My mother cannot walk and has dementia. I live with her as her full-time caregiver. It has its challenges, but it's fine overall. She has great doctors, and we have home health care that comes in regularly. Some relatives--mostly my mom's sister--will NOT drop it that they think my mom should be in a nursing home. For example, I got this email from her today--with an attached ad for a dementia-care facility:
"Came across this ad in a magazine today. It's appealing because they try to inspire purpose which I feel your mom could use. She always says she isn't doing anything. I know you are doing a good job of caring for her physical needs but I still believe she needs skilled care with people who know about various dementias and can treat it medically, physically, and spiritually. We once had a friend who was in a place similar to this and she progressed well.
Let me know what you think."
I get these types of things pretty often from her and others. I am doing the best i can to honor my mom's wishes--we tried several nursing facilities in the past year and my mom hated them all. She hates rules and schedules. So we made the decision to buy a house big enough for us and things have been going really well.
But my job is hard--I don't need these damn passive-aggressive messages every week. I was feeling great when i woke up today--now I've spent the last 4 hours feeling hurt and angry. I would like advice about how to shut them down. Thanks!