My mother-in-law goes into a deep sleep where she is twitching and it's hard to wake her. Anyone experience this?

Deep sleep in the elderly is not unusual along with slight movements. Read some articles on normal aging process.

Does she have signs of dementia? My husband has terrible twitching, jerking, arm flailing, shouting out, etc. to the point of my having to get out of bed to avoid being hit or kicked. It is part of his dementia. We have tried many different meds, and finally found one that seems to help.

She's scared to take a ride in the car? What is she afraid of? Has she been examined hy a geriatric psychiatrist? It sounds like there might be some depression and anxiety going on.

Is the twitching in her sleep bothering her? Has she had a sleep study done?

My mom with dementia was also very hard to wake, it was normal for her. Then pair the dementia with hard of hearing the only thing that would work to wake her is touching her or stroking her arm of face. That scared the bejebbies out of her. She would wake with a scream. So, unless it was very important, late for an appointment or whatever I stopped trying to wake her. They need more sleep. It was not unusual for my mom to sleep 12-15 hours a night. That also is normal.

Since she is in a care center why is your husband trying to wake her? Or is he telling doctors that she needs to get up after a certain number of hours of sleep? Mom needs her sleep and the amount of sleep she gets does not effect how much she will sleep through the day. To try to have her more wakeful, I am afraid is a losing battle. I used to joke that we needed a cattle prod to keep mom from sleeping so much. Because of the amount of sleep she got she missed visitors and activities, but it is what it is.

Hubby needs to relax, pick his battles, it is much more important that mom gets the sleep she needs. Her brain is broken and old. The elderly need much more sleep than what other people consider normal. What is normal? That varies from person to person. At one time in mom's life six hours was normal as she aged it increased to ten hours, now it is 12-15 hours. Following a flu shot mom slept 20 hours out of 24 for four days following.

Your husband needs to establish a good working relationship with mom's docs. Pick his battles, sleep should not be a concern.

Is her COPD under control? Is she suffering from air hunger and is afraid to move out of her chair, even to do something pleasant like go for a ride?

I may have missed something, but I'm wondering why it is important to awaken her? If she isn't in any danger of hurting herself, is there any reason not to let her "enjoy" her deep sleep?

Does the twitching and difficult arousal happen overtime MIL falls asleep? If it does it is probably MIL's normal. If it only happens occasionally i would be concerned that she is having seizure and that should be investigated. However I believe you said all her tests come back normal. So in this case I would say"Let sleeping dogs lie" or in this case sleeping MILs

Re read your question about Drs not wanting to be bothered with the elderly. I do agree this often seems to be the case but the other side of the coin is after the testing what are they going to do with the results?
MIL has COPD and is grossly overweight. It really is too much effort to get ready and go out so why other. Why does she have to "do" anything. Sitting and watching the world go by is often interesting enough. Things are not "good' for an elderly person if there is no pleasure in it. Some exercise might be appropriate if it contributes to her health but she won't be a self starter.
A large amount of food is not essential but liquid is helpful again in reasonable amounts. Nothing is fixable at this stage so don't run the tests if you are not going to do the treatment and it is not contributing to her quality of life. it is a very hard stage to accept but try and put yourself in her position and think about what you would want.

Deep sleep is restorative...why wake her?

I agree with Babalou, I would consult with a psychiatrist and also seek a sleep study. Her primary can order the sleep study. Some people have low oxygen levels when they sleep. Do you think it's likely she would sleep with Cpap machine?

She's afraid of going back to her house, car rides or anything that takes her out of her confront zone. thanks for all the answers.