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About a month ago, I got mom from India to stay with me for a few months and then get the green card process started. But no matter what I do to make her happy here, mom is pining away for her AL place , her friends and routine in India. I think she has lost weight here too and I feel bad for taking her away from her familiar surroundings.


I guess I will take her back to India and abandon the green card idea for now - just feel so sad about the whole thing. I worry about her when she's in India and then when she stays with me here, we just argue and fight about her going back, her lack of hygiene etc etc. she doesn't brush or take a bath daily but then smells. Mom says I yell at her ...I do raise my voice when she asks me the same thing for the 10th time daily..


I guess the guilt in bringing her here made me write this post.


(((Some background: Mom lives in a AL in India which works only for people mentally sharp. The staff provides only light housekeeping. So Mom forgets to turn the washing machine on, leaves leftover food (this led to rats) out, forgets to flush the toilet well etc etc.


Btw, I was planning to get expensive private insurance if she got the green card.)))


Thanks for listening.....


Wren

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Sorry it didn't work out. One idea would be to add a private caregiver to help her after she returns to India (if she/you can afford it).
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wren9184 Sep 16, 2018
Yeah....I have to think strongly about it.Thank you.
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That must be tough for you. Is there a large Indian community in you area? Where I live in Canada, there are several communities with established Indian neighbourhoods, where the foods, language, music, clothing, temples, etc are all available.

My step-Dad is Indian and recently diagnosed with dementia (I do not know what type). Although he has lived in Canada since he was an older teen (he is 84), the foods/treats of his childhood make him happy. So when I go to Vancouver I try to take the time to shop at the Punjabi Market to buy him treats.

His family that have brought aged parents over, have kept them at home (In Canada and the USA) and had caregivers of Indian descent, who can converse in the parent's language, come in to provide care. His own mother lived on the family farm in India with live in care givers to look after her in the family home.

Perhaps with your mother she needs a nursing home instead of assisted living?
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Ah, Wren, sorry to hear this. Your mom is lucky to have such a loving child.
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wren9184 Sep 16, 2018
Thanks- I get my inspiration from everyone here.
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