My sisters provide very little to no help in the care of my Mother but are quick to judge me and readily discuss how "I am not handling the task well from an emotional perspective". My mom lost vision in one eye and has seriously compromised vision in the other eye. She was a staunchly independent woman but now lives in her own apartment in my home, and my sisters justify their lack of help because they do not live near us. However when they do visit, it is just that a visit- like they are company. If I want them to dust or mop or vacuum, I must ask them to do something, basically a favor to help me out. They will say things like " if you need me to do something, then just ask". Well I don't want to ask because then it is a favor they are doing for me. My point of view is no one needs to ask me - if the house needs to be cleaned - I can see it with my own eyes - and simply do what needs to be done to keep Mom and her apartment clean. I have given up asking them to do anything, they are just so clueless with respect to her needs. Our relationship has deteriorated to the point that I believe when my Mom passes, my relationship with them will be nothing more than just being courteous to each other on the rare occasions I will happen to see them. So sad, we used to all be very close.
I have made many mental notes to myself regarding my own impending old age that I would like to share. I have a ton of resentment and constantly hear their feable excuses about why they cannot help. By the by, both sisters are retired and receiving their SS. As for me, mid 50s, walked away from my career and draining my 401k (with penalties), severely compromised my future security, an no kids to potentially take care of me in old age. How will I get passed this resentment?