Mom's roommates relatives are sleeping overnight in nursing home. Their loved one is in hospice care. Is this common? - AgingCare.com

Mom's roommates relatives are sleeping overnight in nursing home. Their loved one is in hospice care. Is this common?

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My mother just got admitted to an NH/Rehab center for a fractured hip. She is in a two bedroom room. The other patient is a lady who is dying; her family has called in hospice care. I have met the family and they seem very nice, but one of the daughters told me she and her sister sleep in chairs in the room overnight. My mother told me the woman moans sometimes in her sleep. Is this common practice at nursing homes....that they allow the relatives to sleep overnight in the room? They are from out of state, but the husband of one of them stays overnight at the mother's condo in town. I don't mean to sound heartless, but we did not do this with my father when hospice was called in. I would think there would be rules against this in the nursing home. When I asked the unit manager why my mother was in a room with a hospice patient, she told me they didn't have room to move her anywhere else. This doesn't seem true....I took a walk around the nursing home and there looked to be plenty of empty rooms. Any thoughts?

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With your smart phone please video the crap that’s smeared and if you can her doing this. Video how the bathroom looks as well. Send it to a trusted friend, so it exits other than on your phone.

Then email the DON ( director of nursing) in which you mention your concerns & you close email with a one line sentence that you have video of the 💩 & print out a copy which you leave with unit/floor RN for mom’s sector. That room needs to be completely sanitized including furnishings. Your mom needs to move into another room ASAP. & facility needs to replace any of her exposed items, like her toothbrush, towels, bathing supplies or anything else mrs nasty bottom could have laid hands on.

If your mom has ever had a C Deff infection in the past mention that in the email as you would not want a preventable repeat of C deff due to facility negligence.
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When my MIL was in rehab she went downhill. Not the rehab fault she had willed herself to die. They were waiting for a bed on LTN side. In the meantime, her roommate asked if she could be moved because she didn't want to be in the room of a dying person. She was switched.

You need to go up the ladder. First complaint should be to the Unit RN. Then the Diretector of Nursing then to the Adminstrator. No one should be in a room with a dying person. And family Members need to have respect for the other person. I saw this at a rehab where Mom had been. Family was in a woman's room all day long. She had a private bed I think. She didn't like to be alone and no she wasn't elderly.
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Hearts, your mom needs you to speak up for her. Do NOT be intimidated by the facility. They are there to serve your mom, help her get better, and make sure she is comfortable. I know as soon as my mom acted up (she could get physical with her roommate when she was delusional) she was immediately moved to another room and eventually wound up by herself.

It is not a sanitary situation if this woman is smearing feces all over the room. And, with the staff situation being what it usually is in facilities, clean up could take a while. Yuck.

Start with the RN on the floor, then go on to the Director of Nursing, , the Social Worker and finally the Administrators of the facility. Don’t just put up with this. It’s not fair to your mom.
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COMPLAIN! For rehab they need their rest to get the most out of it. My bet is that mom's insurance would have something to say about this as well as the state certification office.

Definitely complain first.
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My mother is having stroke rehab at a facility ..supposedly a rehab floor but presently has a roommate who was on their dementia wing but for some reason is now in with my mother . She is incontinent ( also smearing this about) , was wandering about at first (including getting into others areas) although now seems sedated. I think it is having an depressing effect and also the room smells terrible - I have a difficult time since I have a sensitive nose. My mother has been disturbed by her at all hours and also voices concern with being in same room when this woman passes away ...I am sympathetic for the woman but feel she should be in a private room or with someone who would not be bothered.  She doesn't like us to complain but ...
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Addie, call the local Ombudsman Program and Crisis Line Number (1-800-231-4024) for California LTCOP.
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I too am concerned for my sister. She has parkinsons and a resident in a assisted living convalescent facility. She has a room mate that is also a resident who had a stroke. Her room mates daughter will come in to visit and tend to her mother at all hours of the night. Sometimes getting into bed with her mother. She is loud and watches tv and/or listens to the radio without any concern for my sister, who can't get the sleep she needs. What can I do as we have told the facility director many times but nothing is done.
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I understand why it bothers you.

My dad was a VERY difficult patient in the hospital. ICU even made a very rare exception to allow me to stay overnight, my mom was there in the daytime.
Mom or I were there overnight for every hospital visit, but he had single rooms. The hospital he typically went to was mostly single rooms. The nurses would even bring a rollaway. On some rare exceptions we had roommates, but always were respectful and quiet.

I know my grandmother, uncle or dad always had an either an adult child or spouse companion for every serious hospital Stay. In my family it is an expectation, but we are a pretty intense bunch. Rehab had a policy that only professional caretakers were allowed overnight.....we had to hire one, private pay....that is how difficult a patient my dad was. When my uncle was in rehab my aunt paid an up charge for a double room, so she could sleep over they even included meals. I think this is becoming a more accepted practice because facilities are accommodating it as you can see from my examples.

I repect your right to not want overnight guest, I also understand not wanting to leave bedside particularly in hospice, the prognosis may be short term. The nurses are likely not in any hurry to get rid of he family, if they are helpful...keeping the patient calm.

Even with my personal entrenched family expectations and traditions, I would side with you on this, overnight guests should be restricted for single room situations.
You are not being mean you have the right to advocate for restful environment for your loved one.


I hope the facility can work this out.

Good luck.
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I also understand the family not wanting to leave.

I've been there and done it twice for both my Dad and MIL but it was only for the last 24 hours of their lives.
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Just to comment on Medicare covered stay in rehab. They will pay for up to 100 days if making progress and deemed necessary.
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