Recently became primary caregiver to mom who I have'nt seen in four years. Feeling guilty because I don't like my mom. Any advice?


I'm trying hard to love her.

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You don't have to love her. You don't have to like her. You don't even have to take care of her. Whatever you feel, you don't need to feel guilty about it. You can't will yourself to love someone. Maybe your feelings for her will warm over time, and maybe they won't. It's okay. You are a good person to take care of a parent you're not close to and don't have warm feelings for. It's a difficult thing to do.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to CarlaCB

If you recognize up front what the obstacles are, you can be better prepared for them. But be aware that frustration and possibly hostility may be byproducts of caring for someone you don't like.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to GardenArtist

In what sense are you here caregiver? Is she living with you, or you with her?

Are you doing hands on care?

What led you to not see her for 4 years?

What are mom's impairments? No one person can care for a dementia patient 24/7 without burning out, if dementia is one of mom's issues.

Please come back and let us know some details; you'll get better answers.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to BarbBrooklyn