My dad (79 years) suffers from Parkinson's with Lewy Body dementia.
He is still lucid and fairly cheerful on his good days and then is essentially the wonderful dad I knew and grew up with, just a bit older with some motor troubles. But other times, he gets confused and sometimes agitated (the agitation is more at night, and more recent), and it's awful to watch. What bothers me the most is that I don't know how to connect with or help him during those times.

He lives with my mom, and she often is still able to take care of him, but it's becoming too much and my brothers and I (who live elsewhere) would like to give her back some of her time and balance while still giving my dad the care and attention he needs and deserves. He can still have conversations with people (quieter environments are best) and I'd really like to allow him to keep using that part of his faculties in addition to the more purely health-related assistance he may need.

We don't want to move him to a facility, but I don't know enough about the available options. People have mentioned a home health aide / nurse, and/or adult day care to get him out of the house. I want to make sure that he's not just sitting in a room with no one to engage him, but I also think he would need somewhere more specialized than one of the "social" adult day care centers I know some of my friend's parents and grandparents have been sent to. I'm also open to other options.

They live in downtown Boston, MA. Any insights or recommendations are very welcome! Thank you for your time.

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The Adult Day Health Program that my husband attended a few days a week had lots of activities and time for social interaction, and also respected my husband's decision not to participate in everything. It was an extremely good respite program for me. He had LBD but was able to function in the mainstream section. By the time he needed to transition to the memory care unit he needed too much one-on-one attention. The facility now has 3 levels -- one for moderate dementia and one for more severe. If they'd had that when he used it perhaps the more severe level would have served.

Most offer transportation to and from, a light breakfast (cereal, for example -- not cooked eggs) and a hot lunch. Ours would provide a shower and had toenail care available on a schedule. We didn't need that, but such services might be helpful to your mother.

After he could no longer function in the day care program, we had a personal care attendant for 32 hours a week. This, too, was awesome! But I do think the a good day program is a better choice if it can be worked out.

BTW, my husband was in 3 different programs. The first was fine, but closed. The second was way too "bossy" and structured for our comfort. The 3rd was absolutely perfect. So do check around. And don't be afraid to switch to another place if the one you select at first isn't a good fit.
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