Repeating myself. Is my mother not comprehending, not listening? - AgingCare.com

Repeating myself. Is my mother not comprehending, not listening?

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No matter what I say to my mother, I have to repeat it and it's not her hearing. The other nite she ask me if she could have cake for her bedtime snack since her blood sugar was decent. I said you can, but it will spike your blood sugar and probably drop before morning too low with the insulin you take. You need some protein like milk or protein drink. She started getting upset, mumbling in the kitchen. When I ask what was wrong she said she didn't know what to eat. I said what did I just explain to you, she said you told me I can't have cake. Tonite I told her her grandson did not deposit the money she sent him. Ten seconds later she asked if he deposited the money. I do this all day with her and it is getting to me. She is not comprehending, not listening?????

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My problem is that when it gets to finances. Not Remembering that he took money out of the bank or not remembering if he paid a bill and so on is the largest problem that I have seen.
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Reply to muddie38
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OMG my husband and I spend so much time repeating ourselves to one another, we can't have a normal conversation. Truthfully, we both have some hearing loss, and we just don't listen to each other :)
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Reply to talkey
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My 90-year-old father is looping his questions more and more frequently and truly doesn't seem to pay any attention to my answers. I'll try to keep them shorter - it wasn't that long ago that he could follow an answer but now, not so much. It's just so very wearing to keep saying the same thing eleventy million times. I never had children so it's really hard for me in my 60's to have a child for the first time, especially my dad. I want to scream.
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Reply to altopower
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My dad has been like this for as long as I can remember. It's not dementia. He can repeat back verbatim what I said. It's just dad. In his word's, "he's just making sure". So every time I answer a question from him, I have to repeat it at least 5 times. At least. It got old about 50 years ago.
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Reply to needtowashhair
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Great advise. I had no idea on this. Mom is hard of hearing so I assumed she wasn't hearing but on days when she is cloudy I repeat and repeat. so I will take this advise well.
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Reply to fajenkins
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This is memory loss. It will only get worse until she may not even know who you are so she really needs compassion. A lot of her behavior happens to us as we get older. I would make my answers simple when it comes to something that she wants and suggest substitutions. As her memory progresses she will ask what day it is or time 7 or 8 times a day. You might not remember when you were younger asking Mom over and over can you have someone over or have a treat. We rarely took no for an answer and rearranged our questions as we got older, asking the same question differently. So, Mom needs understanding for her loss of memory. It's frustrating but hang in there.
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Reply to tperri123
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Tell her her grandson hadn't deposited his check was a mute point too. I got to the point stuff like this she didn't need to know. If she asked...just say I'll look it up. I would call though and find out why he hasn't cashed it.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Yes, I had to learn "short answers" with my mom. Otherwise, she got lost in my words. Even with short answers, she'd forget and ask me the same thing five times in five minutes. It will definitely wear on you. But with dementia, our loved ones' brains are broken and they just can't remember or make sense of what we're telling them.
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Reply to blannie
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I agree, short answers, only one thing at a time allow her to process before telling her the next. Remember her memory is compromised but so is her language center. Sometimes a visual cue will help as well.
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Reply to Grammyteacher
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Great advise, Jeanne
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Reply to SueC1957
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