Can I remove my sister from my oldest sisters care? - AgingCare.com

Can I remove my sister from my oldest sisters care?

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The older sister has POA of medical and finances. According to the eldest sister my younger sister has dementia. The younger sister suffered a bad head injury quiet some time ago and as everyone knows with these injuries people change. Fast forward some 23 years or more now the older sister has control over her and I believe she is being abused physically emotionally and definitely financially. What can I do to help? I'm willing to become the care taker but the older sister does not want to let go. How can I find out if what she has is legal? Cant afford a huge legal battle but willing to fight for what is right for my younger sister.

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Get your sister a guardian ad litem who can advocate for her. Petition the court for a hearing and you will need to have documents to prove your case and perhaps others to sign affidavits to swear your younger sister is being abused. Contact adult protective services and have them make an assessment. Do as much as you legally can, and if you fail, then try and get along with your older sister to see your younger sister. Best wishes!
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Protective services must respond( in most states) within a few days. Before you call try to find concrete evidence that your sister is being abused. Look for dirty laundry, bruises(take a phone picture) dirty dishes in her bedroom, hygiene issues....anything you can to validate your concerns. Why do you feel that she is being financially violated? Can you get your hands on anything? What does your younger sister say? Can you be there when PS gets there? You said "according to the older sister " the younger sister has dementia....so your older sis is a doctor? No, well then get a doctors report and have the doctors ask questions of the younger sister. If you want to get involved in protecting your sister you will have to prepare yourself to at least being a thorn in your sisters side until it is resolved. Good luck.
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You have every right to be concerned. Finding out whether your concerns are justified or not is much more difficult. Tread carefully.

If your older sister has been your younger sister's caregiver for more than two decades, it would be understandable (and merit sympathy) if your older sister needs help just as much as the younger one. That's a heck of a burden to have carried for so long. Your older sister might be reluctant to let go for all kinds of reasons, some with good intentions (e.g. believing that no one else could be equal to the task) and others more worrying (e.g. being terrified that abuses might come to light, which could also be combined with searing guilt).

But untangling it is a tricky, delicate and complex task, and you will need expert help. How closely involved are you with both of them as things stand? And how did it come about that Older Sister assumed responsibility for Younger Sister - were decisions made by your parents, for example?
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As mentioned here, definitely call APS. Don't be surprised though if they don't act right away to remedy the situation, sometimes this can happen but don't stop the problem is resolved. Another thing you can do while you're at it is to make a police report. When making any reports, take with you any and all evidence that you may have. Sometimes a police report must first be made in order to get things moving. I had to make a police report many years ago when I saw a guardian physically abusing some down syndrome is in her care. Sometimes though it takes a personal attack against you in order to get the ball rolling to get other victims removed from the home, this is just how things turned out in this particular case, and there was an elderly living in the home at the time. I'm not sure how soon the down syndrome is including the elderly one were removed from the home, but it was probably almost immediately. I didn't know about the aps back then as I do now. If you happen to be on any accounts with your sister, what I would do just in order to stop the theft is pull all the shared money between you both into a new account and then call Social Security to inform them of the financial abuse find the problem caregiver. One thing you could do if you are on a joint account with her is to see if they still have those Social Security prepaid debit cards that you can load your Social Security onto. Another thing you can do is set up online auto bill pay from your end to pay her bills. What so nice is that you can block this person from ever accessing the account, but you can allow access to the joint owner. The only problem though is that the joint owner who may have a caregiver come in with her could put her up to giving that caregiver undeserved money they're not entitled to. What you could consider is gaining guardianship
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Call your local adult protective services office and explain your concerns. They may decide to investigate.
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