Earlier this year my 84yo father was overdosed and almost died from lithium toxicity. When it came time for him to return home, I was advised by the case worker he would need an attendant/caregiver 24/7. I was lead to believe if this care were not provided, dad could be placed in a home involuntarily. Finances are tight, so we made an arrangement with a friend of a friend. B would reside in the home, make sure Dad took his meds, & ate regularly. B would also drive dad to appts and grocery shopping. All he wanted was room and board, $100 per week, and the freedom to work "odd jobs" if the opportunity came up and didn't interfere with Dad's care.
The first few weeks were heaven sent. Then B began to take over as if he owned the home. He was spoken too and agreed he was out of line. We had a few good days then the assertive behavior started back. Dad was doing his own driving, cooking for B, doing B's laundry and running a phone message service. After 3 months, Dad gave B 2 weeks notice and asked him to leave. That was 5 weeks ago. B is still there. He is verbally abusive and has now brought his girlfriend in. The house is now up for sale and B is sabotaging the process any way he can. Dad's health is deteriorating rapidly. Last night was particularly bad and dad called the police. B and girlfriend were left at the house while dad was escorted away by the police. The police say B is a "tenant" so mwe have to go thru the eviction process to get rid of him. I am astounded that the law is skewed in D's favor. I filed a complaint of elder abuse with APS today- that will take 10 days to investigate. I have dozens of notes this man has written calling dad a pr*ck, mother eff sob etc. I have witnesses to verbal name calling. He was also given a 3 day notice that his services were no longer required and that he needed to vacate. If he doesn't go along, we are facing an uphill court battle to get this scum out of my father's house.
Anyone else ever gone thru something like this? Any legal beagles with advice. I am making myself sick over this.
Oh, this is rather amusing...
We still have one or two renters from mom's day. This one guy is a gem, yes indeed. He was such a sweet, sweet boy....according to mom...who was going on 3 months late with the rent. Mom couldn't deal anymore, so I had to. I called him up and told him to either the get rent, like now, or I'd start eviction.
He flipped. He started screaming at me like a girl. It was hilarious. He asked me if I knew who he WAS?? I was informed that he was related to Dutch royalty, and the only reason he didn't have the rent by then was because the royals hadn't sent him his check, or written him back yet.... Uh huh. I told him that he best find a faster way to communicate with the royal family then, and tell them to get their asses in gear, or he'd be on the street. He was still yelling when I hung up. I think I got all the rent...he called mother....a few days later. He's still there, with his wife. I haven't had anymore rent issues. Thank God. Did I mention that I over heard him telling my mom one day that he was a 'well known' producer in Hollywood, and that his 'novel' was coming out, and that he was known for his alluring and beautiful prose.... Yup.
There are very, very few things in this world that inspire a red rage in me. Being the type of person that will take and harm my family for their own gain, not giving two shits about the cost to US at all, is one of them. Most people are too busy being politically correct and 'nice', and sometimes find themselves confronted with loser types, people that drain you, make you feel like shit....not in my world. There is no 'nice' in me for you if you're that type. No mercy. I want you gone. The end. Short and sweet.
A girlfriend and I were at the club one night when I was in my 20's. This guy came up, sat down uninvited, and started blabbing away in my friends ear, touching her, trying to pick her up. She wasn't amused. She looked at me, and rolled her eyes, was leaning away from him...she wasn't at all comfortable. This idiot wouldn't STFU, she couldn't get a word in, and all the while he's being all touchy feely, and not getting the hint. My friend wouldn't SAY anything, she wasn't the 'rude' type. I stopped him mid blab and asked if I could talk to him a minute. He said sure, he was all smiles, the poor, over confident, clueless sap. I said, 'Leave.', and I smiled at him. He said, 'What?' and I said, 'Leave. Go. Get Lost. Walk away. You're not wanted here. Is that clear enough?'. My girl was giggling like a loon. I wish I would have had a camera. The look on his face was priceless. He vanished, real quick. POOF! Short and sweet. Problem solved. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Life is just simpler that way. lol ;)
To get me to rage, you have to be proven scum. That's the only time the dragon wakes. And by then, I don't care what happens, I just want you out of my world, like yesterday. (too much GOT) lol
SA - I think you could give lessons in self defence. I'll share my crowbar on the playground story on your wall.
have a good weekend all
SHE TAKES HIM TO FAMILY SERVICES WEEKLEY FOR SUPPORT GROUPS.
AND HAS SOCIAL WORKERS COME TO THE HOUSE ON OCCATION TO HAVE HIM SINE FORMS. HE MENTIONED THAT HE WANTS TO COMPENSATE HER BY GIVING HER HALF THE PROPORTY! THE BANK CALLED REGARSEDING SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY. I CALLED FAMILY SERVICES AND YELLED THEM FOR SAENDING SOCIAL WORKERS TO THE HOUSE! I SAID AONRENT YOUR CASE MANAGERS TRAINED TO IDENTIFY ELDER ABUSE. THE PERP CARE GIVER IS A MASTER MIND. SHE DISCONNECTS PHONES - I USED A VERY GOOD TECHNIQUE TO GET THE TRUTH FROM MY DAD. I SPOKE SOFTLY WHILE PLAYING CARDS STARTED WITH A CURRENT EVENT GOT TO HIS BACK PAIN THEN QUESTIONS GOT DEEPER. I SAID THAT SHE IS A GREAT CARE GIVER DAD.II HOW DOES SHE HAVE THE ABILITY TO DO THIS JOB... .I CANT IMAGINE HER BEING PERFECT.... HIS RESPONSE WAS SHES NOT. I SAID OH AND WHY DO YOU SY THAT, HIS RELPY WAS WELL YOU KNOW SHES NOT ALWAYS GOOD WITH ME,,, AND I LEFT IT AT THAT...
SHE HAS SUCH A INFLUENCE ON HIM ITS BEYOND BELIFE... NOW WE ARE A CARING FAMILY AND WE NEEDED TO FIGRUE THIS OUT AS WE DID....AFTER 2 WEEKS...PROBLEM ONE CARE GIVES ARE MANDATED REPORTERS AND MUST REPORT.ANY SINE OF ELDER ABUSE IMMEDIATELY. OTHER WISE THEY FACE PRISON TIME AND A HEATY FINE, WHAT IF A CUP OF HOTWATER IS SPILED ON HIM? IS THAT ELDER ABUSE?? I MEAN THERE TERRIFIED OF RETALIATION AND BECAME BRAINWASHED THAT THINGS ARE NORMAL ORDINARY ACCIDENTS.
I AM NOT EVEN SURE IF IM MANDATED TO REPORT THIS ... IM AFRAID I BROKE THE LAW... I DID NOTHING BUT APPROACH THIS WITH MY UNCLE IN A KIND MANNER. WE TRIED To CONVINCE MY DAD TO FIRE HER. MY UNCLE FINALLY SAID HOW CAN YOU T YOUR SON HIS WAY... WE ASKED HIM IS THIS WOMAN HURTING OR STEELING MONEY?? HE REMAINED SILENT FOR 5 MINUTES AS WE KEPT ASKING... HE FINALLY YELLED AND TOLD US TO LEVE. NOW I HAVE SPOKEN AND RESEARCHED HOW APS POLICE HANDLE THESE SITUATIONS. IT IS NOT GOOD...
FIRST OFF THER the ONLY GOAL IS TO SCORE A BUST AND PUT OUR ARSSENIORS IN HOMES. I HAD SEVERAL RUN INS WTH THEM 8 YEARS AGO. AND THEY ARE MEAN. ONE AGENT PUSHED MY DAD AND MY DAD SPOKE TO HIS MANAGER, THEY SIMPLY PLANT IDEAS IN THERE HEADS AND BASICALLY FORCE A CONFESSION OUT OF THE ABUSED ELDER, THERE BLACK AND WHITE... THEY MANIPULATE PEOPLE AND DID NOT EVEN WANT TO HERE MY SIDE OF THE STORY. ITS PRETTY OBVIOUS THAT LAW ENFORCEMENT SHOULD NOT GET INVOLVED UNLESS NEEDED... OR SOCIAL SERVICES.... THEY DESTROY LIVES REMOVE ELDERS FROM THERE HOMES... THEY ARE PIECES OF SH*T! IF THE VICTIM IS IN DANGER THE CONTACT LAW ENFORCEMENT. NOW I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PROTECT MY TERRIFIED CARE GIVERS FROM SOCIAL SERVICES AND THE POLICE..... THEY ARE THE REAL CRIMINALS WORSE THAN THE ABUSERS.... ATTORNEYS ADVISE MEDIATORS AND SERVICES ALONG WITH AGENCIES RESOURCES THAT Won't HARM THE VICTIM OR FAMILY. I TERRIFIED IF I CONTACT THE DA LAW ENFORCEMENT.... ATTYS CHARGE.
IM STUCK IM SCARED.... I JUST WANT THIS MOMAN OUT OF THE HOUSE. AND HIRE A REPSONSIBANLE CARE GIVER. AFTER LEARNINGWHAT I LEREND THE SITUATION SCORING IS SAFER THAN LAW ENFORCEMENT. WHO CAN BE TRUSTED. IF LAW ENFORCEMENT GEI INVOLVED OR THESE PROTECTIVE AGENCYS MY DAD COULD DIE... I WAS WARNED ABOUT ALL THIS... THIS IS MY S... CAN ANY ONE PLEASE TELL ME IF THERE IS A WAY TO SIDE SIDE STEP LAW ENFORCEMENT AND GET HELP THAT RWONT KILL HIM OF MAKE MATTERS SPE OPLE DONT REPORT ELDER ABUSE BECUASE THEY DONT EVEN RELEASE OR EVEN KNOW HOW T HANDLE IT... AND THERE AFRAID...
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WHY DO GOOD PEOPLE WHO PROVIDE EXCELLENT CARE BECOME VICTIMS BECAUSE THEY ARE SCARED OR DONT SEE THE ABUSE. THAT'S MY STORY//
ANY ONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO GET THIS PEICE OF SH*T WOMAN OUT OF MY DADS HOUSE! PLEASE TELL ME OW TO DO IT AND KEEP MY DAD AND CARE GIVERS SAFE.I WANT HER OUT
contact me please - edimarcozz11 at gmail please help! thank you
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