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Thanks to all who answered. There are some options to think about and some things I just have to accept. I guess I'm most concerned with making the right choices. I am prayerful woman and I know the Lord answers prayer!! God bless all of you who took time to respond.
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Reply to mygigi
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My aunt had a neighbor who was very frail in appearance. I’m sure she had a degree of dementia but she lived alone and was very independent. She would do things like boil her sheets in a huge pot on her kitchen range. She had three daughters who would take turns visiting but she wouldn’t allow them to take her to a doctor or interfere in her life. She showed signs of being scammed by a young man who would stop in to see her. Her daughters were very worried.
One day she opened her refrigerator and while standing in front of it, she just appeared to crumble. She had multiple fractures. Not from falling but because her bones were so fragile. Thankfully a daughter was there at the time and got her medical care. Sadly afterwards she was only able to sit in her chair and said she was in great pain. That daughter took her to her home located several hours away. I’ve always thought that must have been a hard trip. She was in a NH for a few months and she passed. I’m not sure how she did all those old fashioned chores she set for herself. Physical Therapy would not have helped her. Her body just reached a certain level of deterioration it seemed.
Im not saying your relative is in this condition but there probably is a fine balance on how much activity she should have.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Bad bones will just break. A lot of falls with the elderly are because a bone just broke, they didn't fall and brake a hip, the hip broke and landed them on the floor.

My doctor says osteoporosis is an epidemic in the USA.

Could it be that she is safest sitting in a wheelchair? There are other activities that help with circulation, maybe some chair yoga or a stationary bike? I would find out what her bones really look like before I insisted that she be walked. Just my opinion.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Shane1124 Sep 1, 2019
Agree with ITRR. Due to osteoporosis which is from less dense bone tissue depleted of calcium the bones can spontaneously break.

She may have no other choice than to sit. We don’t know the severity of her osteoporosis thus discuss this concern with her doctor who knows her well.
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Not sure if LO is a good candidate, but you might mention prescribing Prolia injections. My mother (89) has dementia and severe osteoporosis. She received two injections given at 6 month intervals. In addition she takes both calcium and vitamin D supplements. There are other oral substitutes, but can be difficult to swallow by the elderly to get optimal results. We try to get her to be as mobile as possible (which can help significantly to increase bone mass), but she sleeps 16 hours a day and generally sits and watches TV for the remainder of the day. It IS a challenge. She was doing strengthening exercises while recovering from breaking her hip, but now will only do them occasionally. Her next bone density test will tell the true story.

Long story short....when it comes the aging community.....everything is a challenge. It's hard to convince those with dementia to do what they resist, and harder yet for the caregiver who only has their best interest at heart. Keep pestering those at the facility. Perhaps her physician could write orders for more intensive PT for starters.
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Reply to Abby2018
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Thanks for your suggestions. She is 82 yrs old. Until she went into memory care she was in independent retirement and gettting around with a walker. Then she broke her pelvis (we don't know how bc she never fell). She has osteoporosis and weak bones. She was wheelchair bound to heal the fracture and has been in it since May 2019. (She also has other healed fractures that we have no idea how they occurred). Now that she's been in the wheelchair, she doesn't walk unless the PT comes 2x week. I have asked the administrator and caregivers to walk her 2-3 times a day. They haven't been doing it. Spoke to them again and they assured they will....I told the administrator that I could walk her when I visit but she discouraged me from doing it bc she is at risk of falling. I also think liability is an issue. I am definitely going to look into the gel cushion! Thanks again.
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Reply to mygigi
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You don't give an age here. And yes, the bones get bad. The being without mobility makes them WORSE and quickly, and this brings on all sorts of other issues of health. Often this is looking at the end stages of life. You mention she is in memory care; what other illnesses does she have. Does she see her doctor regularly? Has she been wheelchair bound for some time?
As far as what can you do NOW, TODAY, I can only think of one thing, and that is to be certain she has a good (they are EXPENSIVE) gel cushion that is hers, clearly marked in indelible Ink with her name, to sit on. Because a pressure ulcer WILL come with immobility, even in good and decent care; and they are deadly.
There is not always an answer to the slow slide at the end of life; admire you for trying. Best thing is to take your concern to her POA for health, or the guardian, then to the doc, and check if there is anything to be done, knowing that in fact there may NOT be.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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