Follow
Share

How do I get my mom to bathe? I’ve tried saying how good she’ll feel, etc and she se simply won’t bathe. It offends her if I ask and she will actually get quite mean (or even cry) if I ask. I’ve tried being direct and sweet and nothing works. Her hair is knotted and she does not smell fresh. What should we try?

Thank you everyone. Yes, she has huge fear of falling. We do have a shower chair in there and I always offer to help her get settled and then give her private time.

Years ago she would’ve been mortified to be in public looking and smelling like she does.

thank you for the reminder that it must be exhausting and her skin is tender. She really very rarely showers (she doesn’t live with me), so i guess I was hoping she could get up the energy once in a while.

I want to help her go through theses stages with some dignity and grace and I’m totally failing.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Sarahk60
Report

With Luz, my DW, we have a step in tub and she loved it. She quit using the shower for some reason and we quit using the regular tub when we had trouble getting her up. As for the hair, I would take her to a beauty shop and have it taken care of. This required a little shopping around to find a good one.
Maybe you can find one for his hair.
Bath wipes were used between regular baths. Or just a warm wash cloth and the bath room sink.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to OldSailor
Report

Sarahk60, sometimes we need to stop and view this situation from the other person's side. Now that I am in my 70's, I can relate to why as we age that bathing/showering can be far and few between.

Bathing/showering can be very exhausting. It's like a workout at a gym. There is nothing that can change the physical feeling one has afterwards. Getting ready for the shower/bath... the washing up and washing one's hair.... the balancing act of trying to towel dry without falling... then combing and blow drying the hair can be tiring on elder arms... then re-dressing.... whew !!

There is also the huge fear of falling. I never worried about falling when I was younger, but I sure do now.... even with a bathmat inside the tub. This is a time where a bath chair comes in handy so one doesn't feel like they would tumble. Professionally installed grab bars are helpful for getting in and out of the tub/shower.

Some folks with Alzheimer's/dementia do not like how the shower water feels on their body. One needs to remember our skins starts to thin as we get older so that could be the reason, the water drops feel harder.

Here's an idea for between showers.... baby wipes which can be used all over the body. Find some that have a nice scent.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to freqflyer
Report

Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn
Report

I have the same problem with my husband. Looking forward to advice. This is very frustrating.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Worriedspouse
Report

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter