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I found out that it's gonna be a few more weeks before Grandma can come live with me. Apparently the director of the ALF didn't receive the notice in the mail about taking Grandma out of there (yeah, sure). This time it was sent certified mail. The family will be following up tomorrow to make sure it was received.

Is it a legal thing about her medications or a financial thing (does the ALF want to make sure they don't lose money on her room?). I don't see what the problem is. She's allowed to go for day visits, so I don't know why she couldn't come "visit" for a month. I thought I'd check here before asking the director.

By the way, it would be impossible for me to bring Grandma home everyday for a few hours. It's just too much, you know? I think it would be too emotionially hard for her anyway.

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You need to check the admission contract you signed when you admitted her into the Assisted Living. That will tell you how many days notice you are required to give, it is usually 7, 14, or 30 days. You can take her out before that time but you would be financially responsible for those days.
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You say "take out" and then "vacation". Like living in an apartment you probably need to give 30days notice. You'd be required to pay the last month even if the move is before. Then, what kind of agreement was signed. Maybe its yearly or upon death? I can't see a problem with a visit if the room is paid for. You don't mention how old GM is. My Mom is fairly easy too but...she still needs help with toileting, bathing, dressing. We have given up being able to just getup and go. When we do get out, its only for a short time because the people watching her are limited in what they r capable of, like my nephew. To hire someone is $10 or more an hour who can deal with toileting. Just for us to go to the movies. If ur GM staying with is permanent u need to think about it. Big thing is will you have family who will be willing to take care of her when you want a day, weekend or vacation. Is money becoming the problem with ur GM. If not, why take her away from a place that is now her home. Elderly don't do well with change. You may not think so now, but you " will" be giving up something. Curious, why u and not one of her children. I never thoughtI would ever consider a nursing home for my Mom but I know with what I do for her now, I won't be able to do anymore than this as she gets worse. I just don't have it physically. See Deentia/Alzheimer patients don't look at their child as getting old. They sometimes see them as young or even as children. I have to remind my Mom she is 88 and I'm 66. No not too old but at 5ft tall I'm limited.
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Mejjy11, I hope you get her out. You clearly understand caregiving. Have you tried getting answers ftom your state's long term care omsbudsman? Does your state have one?
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I wonder how Grandma's nursing home bill is being paid right now? Is she a private paying resident or is there an agency, like Medicaid, paying her bill? If an agency is involved, that may also complicate whether or not she can leave the nursing home, and how much notice must be given. Even if she is privately paying, she is likely on a contract that says one must give 30 days notice prior to leaving, just as if you were moving out of a rental apartment. So, as others have said, as a private pay, she could likely leave whenever she wants to, BUT the rent would not be credited back to her if she gave less than 30 days notice. If she is Medicaid or another agency, like long term care insurance, paying the bill, then one has to also work within their policies.
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Get a writ of habeus corpus?
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I wanted to add a note about any rental agreement and giving notice - more in keeping with actually answering the question asked than I did prior. I know of no law that would limit your ability to remove your grandma from the nh any time you wish - as long as it's not a matter of conflict with a seperate guardian or DPOA. If it's just a matter of the 30-day notice you can take her out at any time but you will have to probably still pay for the time whether grandma is there or not. You also might check to see if grandma is there under contract with some sort of agency. If that's the case you can still remove her as long as grandma is her own guardian and has not be declared legally incompetent.
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Like a rental agreement, they can ask for certain number of days notice. But if you have a copy of the prior notice and assertively present it, as well as indicating, politely, that you will file a complaint if they do not start counting the 30 days from the time of the first notice, they may decide that the few extra $$ are not worth the trouble and let you go. But, get that in writing.
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Good points above. I think it's important to realize that mobility problems might mean getting up numerous times throughout the night to help the senior to the toilet, change gown and even bathe if a mess occurs, change sheets, arrange for van or special vehicle for trips to doctor, hairdresser, etc. Then the nights spent in the ER, because they fell and it you have to get them checked out. I won't go into what happens when there are fractures. It's not good.

Many seniors over estimate what they can do. Once you really see the help they need, you might be surprised. At that point, you have to explain that the assistance they need is too great and then they may feel bad. She may likely not have the mobility to handle her own hygiene needs. So there is that to deal with.

It's a lot to consider. I'd have my backup, because it's not easy to have people just pop in to help with this kind of thing. There are liability issues and people don't want to injure themselves lifting a senior. I hope things work out well for you all. Please post back with your experiences.
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Yes, things can change in a flash. I don't want to sound pessimistic but my mom went from Independent Living, getting around on her own with a cane and sometimes a walker, mild dementia - to full blown dementia and full wheelchair - needing help to transfer, really 100% dependent on others, full nursing home care, in about three months. All due to one fall and basically a non injury fall at that. I think it's great that you want to bring your grandma home and feel you are up to the task. My only caution would be - have a back up plan in place. And if you think you may have a fight on your hands getting grandma back into a nursing home should her needs require it - question whether taking her out of one in the first place is a good idea. Best of luck to you, seriously. I hope it all works out as you are envisioning it to be.
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Mejjy11, here is the big question.... what does Grandma want to do? Does she want to move out, be away from new friends she had met?

I can't see why Grandma can't move out before those 30 days but she would be required to pay for those days within the 30 days notice.

How old is your Grandma? Depending on her age and health issues, I see she had mobility problems per your profile, things can change in a blink of an eye.

I remember back when my parents were in their late 80's and early 90's still walking 2 miles a day for exercise, doing yard work, living on their own. But I noticed with each new birthday, it was like my parents had aged 10 years in that one year. Before I knew it, both were walking with canes and those 2 miles walks stopped.

Lot of good advice was given by other writers... re-read what Sunnygirl had written. With mobility issues it is highly important to have grab bars in place in the bathrooms, bed rails so that Grandma can get out of bed on her own, getting Grandma to use a rolling walker to help her get around without falling. Falling is THE big thing with mobility issues. One fall can turn one's life upside down quickly.

And make sure Grandma is able to be around people of her own generation, as she wouldn't understand your generation of music or movies, or how to use a Smartphone.... thus make sure your home still has landlines with regular telephones.
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OP here.
I'm talking about travel time and distance being a problem, it's not like I live next door.

Grandma's quite capable of taking care of herself. She can be left alone for several hours. She's only there because Grandpa needed to be there, but he's not with us anymore so she doesn't need to be there. I have plenty of experience with caregiving, Grandma is a piece of cake.
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I think I would spend the additional time figuring out how I was going to provide all the care she'll need, lining up backup care, setting up/modifying the house, setting up schedules, getting ramp, getting prescriptions transferred, doctor's info available, bathroom adaptions, training on lifting, changing, bathing, etc.
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Do you know how mentally and physically exhausting caring for someone 24/7 is? Do you plan on having a job or a life?
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If just a few hours a day is "too much" then you are in for a big surprise when she lives with you. You will have to be with her 24/7.
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