Refusal to go to rehab... any advice? - AgingCare.com

Refusal to go to rehab... any advice?

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Mom has been laid up with illness, still healing, including an already short stint at the "Nursing Home" (Rehab) with a return to the hospital. She was on the razor edge of being judged incompetent due to her lack of coorperation just before the last time she was transferred and insistant that she wouldn't go (but caved at the last minute). Before anyone has even mentioned going "home" she is seemingly back to absolute refusal to go to rehab. Her fear is she will never leave and she mistakenly indicated she was already there yesterday... She is ANGRY and can be very mean and hurtful. There seems no reasoning with her (with anyone) and I can find no way to ease her mind that we are trying to get her home (safely).

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Your profile says Mom is living at home. Your home? Her home? Does she have in-home care? She isn't living alone is she?

Is there any chance that she will graduate from rehab to a nursing home or other care center, as she fears?

Is she supposed to go to an actual rehab situation, or is this transitional care just to get rest and regain some strength? Would she be getting physical therapy? Other treatment? Would she be going to a place where they understand and have experience with dementia?

The first time my husband was hospitalized after he developed dementia, I agreed to have him discharged to a Transitional Care Unit. Having seen how little they knew about dementia and how long it took them to get up-to-speed on his care plan, I turned down TCU after subsequent hospitalizations.

There is no reasoning with your Mom. She has dementia. Her ability to reason is greatly diminished. The poor dear is frightened, and she may have reason to be.

Tantailus, do you have medical POA (healthcare proxy) for Mom? That is the person who can decide whether she will go to rehab or not.
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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Can she rehab at home? Have therapist come there.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Can she rehab at home? Have therapist come there.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Your mom may really be in fear that she will be in the NH for the rest of her life. She does have cause for concern for this., some NH, try to make the experience of being there so "nice" that the resident does not want to return home and would rather stay there.

NH get the bulk of their business from patients coming from the hospital for rehab before returning home. It is in their best interest from a business standpoint to try to make as much off the patient/resident as they legally can.
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Reply to shad250
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I’m a little confused over where Mom is now. Is she in a nursing home, rehab or a hospital? And she would be, at some point, competent to go home? Alone or to someone else’s home?

I would guess that a lot of her uncooperative behavior is due to fear. When we get older, the last thing we want is to be sick, poked and prodded by strangers (even well-meaning ones) and yanked out of our home. It makes one crabby and distrustful.

On the other hand, if Mom has been tested and found to be borderline incompetent, can she honestly return home? Mind and body issues are a double whammy.

Talk to her care team and find out what their plan is for Mom. My mother wasn’t very cooperative either, from hunger strikes to outright combativeness. The staff at the NH dealt with it. Once you find out what the plan for Mom is, you can do your best (with the support of her Care Team) to speak with Mom about future plans.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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