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My sister is 91 frail and needs help with bathing, cooking meals and light housekeeping. She is resistant to strangers but I am 1 1/2 hours away. She will never move out of her apt. Any help is really needed.

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I do so appreciate your taking the time for the tips you've given. Right now my sister is reluctant to have relatives in the apt let alone strangers so I am taking baby steps. She needs a Dr visit first, hasn't been to him for some time. I'm afraid I may have to get ambulance transport for her if I can't get her to dr myself. She is very stubborn and I have to ignore her angry answers. It's not the physical work that's stress for me it's all the mental work we do. I'm almost 79 myself and luckily healthy.
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My parents were very reluctant to also have strangers in the house. For us it started out with a cleaning person. I was able to find a woman who was a parent of my son's friend who did cleaning on the side. I explained to my parents that it was just too much for me trying to clean 2 houses and take care of my kids too. I stayed the first time she came. My parents were thrilled to have the whole house cleaned at one time, something i was unable to do. Had it not been someone we knew thru someone else, it would not have worked. After seeing how positive it turned out, my parents were more open to having help in the house. We only ever hired women caregivers not associated with an agency. We were fortunate to find 2 women from my sisters church who wanted to be paid in cash and were willing to come over for a few hours each day. They initially made lunch, did wash and were a companion for my mom. My neighbor hired 2 women from an agency who stayed 24/7 with this woman which allowed her to remain in her home. Family realized what they would pay for nursing home was the same as round the clock care.
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I thought of that too and have told a priest who is a family friend of the situation. I'm hoping he can visit and help to reason with her.
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You are more then welcome. You could always ask people at church if they know if anyone looking for domething for a few hours a day, senior groups or neighbors.
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Thank you. They are based in Teaneck and serve New Milford. Will research it and keep it in mind. Thanks again.
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I saw something on tv the other day called "home instead" senior care companion living, kind of remember it may have been based in nj, but I have no further info then the name of the place. Good luck
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