Ok, my mil, with Dementia LOVES daycare. This surprised us! But, having a nurse come into the home is another story. This is my only respite care, as it is just our family, with 3 kids (19, 15 and 11). My bil is REFUSING to help us, although he lives next door, and we have moved in to help mil. Their move next door is recent. We have lived here a year and uprooted everything. We moved because there was no other choice, bil said he wouldn't take care of her, he'd rather have her in a home. Now, the daycare is going great, she goes 3 times a week. BUT...it is only during the days. My issues is afternoon and evening, as that is when my kids have sports and activities. We've missed a year of sports and school. Now, we had the home nurse come in and my mil was "ok" with it. But, then the nurse actually came to sit with her. My mil was SO mad. My husband explained to her the why's etc...she was pleasant enough to the nurse, but when she left, my mil was livid the rest of the night. Says that she can be home by herself and she doesn't need us. Although we even explained that it was for our peace of mind, so she doesn't fall and we said the other option is to run all over with me with the kids. I thought we did good, but how do I cope with the anger and the mean personality after? Tonight we have somebody for 3 hours and instead of looking forward to time away and not to worry, I am dreading it. We can have up to 20 hours of home care, but am only taking 12, and this is hard enough. Aaargh. Also, how do we get bil to see how important it is for us, to have this extra help, and to step up? Wish we could split "custody" with him, lol!