Anyone have or had a relative with colon cancer who can't go through treatment?

I am so sorry for your loss. Colon Cancer is EVIL. Pure and simple. I could not believe my mom came out of surgery with no colostomy bag. But it returned...not long after. She refused any further treatment. Told me she had settled everything with God. She was placed in Hospice at the hospital. It was so nice. We put her furniture and pictures in there and sat with her day and night until she passed. She was a wonderful women. When parents die, there is just no words for the feelings we have. That was my mom, the women who brought me into this world. It was hard. I cannot tell you it will get easier. You will miss him everyday. I am SO sorry.

“Life is no brief candle. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” ~George Bernard Shaw~

my3kidsok ~ May God gently hold you in the palm of His Hand. May your dear Dad’s love give light and guide your footsteps, and your heartbeat. After your tears and fears subside ~ the love and devotion you gave unconditionally will be there to light mystically silent days, too. Sometimes, the treasure cove of memories will even outshine the sun ~ joy, laughter and music will return: your Dad would want that for you. He’d want your Life’s torch to burn brightly, too. Blessings. crickets

Thank you

Sorry for your loss.

I am sad to report, my dad passed away last week. We were sitting on the bed talking the night before. He had gotten up and got a rolaid so i know his stomach was not feeling well. But he must not have been in terrible pain because he layed down. When i found him, he did still however have the rolaid in his mouth. I wish i wouldve been awake. It has been very hard. Im in a daze. The funeral was on the day of the appointment i set for gi doctor. So i guess ill never know exactly what it was. I hope he died quickly in his sleep.

Thank you cricket33 and all of you. Im going to call the doctor in the morning. Its been two weeks and still no medicine for appetite. Insurance issue. Hes barely getting around. Said the other day he thought he was hving a heart attack. Thoufht he was going to have to go to hospital. I was gone and my husband was here. The pain in his chest left. Now hes complaining of back pain. But hes staying in bed alot. He said hes really weak. He comes out for coffee w me and all he wants to talk about is seeing relatives ive never heard of. Remembering and milling over people hes always been to busy in my lifetime to keep up with! I guess this is normal. I think to myself though well i guess He'll see all of them in heaven soon. May sound bad but hes talking about gathering people from Lord knows where to have a family reunion. Weve been going over these people and old girlfriends he gets stuck on. I wonder at what point he will be at peace to let go of this world and also forgive himself for the past. Day by day like i said. The amount of food he can consume and the stomach aches are sure not good. Dont yall think doing the colonoscopy with his rapid weight loss will only cause him to lose more weight? Its basically like a cleanse where he would end up losing pounds right? Well, the doctor is suppose to be setting up the consultation for the GI doctor. Well see what he says. Thnks again, xxooo

My sister had no symptoms, except for a severe stomach/abdominal pain that sent her to her doctor on a whim. She was immediately hospitalized, 12" of her colon was removed, she went through the chemo, and the cancer metastasized to her liver. She fought ~ valiantly, but lost her life 9 months from the date of diagnoses. She was brilliant, kind and loved life and learning.

Dad also lost weight quickly - down to 110lbs at the most. At 79 he was diagnosed with prostrate cancer. He was no longer a candidate for the stem cell - [like a thin needle inserted under the skin] and went through the radiation, while wearing a back brace. The cancer metastasized throughout his spine.

Please look into the virtual colonoscopy that GrandmaLynn5 suggested, as fast as possible. Your Dad may need to have palliative care, depending on the results/diagnosis. i've had genetic counseling, as 6 relatives have died due to colon cancer. We had enlisted the help [through the social worker] of Hospice ~ they are literally Angels with car keys. If you don't have POA, Hippa auth, etc., please get it asap - even if the attorney needs to make a house call.

Given your Dad's weight loss, may i gently suggest that time is of the essence ~ please contact his doctor, or any GI specialist. You need to have it at the very least, ruled out. Something else may be going on ... but you're powerless to have any options without any further information.

i don't wish to alarm you, but my uncle had no symptoms. He went in for a routine 2-yr check up, and the doc started, and then stopped the procedure. My uncle didn't wake up, ended up spending his last days 30 in a coma, on dialysis, and in one second of clarity my aunt asked if he wanted to "go home" - as a reverend, he said Yes. And the artificial means of life sustaining equipment were unplugged, and ceased.

Sending blessings and hugs ~ may God guide you through this unfamiliar journey with clarity, peace and wisdom.

Im sorry for the loss of your aunt. I am grateful my dad is not bitter. Hes not happy. But he still plans for the future if and when hes feeling better. I have never seen anyone want to live so long! Hes 82 and always refused to admit his age and he has always been a thinker and a doer. He amazes me i would probably tell myself welp this is it and quit planning to make money ect.. but he is not an average man. Lol thank you all again. Day by day.

This is a hard place to be in. The work up should cover a lot of ground, not just colon cancer. Will pray for you, your dad, and his doctors, all!

My aunt had the same symptoms and did have colon cancer at age 76. She was stage 4 already when they removed the tumor it was spread to her liver already. She refused radiation and did chemo once a week until they side effects became too much for her. Her cancer had spread to lungs next and she tried chemo again but quit. She lived 23 months after diagnosis. Hospice kept her comfortable in the end but she was a very bitter and mean person those last 2 years.

Thank you for all the support btw and suggestions

This all happened in a time span of a year and a half. He went from over 170 pds, working, to this. Maybe age just caught up to him. Series of events and his body just cant get back. Or something else. Idk.

They were some kind of pain medication. Which was from hurting himself falling. But it also made him fall again and couldnt get up from the bathroom floor. But he realized he was having a issue w it. So he quit taking them. A friend came over today, who is actually a pastor. He hasnt seen him in a few months. He broke down crying at the door leaving.He said he doeant like the Spirit he felt. He made me feel as if daddy is really dying. The way he looks and feels. I dont know whats going to happen. Its like he wants to live, he even said today. To call the doctor for colonoscopy. Now i dont know what for. Im scared. My daddy cant go on like this he says. But theres not much left it seems. His body is wasting away. I can feel his skull and it seems shrunk, I could put my hands around his upper thigh im sure and i am small. I need to have faith but i dont.

New2this. No not too good to be true it is probably just a test for occult (hidden) blood in the stool. it can be a good first step and better than nothing but there can be blood for many reasons other than cancer so further investigation will be needed if one is of an age and inclination for treatment. As far as the colonoscopy is concerned i finally had one this year to shut everyone up and the prep was pretty easy. i did five days of low residue diet,one day of liquids (any sort) half the prep that night,the next day clear liquids only and the rest of the prep that night. i just sat on the toilet for a couple of hours and drank the prep which really was not too bad with the flavoring. i chose to take mine a t room temperature with a straw and it went down just fine.

Hey guys, weird, but my insurance company just sent me a thing today that says: Adults between 50-75 are recommended to get tested for colorectal cancer. Get this, "The simplest one is a home test kit. It takes only a few minutes once a year, ask you doctor where to get one, needs no prescription of special steps, take it in the privacy of your own home". Hmmm. Never heard of such a thing, but was sent to me today by Humana. Too good to be true, or?

I hope he wasn't on Ephedra/Ephedrine. That causes major weight loss AND addiction!

what KIND of pills did this friend of his give him? its possible that this might be the cause of all his issues. some people taking diet pills will actually destroy the liver but yet they keep taking them for the sake of "wanting to be thin".

Might try some high quality yogurt each day to get some good guy live cultures in the gut. That and 8 oz of gatoraide make me feel better when intestines are inflamed. Also keep an eye out for MSG in food, it's notorious for worsening inflamed intestines. There's a lot of items out there these days that say MSG free right on the label. Can't hurt anything anyway, while you wait for further testing. :-)

Ps he has not had access to any pain meds nor wants any pills for depression or anything.

Thank you for all your responses. Wow. I feel so much love from ya'll. Ok, to make it short as possible. Let me see. He was 178 pds. Working in his office but had money troubles. Started taking some pills a friend gave him. He said he fell, after the fall a year and a half ago. Nothing broken but he kept taking pills for a few weeks. His eating decling, not bathing, ect.. convinced him to go home w me. We went to hospital because he had infection in wound i felt which was MSRA. since then hes been with me. He lost his teeth, more weight loss. 2 trips to er for pnemonia. More weight loss. Hes had a CAT scan and results good, all kinds of blood work, always good. Just a little bit anemic. The doctor does not seem to know the cause. He just keeps saying there has to be a reason your losing weight like this. Dad says hes not eating. I say he IS eating. Does he like the food all the time, no but trust me, he does eat more than me i think. He gets bar b qie samdwiches, eats out all the time. I make him breakfast and dinner and hes been drinking protein for a year and a half non stop. He is not the person he was at all a year and a half ago. They dont seem to say its just old age. They cant believe he looks like this and has declined in front of them as well. So quickly. We are getting meds to stimilate appetite. But im like alot everyone else. What is the problem. He said he would discuss the colonoscopy in the next visit, which is 3 months away. Oh and we are doing a stool test but he says they are not accurate enough. I would like to know where we are at. But if it were me, or you. Would u rather live your last days w hope, even if its false than to be diagnosed. I dont know what to say. He refuses to think that it could be cancer at all anyway.

This is why u should get one because it runs in the family. My Aunt had her first at 85 to find out the cause of her pain.

Get the colonoscopy! These are life-saving tests. Two of my relatives (my 77 year old aunt, who was an RN and my uncle who sadly refused to get his colonoscopy (he also had a brother, my father-in-law who got colon cancer. Both my aunt and uncle died from colon cancer! Unnecessary deaths!

Correction: I just saw my gastroenterologist yesterday and he said that there is no age cut-off point for getting colonoscipies. Why? Because each individual's uinque set of genes dictate how well or ill they are.

My Mom had her last colonoscopy at 80, it was clear. Dr. said that he wouldn't do another at her age. As we get older the sides of the colon thin out. The risk o perferating it all more likely. Then u have the problem of a life threatning infection.

Has your dad been on any antibiotics recently? My mom ended up with what is called C-Diff from a pharmacy error in giving her the wrong dosage of Cipro. (* it was too much). She lost over 70 pounds in less than a year.
She did end up getting a colonoscopy, where they found some "dark areas" and ended up having a third of her colon removed, which for some reason did the trick and made her well again. It was not cancer though, which was good.
Although 10 years later she ended up with breast and lung cancer. In which the treatments will kill you before the cancer will. It's been two years since the radiation and chemo and now all the nasty side effects are coming home to roost. It's not pretty and is very hard watching her deteriorate due to these so called cures.
So if your dad does not want any treatment, respect his wishes and do your best to keep him happy and comfortable.
Keeping you in my prayers.

Absolutely do not assume it is cancer and untreatable without any investigation. CT of the abdomen is a good idea, if he really can't do a colonoscopy - I agree, don't underestimate the prep, its not easy on the elderly, but not necessarily out of the question for all over any given age. But as it stands, for all you know he could have inflammatory bowel disease or any other possible reason for poor appetite like GERD or gastritis that would be highly treatable. Having "some of the symptoms" does not at all equate with having a diagnosis, no matter what Dr. Google seems to say. You need a different doctor if only a colonoscopy is being considered.

I lost my grandpa to colon cancer, for real - he had stomach pain and did not even give anyone a chance to make a correct diagnosis, because he diagnosed himself as "old malaria acting up again." I was just a teenager then - 40 years ago - can't even blame Dr. Google for that one. Be careful too that refusal of any given test is not taken as an automatic indication that all you want is palliative care...

My dad had a bout of diverticulosis last year and he underwent a colonoscopy at the age of 89. The prep was a little easier because he was already a patient in the hospital. The nurse set up a potty chair next to his bed for him to use so he did not have to walk with his cane very far.

Llamalover. I do not believe there is an age cut off for colonoscopy. Your GI might prefer not to do them after a certain age but people are far from finished at 78

also it might just be diverticulitis (?spelling), that also could cause terrible pain and losing weight. there is so much that could be wrong that might not be cancer but could be taken care of. so what if he has a colonoscopy and it is cancer, at least he knows and the course of action he may or may not want to take. but at least you know what you are dealing with. good luck.

I have just learned from my GI doc that there is an age "cut-off" point for people getting a colonoscopy. The prep is too hard for elders to go through. I was surprised to learn that the cut off point was relatively young-78, I think.