Regretting coming to live with me. What can I do?

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Doesnt understand why she came ,whenever I spoke to her she would be crying and how lonely she is and wishes she was dead .

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She was unhappy when in her own home, too. She is depressed, and needs medication and counselling. On this site, you will discover a hundred people whose loved one turned around once they got the correct medication.

You need to understand that it may be impossible to "make her happy." That's what we want to do, but sometimes, when someone is old or in pain or dying, it may require divine intervention. You can keep her safe, make sure she is physically and medically taken care of, and let her know you love her. If you do all that and she's still unhappy, you have done your best and you need to leave her happiness in God's hands.

Your emotional task is to sit beside her in her unhappiness, and let her know you care. God bless you as you do this hard job.
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Ask her doctor about putting her on an anti~anxiety med. like Buspar (non~addicting). My mom's doc put her on that a month ago and it was like night and day difference! The effect was dramatic, and made it so much easier to deal with her. (I could help but think, wow, she should have been on this years ago!)
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Sounds like adjustment period is needed and it will take patience on your part. Have frank conversation with her and ask her what she wants and what would make things better. Will she be happier back in her home with in home caregiver assistance? Is she open to hiring regular help? Is she willing to see you less if she moves back? These are the discussions you need to have with her.

Secondly, try to get her involved in activities, local senior center...make her go. Maybe first day or so, you go with her, get involved in a card game, exercise class or lunch there. She will follow along or just stand there and watch if she ornery but do it anyway. Strike up conversation with director and other seniors there.
They sometimes run a bus and will pick her up.

Next, get involved in church senior groups where she can meet new friends. Start a book club or bridge lunch, etc where you can invite some other women her age to come for lunch, dinner whatever (some dont like to drive at night) or happy hour and serve light refreshments, where she can develop new friends and new activities and can slowly let go of her old situation and develop new habits.

You might also get her counseling with someone with expertise dealing with elders and their issues.

Good luck and I hope she comes around in time. I think she will.
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Her room is decorated with lots of memories . I feel I took her independence away but for the three weeks before we moved her when I would call her she was crying and saying she wishes she was dead and she was so lonely so I thought moving her to my house would make her happy
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I think you may be talking about your mother or mother-in-law, perhaps?

Do you have her room decorated with her favored possessions? We found this to be very helpful with my Mom.
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So sad to get old, I am sorry to hear this. Does she think she is a burden on you or does she just want to go home?
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I don't know who you're talking about, but it definitely sounds like this person is depressed and may need help medication-wise and possibly counseling. Maybe with a little more information - we can give you better advice. Good luck!!
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