What advice does anyone have for dealing with a person with Alzheimer’s who keeps asking the same question. For example, “Where are we going tomorrow?” You tell him. Five minutes later, the same question. Five minutes later repeat. I’m going nuts!
I hear you! We play this game at my house every day too. It is annoying, but we know they can't help and would not do it if they could help it. Sometimes, I just have to wonder though - did you even listen to my answer??? I guess, to entertain ourselves, we could give different answers each time. The zoo! To the doctor. To the moon!
So really the only thing to do is to expect it and not get upset by it. I have told my sister who only sees our mom every month or so for a few days to "expect the conversation to be BORING". It is so boring. And my mom even adds to the fun by not even responding at all half the time when I force myself to be a bit chatty. It's like talking to a wall! Oh well.
Answer the question a couple of times then do not answer it again. Do not even acknowledge the question. This is the only way to break a dementia loop. Answering the same thing over and over and over will only continue the repetitious loop. Ignore the subject of the loop and the person will stop asking after it.
Every time Mom asks the question I just answered, I remember that, to her, she's asking for the first time. It's my joy to be able to talk to my mama, for whatever time we have left together, and it doesn't matter to me what the subject is... so I answer her every time like it's the first time. She's happy. I'm happy. Win-win.
if notes work for you a Dry erase board with the week’s schedule might be a good idea. You can then say..”check the calendar and let me know”. Written notes or talking would not have worked for me as my Husband was non verbal but as his dementia progresses I don’t know if he could read or not. I have friends that did not mention appointments until the day of just to avoid the constant questions. They would say in the morning “we have to leave at 10:30” and then work to get their loved one ready to go by the time they had to leave. If notes do not work, you just have to get used to it, try changing the subject or giving them something to do to occupy their time
First of all, I can totally relate. My mother who is 75 with Alzheimer’s lives with my family in my home. She asks me where I’m going at least 10 times a day and I tell her and then right when I’m about to leave she asks me again. Then she’ll go out to the car and ask me again. It’s beyond frustrating. I’ve gotten to the point where sometimes I will record myself giving an answer and then I will play her the recording and her reaction to it just so she is understanding that she’s asked this question before. Sometimes that helps sometimes it doesn’t. In a perfect world, I would answer her question calmly all 10 times…. But it’s unrealistic for me to do that.
Just learn to deal with it. He can't help it, there's nothing you can do about it, and sadly, he'll stop asking your anything before long. That's when you'll miss even the most mundane, repetitive conversations.
Try to use the same patience as you did back when your kids were toddlers and asked "Why?" a thousand times a day. :-)
The only way to break a repeating dementia loop is to stop answering the question. Totally ignore the topic of the loop. Talk about anything else. Answer anything else. Ignore the topic the person has become fixated on and keeps asking about.
So really the only thing to do is to expect it and not get upset by it. I have told my sister who only sees our mom every month or so for a few days to "expect the conversation to be BORING". It is so boring. And my mom even adds to the fun by not even responding at all half the time when I force myself to be a bit chatty. It's like talking to a wall! Oh well.
This is the only way to break a dementia loop. Answering the same thing over and over and over will only continue the repetitious loop.
Ignore the subject of the loop and the person will stop asking after it.
Written notes or talking would not have worked for me as my Husband was non verbal but as his dementia progresses I don’t know if he could read or not.
I have friends that did not mention appointments until the day of just to avoid the constant questions. They would say in the morning “we have to leave at 10:30” and then work to get their loved one ready to go by the time they had to leave.
If notes do not work, you just have to get used to it, try changing the subject or giving them something to do to occupy their time
Try to use the same patience as you did back when your kids were toddlers and asked "Why?" a thousand times a day. :-)
The only way to break a repeating dementia loop is to stop answering the question. Totally ignore the topic of the loop. Talk about anything else. Answer anything else. Ignore the topic the person has become fixated on and keeps asking about.