He doesn't care about her. My mother is 96 and in full blown dementia. She is currently in an expensive ($7000/mo) facility. She has had several falls. The last caused injuries. My brother has complained repeatedly about how much it costs to keep her in this place; now he has gone faurther and hired "sitters" b/c the facility doesn't have the services to keep her otherwise. This is 12 hrs/day @ $20/hr 7 days a week. I want him to move her to a less expensive place. He is very hostile to me and won't discuss it. She really doesn't know where she is. Do I have to hire an attorney, and if I do, will her estate pay the costs?

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If she gave him POA, that means she chose him, when she was of sound mind, to make the right decisions for her. Now that she "doesn't know where she is" it is his job to decide what is best for her.

$7,000 a month is an average price for full time nursing home - memory care facilities. It is also common to hire extra caregivers at a facility if the patient has extensive needs. I doubt you could find a less expensive facility that would give you more'd end up in a crappy facility and paying even more for extra care.

If you want, you can sue for guardianship, but since she is safely in a facility with extra caregivers I can't see any court that would overrule her own decisions of having him as POA. And no, her estate wouldn't pay for the cost. There is no estate while she is alive. You would be paying those fees. And, any court will see that her wishes are being respected, and her money is going towards her care.

Sorry for the harsh answer but it's the truth and you need to hear it.

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