As my husband's polyneuropathy becomes more debilitating, like all caregivers, I'm shouldering more household responsibilities. So far, most are manageable. But, when it involves actual repair and maintenance, my husband expects me to try to tackle those as well. (I'm 12 years younger-72 to his 84 yrs). This summer, he had me digging up sprinkle lines to diagnose where a leak was...then sawing lines and replacing valves! The latest is diagnosing and repairing a water line into the toilet. If I say no, we need to hire someone (not wealthy, but we could hire), he throws a tantrum. Ultimately (so far) I give in. With his guiding me, I do it. I know these situations will only escalate as daily, he loses a little bit more of his motor skills. On several occasions, neighbors have seen me struggling to do something and have come to my rescue...but we can't (shouldn't?) impose. (Recent brain MRI shows he also has mild small vessel ischemic disease.)
Any tips for how to toughen up and stand firm? (The tantrums drive me nuts!) So far, I'm capable of doing these things with his guidance. I mostly think it is unrealistic to expect me to do them as well as assisting with ADLs, doing all the driving, meals, cleaning, lifting..moving...taking apart his scooter and lifting in and out of vehicle.....Where will it end?
Any advice from someone who's been through this already?