistically achievable,
without doing yourself further harm??

I agree---and with compassionate understanding, how a person can get slammed very off-balance, emotionally, related to what you describe.
No one can "deck us" as painfully as our parents/family!!!

You WILL need to be able to state your case calmly to a lawyer,
==without expressing emotion==.
As Joe Friday used to say on one of those ancient cop shows:
"Just the Facts, Ma'am!!"
It is helpful for you to write down what the facts currently are, as "one-liners", like a shopping list.
Putting it on paper, really helps see it clearer.

It is important to consider a few things, often forgotten
[which we all go through, too]:
==Our parents did as they knew how, at the time they had to deal with things.
==They were hobbled by past experiences and limited knowledge.
==They accumulated their estates, most on their own, and have no obligation to gift any of it to their kids....[unfortunately for us].
==Their stuff was never our stuff [things]:
if they choose to gift anything to us, great; if not,
we are left having to reconcile with that concept,
and carry on--carrying that hurt just makes it worse.
==Their stuff was not our stuff [behaviors]--relative to the emotionally delivered garbage--either.

Cues in your posts make it seem as though one or more of your parent persons, had some emotional and/or mental issues.
Those make things even tougher.

When you sit quietly, and consider what is on your plate with this,
You must careful to look for various perspectives, considering the above.
A lawyer will have a hard time helping you, if you are fuming mad, and/or if there's inadequate evidence supporting your case to get access or restitution.

Bottom lines include,
==parent[s] are only ever required to feed, clothe, shelter, get us necessary medical care, and basic education, to get us to adulthood and able to be out on our own.
The sad part is, so many do it in painful ways on so many levels--but that was all they knew how to do at the time.
They are not gonna suddenly change and be the parents we yearned for, EVER.
It's all Lessons!

MANY adult children have simply had to "let it go", and bless their parents on their way.
"I wish you well" is a great response to many verbals they can dish out, and can be used in many circumstances.
It is positive, neutral, and cannot be misinterpreted.
Highly recommended, a tiny book called "The Four Agreements".

My Mom has had Bipolar and Dissociative Disorder behaviors all her life, and was impaired by having been abused in childhood--It affected almost everything she did for us and to us.
My Dad was an only child, who was sent off to boarding school by busy parents, not really nurtured by them so much--yet he was pretty good at nurturing, and wonderful at hugging--but he couldn't make up for Mom, nor could he prevent his 2nd wife behaving snipishly.
My Stepmom , also an only child, had, as far as I know, a decent childhood, but a very stiff view of how things should be..
Parent-0persons and Grandparent persons were known for pointing fingers, assuming, blaming, and acting upon things they had inadequate information about.
Among them, each thought I was being taken care of by the other, etc. etc.
Some thot that because they'd given an extra amount to help pay for a self-help boarding school in childhood [which got me away from all their homes], that they need not give anything else.
One parent believes she has "given so much" to me, but that only meant she'd paid back a sum of money I'd sent her for years, supporting her, and given a few gifts which she later took back.

Did they do things or tell me things to help me feel like part of any of their households? Not so much.
Did all their behaviors affect my choices?
You bet--for instance, I eloped, rather than risk having all of them in one room at a wedding for me, and, felt if I had a wedding, it meant less or no money for my next sister's wedding.
I have spent this life keeping my distance from them, largely because it helps protect myself from their behaviors.
I could have chosen to keep closer to them, but at what cost?
Was I willing to pay that price, or was the price greater than any rewards?

Do they still run their mouths and act out? YES they do!
Mom more recently lived under our roof 6 years, and it was increasing hell the whole time. I literally felt I was about to die, if she had not moved out when she did--I couldn't have managed one more day.

Only you can choose to help yourself, in how you perceive their behaviors, and how you feel about how they behave, and what you chose.
Assess the risk: benefit ratio to see if what you seek, is worth the price paid to get it--"price" includes emotional and physical trauma, dollars spent, friction, etc.--all costs involved.

Feeling deeply hurt and angry at her words and choices, means you are "reacting without thinking"--a kind of "knee-jerk" reaction, which lets her know she is still in control on some levels--a great boon for how she feels, but very hard on you!
==Learning to think first, seeing her words and actions in a different perspective, helps you put at least a mental distance between what she's saying/doing,
and your feelings, which can help prevent your feeling so hurt and angry at her words/actions.
It sounds like she's done it for a lifetime--that's about her, not you.
You can refuse to take on her baggage, and refuse to allow her to jerk you about emotionally.
YEah, it might mean walking away from some things,
but, then, what price have you been paying, thinking you can change her, change anyone else, or get any of the parent-persons to be what they cannot be?

You've probly heard that saying: "Don't take it personally"?
That is real important.
When an elder [or anyone] does rotten things, it's not about you, it is about themselves.
It's complicated, but that's a nugget of it.

Since this emotional roller coaster has been going on for many years,
I highly recommend Counseling by a licensed Counselor,
maybe one who can help you with things like EMDR, Cognitive Therapy, etc.
Getting professional help to sort things out, and learn how to heal your life, is a huge help.
IF you do not seem to make progress with one, find another.
If you have financial hardship, ask if you can have a reduced rate, make a trade, or do sessions as you are able.

You can try this below, for free:
Get out paper and pen, or use the computer to write a document.
Start writing all your memories/feelings episodes from when you were ages 0 to 10, 10 to 20, 20 to 30, etc.
It might not be exactly dated right--memories and feelings often do not link to dates, they might link to a grade in school, or a year, etc.
As you write things down, it will lead to other memories.
It is about you.
It's your life story [a synopsis], from your perspective.
Once done, there are other things you can do, ==but this is a start.
Once written, you can go over it, and might remember more things to insert,
or, when you read what's written, you might suddenly see other perspectives/how to see things.
Be your own best observer.
It is also a great document to share with a Counselor, to possibly move faster at sorting out your feelings when in sessions.

If you are still military, or if retired, or a spouse of a retired military,
VA medical has counseling, and some areas are blessed with very good counseling--the VA CBOC in Chehalis, WA, for instance, is really good.
They not only have support groups and individual counseling for vets,
but also support groups for spouses
[yeah, the starting diagnosis is PTSD, but it also umbrellas other related issues after getting into groups].
It's been a Godsend for us....it's only taken over 40 years to find it, and that the rules and resources improved!
Better late than never!

The 1st POA sounds to have committed some major criminal activity--but has to be caught at it, or otherwise prosecuted.
It sounds like it's all in the hands of the 2nd POA now.

While the JAG office may tell you they cannot help, they might--it takes getting in contact with the right person, one who has more knowledge of what's available to help you....and yeah, it kinda is in the lap of Elder Care advocates.

Things WILL work out.
The waiting and struggling is the hardest part.
Allow yourself some space to heal, and put things in different perspectives, and be persistent looking for helps you need to handle this.
Love yourself, be kind to you, because those who should have, couldn't.

{{hugs!}}
Chi
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I am simply astounded by how much corruption occurs with seniors. It seems like if other family members aren't attempting to grab their money, it is the lawyers and if not them it is the government. It is especially difficult to think how much legal power lawyers have.
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Call the police. Fraud, theft, taking advantage of the elderly. The police have handled this situation b4. Call the State's Attorney's office in your state and you mother's state as they may have a department that handles senior fraud issues. Has this woman done this to other elderly people??? You don't know her name may be on file somewhere being a confidence person and praying on the elderly.
Call the tv stations and newspapers in your area. They may have some helpful ideas or resources for you too. Raise hell!! The more people who know about this situation and what has and is going on the better. Your situation may spark a reporter to do an investigative report as most people are unclear about the power of a POA and its uses and abuses. If something fraudulent has gone on thieves don't like anyone looking into the matter. Call your U.S. Senator too as they have staff to handle constituent problems. Sometimes a letter from a U.S. Senator rattles someone's cage and things "suddenly" change.
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Just an FYI, we all know you are upset and with good reason, But I have to tell you that you do need to calm down a little if an attny is going to take you seriously. Sorry but it sounds like you are out of control with anger. Take a deep breath and start to write down all the things that have happened and why you now want to be her POA, And honestly if she is still yelling at you know are you sure you want to be her POA? From my experience It's not going to get better, but more demanding, Are you sure you have that much time and most of all energy? Please don't get mad its just this is the kind of thing my husband deals with daily as he is a Public Guardian. Good luck!! Oh, just wondering and maybe I missed it, but why were you not given the POA in the beginning?
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I called the Dept. of Aging, no dice any time soon. Next time for me to call to talk to an attorney will be Monday, all appointments have been filled for this week. I went up to see her today. OMG! She is back to close to her former self. Grr! And complaining loudly about everything! She was even getting after her nurse whom has been at her beckoned call since she got on duty this am. sigh I came in while they were doing an ABG (arterial blood gas) with my husband. She was sitting up and had attitude. No hi or anything. Just complaining. I hate how she just gets to me. Gets me all upset like last night thinking she is dying only to have her spring back and be in witch mode. This has happened twice now. And to whomever it was that talked to me about her being mad at me and switching it when she was mad is dead on. Like I was saying at some point, I drove down to FL to go see my biological mother. Mother was livid that I would betray her like that and go see this woman plus, I had written her a letter prior telling her why I was going and she needed to see she was wrong for not telling me I was adopted long before I was 35 years old. She has NEVER accepted her wrongness for anything. She either cries or gets ticked off and sent me to my room/away while yelling at me not to talk to her like that. Then she would go to the extreme of how she obviously screwed up everything she ever did to me... blah blah blah. NO ONE ever saw that side of her. Everyone got to see her "showtiming" for decades. No one could understand why I had such a problem with this sweet little old lady who never did anything wrong to anyone. I was a hurtful child in my later years, I did not respect her and exaggerated or flat out lied about her. Right. Now, people are starting to see the real her. Including her POA. What upsets me is that I really have no voice in all of this. Due to her idiocy on choosing her POA. The original POA was revoked. By using three attorneys cover the main one's butt to get it done. She also redid her will which once again I just found out about. She never tells me anything. I get to hear it second hand and it just infuriates me that everyone else knows everything about her but I am clueless. Her original POA would tell people that she told me what was going on with mother but that %^*$% lied! I never heard a word. In fact, I was the one to call her and tell her to get her butt up here to do her job. Which is when she had taken out everything out of the home. The current POA is better, still not perfect as he does not tell me anything unless I ask or he thinks it is important. sigh JAG cannot/will not help me because I am not their soldier. And family is nothing to them so it seems. (Not even going there.) They tell us we need to talk to someone in Elder Care. Many of her belongings have returned to her home due to this new POA, but I am not allowed inside to catalog everything that is still missing. And NO, the POA was not on file at the courthouse. Normally they are. But for some reason, it was not to be found. I would so love to suit that first POA.. I cannot until I get that paper! That woman lives in GA of all places. Her new POA lives a mile and a half from mom. The first POA had taken out a debit card and started up online banking along with taking out everything of value in the house. It has been crazy having to idly sit back and watch all of this happen and am not allowed to do anything. I am very angry.
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Dept. of Aging? Is that same as Area Agency on Aging?
As far as I know, only a Doctor can determine if a person is legally unable to sign legal paperwork.
BUT, Area Agency on Aging, DOES have lawyers who donate time to help elders with legal matters--it that something they really can do?
Wish I'd know that long ago!
Thanks!
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Also the dept of aging will speak with your mom and make a determination as to whether her mental capacity is lucid to change her POA. This worked for us as my sibling was trying to say my dad was suffering from alzheimers and could not make a valid choice to change his POA . Well sibling was wrong and dad was able to get rid of my sister as his POA and get all his money back.
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Wow--wish we'd known about "fiduciary elder abuse" years ago!
Maybe we could have done something about Gma's estate using that.
I dunno, though...that codicil stipulating that anyone contesting her will results in the whole thing going to the Boy Scouts, was pretty tightly wound.
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Always, kid[s] need to look carefully at self...
WAS there any time Mom may have been ticked off enough, or sick enough, to make it easier for her to choose or allow, POA to a non-family member?
IT is helpful to find any documents or affidavits that can support that...especially if she was "frail" or "easily lead", and there were other witnesses of her weaknesses, BEFORE the POA was made out to a non-family member.

IF there were family arguments, such that Mom may have been irritated enough, fragile or not, to give POA to someone else, and there is any data to show that, like old letters? That might support the person who has the POA.

YES, check County records.
POAs, Wills, etc. -supervised/guided by a lawyer in their making-,
USUALLY get notarized and filed and are on record.
Hospital records are a bit different, and need a court order to divulge.
Your lawyer should be able to subpoena records that have been withheld, be they POA's, WIlls, or medical records.

Records Mom wrote in her own handwriting, may only have been kept in a safe place, not filed with County. Handwritten instruments are NOT notarized, and are legal, as long as entire thing is in her handwriting, and that can be proved.

In any case, the person claiming to have POA, MUST produce that POA at certain junctures and events--it cannot only be on the person's "say-so".
Cops checking on Mom's estate, for instance, are supposed to actually SEE a POA, not just take the woman's word for it.
IF they failed to see it, failed to verify it was as described, when presented, they goofed, too. So might the hospital, unless their in-house workers got her to sign papers while in hospital or nursing home.

IF you can move Mom away from the 1st POA,
and she is lucid enough to do it,
you can take her to a lawyer, have NEW POA/Will, etc. made, and signed by Mom, on the spot.
THESE new documents supersede old ones but cannot repair damages / losses from the old ones.
Otherwise, the old ones stand.
IF mom must stay where she is, you need legal help to handle things for you--it's a big job, and can be intimidating.

Personal experience:
When Gma was old, frail & vulnerable, related to illnesses, her brother in law, dying of cancer himself, took her by the hand to a new lawyer he chose, & led her verbally into making a new will, which favored him & her sister--the sister denied she was interested in it, to both Gma & other family members.
Gma had made her will exactly as she wanted it, while perfectly sane & lucid.
Others knew how it was arranged, & were happy with it.
Except that brother in law, who was angry he'd not been left the whole thing.

The brother in law got it changed; the changes were NOT what Gma wanted, but was easily coerced/conned into making at that time.
She was barely capable of signing her name, & certainly didn't understand the changes that were made,
BUT, no Doc, at that time, had noted in her chart that she was not able to sign legal papers anymore....

While we knew Gma was "fragile",
Dad [only child] refused to do anything about it [not that he could have], believing things would work out OK, and "not wanting to appear greedy"--but then, he was also by that time, not exactly as sharp-minded as he should have been....yeah, we were all kinda dumb-founded!
He could have done the same thing the brother in law had done, but, he didn't want to lower himself to that level. He had no idea the mess it would be when she died.

The new arrangement also made that crooked lawyer her Executor, & gave POA to the brother in law.
When the crooked lawyer died, he'd left all the "plum" estates he'd set up, not only for Gma, but others, to his lawyer son, who'd helped him in his business.

Family members, even far cousins, were furious at this one member....but none could find any way to do anything....
Because: the crooked lawyer had built in a diabolically tight rule:
==If any family member even hinted at contesting the will or the POA,
the entire estate would immediately be turned over to the Boy Scouts of America.
[[while Gma didn't hate that group, it was definitely not on her list of places to donate to in life, nor would she ever have given any of her hard-earned estate to them--they were not mentioned in her original will, nor had she given to them during her life]]

The new will called for liquidation of her considerable assets [against her original wishes], and gave a large portion to the brother in law and sister.
It meant the house & contents failed to stay in the family: she'd specifically wanted Dad to have all that, & the lion's share of her accounts, and she had arranged for her 3 grandchildren to inherit a tidy sum each]

The ONLY part left intact, ONLY because it had already been done, was the transfer of her lucrative business to her long-time co-workers [which really ticked off the brother in law, but we were all thrilled had been done!].
It allowed a small monthly stipend to Dad and his wife while Dad lived,
but after Dad died, specified a bit larger monthly stipend to Dad's wife alone [we never could figure this out],
--with a limiting cut-off date.
It gave a token $1000 check to each of 3 grandchildren---again, not what Gma had wanted.

It took around 20 years for Dad's wife to finally catch-out the crooked lawyer & his son [also a lawyer], who took over all his carefully arranged "plum" estates:
they had perpetually resisted filing proper tax papers.
She reported them to the CA State Bar Assoc.,
filed complaints based on the "improper paperwork".
THAT was their partial undoing.

By that time, though, the original crooked lawyer, the brother in law, and the sister, had all died.
Dad's wife FINALLY got control of the estate, unable to change it to get anything more, but at least to be the Executor.
AS Executor, she was able to get paid a little bit, for managing the estate.
The crooked lawyer's crooked son, lost control of at least Gma's estate, and likely others--I do not know if he lost his license, but we all sure hoped so!!!

Sorry--long story to get to point:

Your Mom may have been being more "easily lead", for longer than you realize.
Someone may have managed to convince her to give them POA because it was locally convenient, perhaps, OR took advantage of Mom's temper in a moment of her verbalizing how she was angry at her kid, & may have taken her to do a POA in that very moment
[yes, people ARE that crooked!].
Once done, ANYthing can happen to the estate.

You need good legal help.
I sure hope you find someone who can fix this mess.
You may never see recompense for lost portions of her estate, though.
But, it might be possible to make sure that person never does this to others.

Keep us posted!
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Call you local area of aging elder care and tell them your story. This person who is POA can be charged with fiduciary elder abuse. This is not cost to you and they will investigate on your mom's behalf. PLEASE CALL TODAY!
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I know when my mom revoked the POA she had given my son and me, she had to file it with the court. After that hateful act, I didn't care who she honored with the duty but I'm sure it was filed and available to view.
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If this lady was indeed pointed POA I would think it would be filed with the courts in the county which she lives. Try there to get a copy. You can go before a judge and make your voice heard. Good luck!
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Keep me in the loop on this one. I've got a similar situation. I think this "friend" of my mother's convinced her that my being a military spouse at that time meant that I would not be reliable to be there for my mother. We are now retired from the military so this should not be a concern any longer. This "friend" of my mother lives closer to her than I do; she's claimed that she knows what's better for my mother than I do. I've not taken this to a legal fight yet but have considered it.
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AnArmyWife, It just goes to show you how many people can be "MANIPULATED" by covertness! I don't have any answers for you but, am sending you a hug!! I sure hope JAG can steer you in the right direction! Stay strong , as they say,..... good always prevails!!! I'm pullin for you.......Good Luck and Godbless
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AnArmyWife, I'm just curious and forgive me for asking...back in 2004 did you know this other person was your mom's POA? Do you know her? Why has your mom never made you POA? Im confused and trying to fit the pieces together. This certainly is a huge mess. I don't blame you for being livid, I'm hacked off for you.
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You say you cannot afford a private attorney. Go see the JAG officer and then go talk to your local Office of the Aging. They might be able to put you in touch with an attorney who can help you.

This situation is remarkable. My blood is boiling just reading it and I will be praying that you can get this resolved.
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