Rehab facility is telling me my dad is refusing food, meds, oxygen. Will this hasten his death?

Rather than being uncooperative, dad is likely tired and ready to leave this life. Seniors often take a turn from which they cannot recover from after a severe illness such as dad's had. Please have a heart to heart talk with him and don't automatically assume he's not thinking clearly bc he's ready to transition. If he's able to convince you that's his true wish, then call in hospice to keep him comfy. I understand this may not be your wish, but sometimes we children don't get a say in these matters.

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.

If dad is serious about this respect his wishes. Please no feeding tube or IV's
Talk to him about what his wishes are.
He may be just tired of being sick and tired.
Contact Hospice and he will be evaluated. Let Hospice help you and him.
((Hugs))

It is difficult for us to accept and understand that our elders are often tired, exhausted by fighting for life, and wish to/are ready to go. I saw this with many patients who told me, their RN, that they could not speak honestly with families about their wish for their lives now to be over. They were forced to discuss this end of life wish with their nurses.
My own father told me that he had had a wonderful life, but was so exhausted and just longed for the last long nap.

Honor your father's wishes. Whether he is totally rational or not he sounds ready. I would ask MD for Hospice referral now and concentrate on comfort for your dad. Try to understand that while you will never be ready to lose him, he cannot stay with you forever and the best gift you can give him is telling him that. That you won't ever be ready but you will support his wishes.

I am so sorry. I know the pain firsthand. My heart goes out to you.

Have a calm conversation with him. Find out his wishes. Do not impose your wishes on him. Don't tell him he has to stay alive just for you regardless of his quality of life.

Of course it will hasten his death. But perhaps he really is tired and just wants to call it quits. Who can blame him?
I would certainly get hospice on board and if by chance he does bounce back, hospice can be stopped at any time.
This is now about your fathers wishes not yours.
God bless you both.

Yes, the refusal of oxygen, and foods will lead to his death. The meds? Depends on what they are for. Cholesterol meds? They're not doing a lot at age 89.

Why would you want him to keep hanging on? I watched my mom slog through the last 2 years of her life with a good attitude and 'enjoying' life as much as was possible in a tired, broken body, but she would have been HAPPY to die at age 85 or anything after that!

People always say "But he was in pretty good health UNTIL...(fill in the blank)...". This is what happens, People get older and some sickness, a fall, a surgery..whatever..takes them down.

To the day he died my husband said of his father "If he hadn't had Leukemia, he would still be alive." well, probably, but he DID have leukemia.

I'd respect his wishes. Being old and sick, day after day--to what end?

I hope you love your dad enough to look into Hospice care for him. At this stage, keeping him comfortable should be your greatest concern.

Let him quit.

I'm 3 years younger than your dad, and if I'd been through all that he has, I'd most likely be where he is, too. There comes a point where the body and mind simply have had enough. This may be the case especially if the older adult had been relatively active and healthy before a major adverse health event occurred and is now contemplating a remaining life of increasing helplessness and dependency.

By our mid to late 80s+, most humans have pretty much done what we're going to do in life; we are likely experiencing physical and mental decline and will continue to do so although no one can predict the trajectory. It should be each individual's right to approach end-of-life with as much comfort and dignity as possible--under what are, for the elder and family, difficult circumstances.

Did your dad have a healthcare directive, or did he ever verbally express his wishes for end-of-life care? If so, these could be a guide. IMO, it is time to call in Hospice. As I see it comfort, cleanliness and dignity are the most important considerations for him now.

Rehab is useless for him at this point. Ask your Dad if he would consider going back to the hospital. If not , I would do hospice.
My FIL is 89, has had 3 identical near death episodes in the last 6 months. He is in rehab again, He is telling us no more trips to the hospital because it lands him in rehab . He just wants to rest .

I have to agree that Dad has been thru a lot. Pneumonia will cause delirium and for a while after its been cleared up. This is usually what happens, one day they are doing well, and the next day they aren't. Their bodies can no longer fight the infections ur Dad has.

No, the facility cannot force him to do anything. Rehab also is not Skilled Nursing. If he is still showing signs of pneumonia and maybe sepsis, I would have him taken back to the hospital. If the facility won't do it, u call an ambulance.

A pause ox of 80 is serious. At his age, I would not suggest a feeding tube unless they can say its just to get over a hump but not to keep him alive. My DD an RN does not recommend them in the elderly. Pneumonia in the elderly is also serious as is sepsis. Again, this facility is not skilled nursing, call the ambulance. Then if the Hospital says there is no more to be done, call in Hospice.

If ur having a problem sending him to a hospital, I will tell you what my DD, who was an admitting RN in Rehab told me. Medicare tells Hospitals when they need to discharge. They send patients to Rehabs still sick and Rehabs are not equipped to care for these patients. When patients are discharged to Rehab, its for PT and OT not skilled nursing. My daughter has sent patients back to the Hospital where I think your Dad needs to be.