So when you say the facility is telling you that your mother can't live alone... Are you actually talking about one off-the-cuff remark from a physical therapist who doesn't consider your mother her star patient?
To repeat: your mother should discuss her care plan with the facility's social worker or other discharge planner. Your role, if your mother wants you to attend the meeting, is to be on your mother's side while being realistic about what resources and support are available to her.
So, for example, if she says there aren't any stairs at home to worry about, but you know this is a little white lie because she's afraid stairs might be a deal-breaker, you discuss ways round dealing with stairs. You don't join in with the lie. That sort of thing. Be your mother's realistic best friend.
I would discuss the details of why the facility thinks that she is not able to live alone. Sometimes, a senior thinks that they can function, despite enormous disability, but, their thinking may be magical and it's not realistic. I'd explore the situation and see just how feasible it really is.
You say that mom is mentally fine, but, I'd look at things other than just how she appears at visits and her memory. Things like judgment and thought processing are also important. Is she able to ask for help rather than take unnecessary risks in her home? How many other health problems does she have? Can she manage them?
Of course, if she is competent, there isn't much you can do, but honor her decision, however, if the facility thinks she not able to live alone, they may not release her to go home, if there is an insufficient home care plan. I might discuss what they think she WOULD need to make living alone at home a workable option. They may have information about her progress that helps shed light on the matter.
Had you been concerned with her living alone before she went into the hospital? And, how old is she? Has she considered how surgery can impact a senior?
Mentally my mom is fine. She had stomach surgery in Sept and didn't bounce back very well, resulting in inability to take full advantage of PT/OT. She needs a knee replacement and since she has been bed ridden for a few months her muscles are weak. So her struggle is with weak muscles and bad knee. PT advised us that she will never be able to live alone but she is determine to at least care for herself. If she believes she can do it I want to assist her. I'm not sure if i'm being unrealistic. Insurance will pay for 6 weeks of care but after that she is on her own.
So you let her stay there until she CAN walk. The patients that I have seen go home were ones that would push themselves and repeat the PT on their own throughout the day. If she has the memory and determination, she can do this.
Rehab was telling me that my husband had to be there permanently --as nursing home. A big meeting with all these professionals were facing us. I asked one to come in to the hall with me. I said he is fine at home . Why change the are wwe have. They said he was declining. I answered that being there was the reason he was declining. He'd be bac to his old self once he was at home awhile. They said he was not safe at home. I had tears in my eyes, meaning I was really angry. I said I am taking him home the next day! They threatened that a doctor could say I could not take him home. Also I found another family in the same boat. Both of us took our spouses home. chris
Mom's rehab facility should be advising Mom that she can't live alone - seeing as it's Mom's decision to make, I assume? I'm not sure what they're expecting you to do about it, unless it's established that your mother lacks mental capacity and you are acting for her.
But in any case, your mother's options are not limited to EITHER going home alone OR staying permanently in this particular facility. There are other facilities, and there are also all kinds of home care services and home adaptations. Talk to your mother about what she wants to do, and develop a care plan that gets as close to it as possible.
Could you have an independent assessment done by her own doctor? Could the VNA visit her home and get her back on on her feet? After my mother had surgery last January she went to rehab for 20 days then they sent the VNA (covered by medicare, not sure if that is applicable in your case) to asses her for Phy Therapy, Occupation Therapy and Nurse visit which lasted through April. She did get back up on her feet but remained living with me.
Are her expectations of walking reasonable? Is this her only disability or does she have mental decline too?
I think that I would determine just what her condition is, prognosis, etc.. and then see what level of care she will need. If it's NH, AL, etc. Or if she can live with a family member. I'd be sure to be reasonable with your resources if you decide to bring her home. People with mobility issues may require lots of special care and devices, transportation, etc.
I don't think there are many people who jump for joy when they are informed they need to be in a nursing home so her resistance is understandable. Is there a possibility she could come home with family and paid support?
So when you say the facility is telling you that your mother can't live alone... Are you actually talking about one off-the-cuff remark from a physical therapist who doesn't consider your mother her star patient?
To repeat: your mother should discuss her care plan with the facility's social worker or other discharge planner. Your role, if your mother wants you to attend the meeting, is to be on your mother's side while being realistic about what resources and support are available to her.
So, for example, if she says there aren't any stairs at home to worry about, but you know this is a little white lie because she's afraid stairs might be a deal-breaker, you discuss ways round dealing with stairs. You don't join in with the lie. That sort of thing. Be your mother's realistic best friend.
You say that mom is mentally fine, but, I'd look at things other than just how she appears at visits and her memory. Things like judgment and thought processing are also important. Is she able to ask for help rather than take unnecessary risks in her home? How many other health problems does she have? Can she manage them?
Of course, if she is competent, there isn't much you can do, but honor her decision, however, if the facility thinks she not able to live alone, they may not release her to go home, if there is an insufficient home care plan. I might discuss what they think she WOULD need to make living alone at home a workable option. They may have information about her progress that helps shed light on the matter.
Had you been concerned with her living alone before she went into the hospital? And, how old is she? Has she considered how surgery can impact a senior?
But in any case, your mother's options are not limited to EITHER going home alone OR staying permanently in this particular facility. There are other facilities, and there are also all kinds of home care services and home adaptations. Talk to your mother about what she wants to do, and develop a care plan that gets as close to it as possible.
Funnygirl, are you coming back?
I think that I would determine just what her condition is, prognosis, etc.. and then see what level of care she will need. If it's NH, AL, etc. Or if she can live with a family member. I'd be sure to be reasonable with your resources if you decide to bring her home. People with mobility issues may require lots of special care and devices, transportation, etc.
I don't think there are many people who jump for joy when they are informed they need to be in a nursing home so her resistance is understandable. Is there a possibility she could come home with family and paid support?