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I travel for work so we had cameras installed in the house. The caregivers know about the cameras but at least five of them turned off the camera or put something in front of it or even turned it facing our kitchen window. The ones that turned it act like they didn’t realize it. The one that unplugged it blamed it on our dogs. We hire these people to keep my mom company keep her safe give her meds and feed and help with bathroom. They all end up failing one way or another. Some try to put her to bed early so they can go to their computer, some don’t give her medications. I’m going crazy, it’s not very difficult. My mom is 84 and 88lbs walks around a lot and likes to be with people. She's easy but wants company. She has a hard time getting her words out so I agree with her and say that’s good. I talk to her. Then you have some caregivers ignore her. It’s hard to find good help...

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Hello Rilley...im very sad that this still happening to the much needed population...
I deeply admired you because First I have a mother thousand miles away.Im in NY she is in PR.Second becasue im a HHA since 1982 and third because it's a deep subject.
I know and has suffer your concerns thru my familie,friends...on my line of duty daily living witnessing how aides leave clients unattended for hours...
DEFFINETLY you need to speak with her doctor after you come up with a plan and goals for your mom ideal balance life.
Number one...You have the authority to get things done in an Ethical manner.
Close your eyes and visualize a perfect day for mom.Lets see...Mom awakes by 9 am if shower in the morning will be awesome...then breakfast...goes for a walk...come home relax and watch t.v. LUNCH...WHILE listening some soft music...then read newspaper...or help with doing laundry like fold or hang clothes.Help in the kitchen...
Now that could be an scenario...
I've been a HHA since 1982 i have done all types of clients ...but the one really brings me lot's of satisfaction is the Alzheimer's and dementia population...There is so much to do and offer to them ...the sky is the limit
In the case I'm now for a year the client is doing so well thanks to the intervention of her caretaker.They had many aides till one day she said ...WHAT DO I WANT FOR HER THAT WILL BENEFITS everybody?
I work Fri.sat.sun.mo.9am to 9 pm4 days 12 hours.
On Friday a musician come with a guitar.Monday i look up for songs then i get in touch with him talk about the songs...so he come prepare on Friday
When he comes i open my lap top look for the biography of the singer and i ask her to please read for us...and she does...then we play music and sing...Have some coffee and cake o crackers...all is about the approach and planning...then saturday we watch nice programming ...read ...and do the nails...Sunday is deep body appearance ...shower head to toe. lotion.,shampoo, theeth etc.Monday is to relax...watch tv...cut magazines... read...
Her caretaker put a STOP TO THE NONE SENSE...
SHE TOOK EVERYBODY OUT
HIRE New people with lots of expiriance FROM 3 DIFFERENT AGENCIES...NOW FROM 30% Client is 99.9% doing better...
Do not get discourage...its just about getting the goals to take action...it might not work 100% but any percent is acceptable...as long the team are doing all they can in their power...you all in my prayers...IT CAN BE DONE...OK
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Alzheimer's.org.
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There are many wonderful caregivers out there but I know they can be hard to find. Using a care manager can help by recommending people they know. Agencies can be difficult in this aspect because they will often keep less than stellar caregivers on staff to meet their staffing needs.
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We’re out there ! Don’t give up !
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I think it is difficult to find all the right qualities in one caregiver. We have one who is very good at engaging my mother and playing cards with her as well as doing laundry and light housekeeping. Personal care is a detail we have not added to her list, because I have been handling it in the morning. We have added another caretaker in the morning, once a month, to specifically do the personal care, which she accomplishes, but for the remainder of the theee hours she sits in another room and uses her phone. She is young and unable to relate to my mother in the same way that the older caretaker does. The older caretaker already has a morning job with another client. So, basically I am going to Come up with a detailed list for the morning personal care lady. It will be her fourth visit so she has the personal care routine set up, I just need some type of productive activity to balance her responsibilities to include interacting with my mother.
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KellyOrtega Aug 29, 2018
Spending time with our clients during down time is naturally part of our job. If your caregiver is sitting in another room for three hours a day I'd say that is pretty awful and she needs to be replaced. That is just not ok and not what you are paying for. And if you do not need this person to handle personal care you might consider a companion rather than a home health aide. Companions tend to be older and may be a better fit for your Mom. Vest of luck.
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It is not hard, it is extremely hard. I am crying every day visiting mom in rehab, that will be LTC for her. I am crying because I do not know how to arrange a care for her at home, and I am crying because the best facility around me has a waiting list that grow and grow....
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Sorgalim Aug 30, 2018
Hello Poetry...DO NOT DISCOURAGE AND DO NOT.I know it's hard.You CAN DO IT.There many resources Out there.ask to speak to the social worker from the rehabilitation department.Ask about your CONCERN make a list of questions make phone calls to the giriatric hot line.I do not know your mom's condition but each one has an organization...call them and ask for your concerns...there many nonprofit organizations that can also assit you.I CAN BE DONE...please do not cry...YOUR MOTHER NEEDS YOU.KEEP US POSTED ALL IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT.AMEN
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Hello Rilley. Remember no Person in the World loves or would really Care for Your Mom as well as You. Try to find a retired Nurse to cover for You as Nurses are so well trained and They have that professional touch.
Good Luck Rilley. I was on the same journey with my own Mom but I was lucky as I was able to take indefinite leave of absence. I kept engaging in conversation with my Mother and singing old Irish Songs as well as reciting recitations hence Mom never lost Her speech and Moms memory was quiet good to the End.
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This industry has a high turnover rate, so good luck in finding a decent one.
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Yes, they do exist, but they are very hard to find.
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I found the best caregivers thru friends and the church.
The most wonderful woman was the sister of a friend from church. She was my lifesaver. For some reason she just was able to talk my Dad into doing what needed to be done. He never fought with her. She was amazing.

I tried the agencies, but found that the crappy pay meant the only people working for them didn't actually care to do the job. I insisted that this woman be paid a decent salary or I would take her and my business somewhere else.
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I had the same problem. I went through two agencies and three private-pay caregivers. My mom is easy, she has Parkinsons so only needs someone to watch to make sure she doesn't fall and talk to her. One was afraid to bathe her, one turned on crime shows which scared mom, one kept cancelling. Keep looking, I did eventually find good caregivers through an agency. They dote on mom, do her nails and even clean the house.
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I think Mom needs an Assisted Living. You will have more controll over the aides because you will have someone to report to. Mom will have people to talk to and activities.
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anonymous434963 Aug 29, 2018
If you hire through an agency, you have "someone to report to." It's still the same issue, that is, insufficient care. If you move into an AL, then you are stuck with whatever help they hire unless you are willing to move again.
At least in your own home, you can ask the agency for a different care-giver or change agencies.
It's a terrible problem, for sure. When we needed in-home help, we had good experiences with people referred by church friends. We had some good, some questionable agency care-givers; but the director of the agency was usually helpful in addressing issues.
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