My mom says the same things over and over and over and over. I also have to tell her things over and over and over. I know she can’t help it but I’m so done. Exhausted. Is there anything can do to curb this behavior?
This is a trait of the elder population. They don't realize that they're repeating the same story many times over. It takes patience, but you can have it, because at some point you will miss it. Matching socks IS a good redirection.
A good friend of mine has her dad assist her with simple tasks. His favorite is ripping up paperwork that is no longer needed. Have you tried redirecting your mom by changing the subject or involving her in activity you or doing or need done? Something that she can manage.
Children - that is where many of our parents are. They cannot help that they cannot remember. Try answering each time with a smile - it changes the tone of your voice. I know you are exhausted, I've been there too. I have written the answer to the common questions I'm asked and I write it down large enough and simply enough for them. Then if you are folding clothes, in the restroom etc. they have it. It doesn't mean they will always use it, but it is like a placebo (and works sometimes). Play a game and see how many ways you can answer the question but in a different way. I often remind myself to: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Know you are not alone as you travel down this road in your life right now. I teach a ladies Bible class and we all have challenges and problems. Relate your problem to an elephant. Now...how do you eat this elephant? A bite at a time. When your elephant turns into a herd.....you still eat this elephant one bite at a time, bite by bite. I even made me a red heart and put an elephant inside the heart and it is on my refrigerator. Just a reminder...do what you can....when you can....a bite at a time. Take deep breaths and remember the good times.
Use this tool and continue to reach out for others to help you. Blessings!
I have Mom put together socks. I have my children bring over their socks too. The diversity of colors, sizes and many times the Great Grandchildren love to help. Gives me time to do other things. Sometime I take apart the whole drawer to last longer. She feels so needed.
Hi. Mom is now 8 yrs into her Alz journey. I found it very tiring her repeating her questions. I would ask her a question that would make her have to think for a moment. This worked many times. Hope this helps.
I Love 97yroldmom's answer! Not sure it'll work for me, but I'm going to try it.
There's no way to curb that behavior. It's like their brain is stuck, and they don't know it.
I've had good luck by changing the subject to something totally different. Sometimes they'll forget all about what they're stuck on once onto something different., and then sometimes they'll be back on it .. and I change the subject again.
97yroldmom is spot on .. watch out for you as caregivers often do die first. We neglect ourselves.
Hi JJ you are in a tough situation with your parents and dh. I am sorry. About the repetition. This might be easier for you than your dad but try to distance your emotional energy a bit. Think of the repetition as you would a stuck record that needs a little help moving on. Try to divert her attention to help her “let go” of the repetitive question. Mom “where are you going?” You “to the kitchen” Mom “where are you going” You “to Kalamazoo, you know Kalamazoo choo choo”. Then a nice “choo choo” or two. Then “let’s see if The Price is Right is On”. In the morning when I help my aunt with her ADLs, she’ll ask “ Who is coming?” If I said no one it would be a non starter. So I say something silly like “ The King of Siam”. “Which ball gown shall we wear?” Think of it as setting the mood. These kind of silly things work with my aunt and keep things light. They wouldn’t work with everyone. You have to experiment a bit to move her off of that repetitive loop in her brain. I really encourage you to look up Teepa Snow on YouTube. She is great with conversation tips with dementia patients. I encourage you to really watch out for you and your dad. Caregivers often die before the person they are caring for. Call your County Area Agency on Aging and see what services might be available for you and your dad. It might not be the best time right now with the virus. Come here for support. We will do our best to help you.
Know you are not alone as you travel down this road in your life right now. I teach a ladies Bible class and we all have challenges and problems. Relate your problem to an elephant. Now...how do you eat this elephant? A bite at a time. When your elephant turns into a herd.....you still eat this elephant one bite at a time, bite by bite. I even made me a red heart and put an elephant inside the heart and it is on my refrigerator. Just a reminder...do what you can....when you can....a bite at a time. Take deep breaths and remember the good times.
Use this tool and continue to reach out for others to help you. Blessings!
There's no way to curb that behavior. It's like their brain is stuck, and they don't know it.
I've had good luck by changing the subject to something totally different. Sometimes they'll forget all about what they're stuck on once onto something different., and then sometimes they'll be back on it .. and I change the subject again.
97yroldmom is spot on .. watch out for you as caregivers often do die first. We neglect ourselves.
you are in a tough situation with your parents and dh.
I am sorry.
About the repetition. This might be easier for you than your dad but try to distance your emotional energy a bit. Think of the repetition as you would a stuck record that needs a little help moving on.
Try to divert her attention to help her “let go” of the repetitive question.
Mom “where are you going?”
You “to the kitchen”
Mom “where are you going”
You “to Kalamazoo, you know Kalamazoo choo choo”. Then a nice “choo choo” or two. Then “let’s see if The Price is Right is On”.
In the morning when I help my aunt with her ADLs, she’ll ask “ Who is coming?” If I said no one it would be a non starter. So I say something silly like “ The King of Siam”. “Which ball gown shall we wear?” Think of it as setting the mood. These kind of silly things work with my aunt and keep things light. They wouldn’t work with everyone. You have to experiment a bit to move her off of that repetitive loop in her brain.
I really encourage you to look up Teepa Snow on YouTube. She is great with conversation tips with dementia patients.
I encourage you to really watch out for you and your dad. Caregivers often die before the person they are caring for. Call your County Area Agency on Aging and see what services might be available for you and your dad. It might not be the best time right now with the virus. Come here for support. We will do our best to help you.