I'm receiving calls from work that is adding stress, while I'm busy traveling to a Trauma Hospital for my Mom. How do I tell my boss?

Look at caller ID. Don't take the call.

The call was on my cell phone, from a number I did not recognize. All Mom's doctors/nurses/caregivers....call me on my cell phone, so I had to answer.

Pre-empt your co-worker. If your boss isn't aware of your situation, explain it to her/him and reiterate that you'll take care of your work if you have to work overtime for free or come in on the weekend. That's what I've done.

Add that you are concerned the person who called you might feel that you're taking advantage of the situation, not keeping up with your work (whatever you think might be behind the call), and reassure your boss that you're still committed to doing everything you're responsible for.

Then go to the person who called you and tell him/her you're so thankful for his/her concern during this very stressful time. You might also suggest that you and he/she discuss what other issues might come up to agree on solutions ahead of time so that he/she can continue his/her work when you need to be absent.

But make him/her feel as though you really thought the call was helpful. Then he/she might not do it again, if in fact "checking up on you" was the motive.

Tell your co-worker that your Mother needs your full attention while you are with her and the phone calls are distracting. Tell her not to call unless it is a true emergency. Routine office questions are not emergencies. If she persists, notify your boss and human resources and let them know she is harassing you and creating a hostile work environment. Dont forget to document your conversations with her. You could also bring her a souvenir from you trips....rubber gloves, lubricant, tongue depressors. :)

GardenArtist the call was very annoying and not necessary. This co-worker thinks I should put my Mom in and Nursing Home. He's very self centered and has an ageing father and talks horribly about his own father. He thinks the god's gift to the office and I try to stay away from him when I'm at work. This problem isn't going to go away, and I'm going to have to address it. Mom & I have at least 2 more travel trips to the Trauma Hospital. Right now, he's ragging about his Dad.

When you get a call and its from the co-worker, just say in a stern voice "I can't talk now, leave a message on my voice mail" and hang-up. Don't engage the co-worker in any conversation.

If you do not recognize the number do not answer. You were with mom what else could have been important?

If it is that urgent, they will leave voice mail. Or leave instruction to send a text message and you will respond when able.

Or turn off the phone, then check it hourly.

I am sorry I can't talk now they are just taking mom's tube out and she throwing up worst I have every seen. its green with big brown lumps and the smell............and cover the phone and make puking noises.

Sorry everyone enjoy your dinner. A little tripe tonight capt?

I will admit this is one of my pet peeves! People that just cannot live without their phones.

Sent fro, my iPhone 5. that is what they are up to, isn't it? LOL!

gladimhere, you and me both, same pet peeve.... you'd think if one's phone isn't charged they are going to miss some earthy event.

I work at a company that is very careful about these things. It's a huge liability issue for them. It could consitute harrassment, if you had requested the time off, and had received approval. Mistakes happen, sometimes not everyone is notified, and inadvertendly someone is contacted who shouldn't be. Or someone has taken time off, but forgot to tie up a loose end, and needs to be contacted for that reason.
Ask your boss to notify everyone, or send an email out letting people know you're not available due to a family situation. If this is an ongoing issue, and you have an HR department, you might want to call their attention to it -- not in a litigious, threatening way necessarily, but this is something all companies should take seriously.

Let any call not ID'd on your phone go to voicemail. Check it every evening. Call the next day around noon.

Now that you have his number, save it under contacts as NITWIT..

Lori, thanks for the explanation. After reading it, I agree with the others posters. If this guy becomes a problem, let your boss and/or HR know. May as well get it in his personnel file.

Best wishes for a successful outcome at the hospital.

Do you have FMLA? If not, get it!!! At my job in a major hospital they cannot even question you if you call out for it. That should shut down the co worker. You should be able to get if the Dr says you need to be there, I have never had any problem. I can even call out if the weather is bad and the CG cannot come

Yes I do have FMLA and it doesn't expire until 6/23/2015, almost a year left.

I thought FMLA was only good for 12 weeks within one calendar year? Back when I had cancer I was glad that FMLA was available for me, plus my company had something like Aflac where I was able to part of the regular salary. So be careful when using FMLA for caring for a parent/spouse, you don't want to use it all up in case you need it for yourself.

I didn't know there was a limit! Well, I haven't said anything yet. I don't want to approach this in a negative manner, so giving myself time to cool down. Most importantly, I'm waiting for feedback from all of you! The co-worker is high strung and has alot of negativity.

Co-worker needs a slap in the face. Just because he is being a turd and doesn't give two hoots about his father doesn't mean he has any right to pretend you should not care about yours. As in, "you know, I've felt sorry for you, not having any better relationship with your dad than you do - but I care very much about my mom and want to and need to be there for her. MOST people in our situations are more like me than like you. When I am with her in the hospital it is to priority in my life and things that can wait need to wait. I have already spoken to our boss about this. He (She) understands, and I hope maybe you could too."

I just found some more info on FMLA http://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/

This is a serious matter, and I really would like your feedback. I'm tired, and I'm trying to collect myself before I say one word to my boss.

Lori, when he calls again, and you answer the phone, tell him simply, "I'm off now. That can wait until I get back to work. If not, then check with so-and-so (supervisor). Please stop calling me on my days off." Then hang up.

If he calls you the 2nd time, step out to the hall, and then immediately call either HR or your boss who approved your leave. Explain the situation and say that you really need to concentrate on your mom's medical needs at the HOSPITAL. And if so-and-so (another coworker) can help him (the caller) with the problem? Most employers would perk up at the word "hospital" - because that implies Seriousness. And you're on leave now. So you shouldn't be bothered unless it's an emergency.

FMLA is good for 12 weeks a year, but you do not have to use it all at once. It can be a day to two, then more later. I only use about 5 days of my 12 weeks a year,,, but its good to have.

I hear no thing but denial?

The first thing your boss is going to say is, "Did you tell him not to call you?"

So. Did you?

Another thing you might do, instead of complaining to your boss, make it a more innocent call. Tell your boss, "Mr. X has called me a number of times and caught me at very inconvenient times. I have to answer my phone because I'm expecting calls from doctors. He's got a number of questions about his job. May I ask him to call you with those?"

Assuming he'll say yes, call your co-worker, tell him you've spoken to your boss, and that, if he has any further questions, he's to call HIM. If he has the nerve to call you again, refer him to the boss.

There must be some way to identify your company on your phone when this guy calls...the exchange, the area code, something. Find out what it is and stop answering. If it's something that important, the person will leave a voicemail.

I would be frank with this coworker. People are amazing aren't they? Ask them if they would like to switch places. It's so much fun to fly these days and deal with someone in the hospital. I would point that out to them. They need a reality check that isn't a "vacation" and you would rather be at work and your mother be at home.

1. Keep track of the calls. Write down when he called and what he wanted/needed, also what you told him. This documents his actions.
2. Speak with Human Resources about Family Leave, how it applies in your company, and what your rights and responsibilities are. Get the policy in writing.
3. Meet with your supervisor/boss and let him/her know the situation and how you are handling your work. Nicely state that you have met with HR to be clear as to what you can and cannot do.
4. Let your boss/supervisor know that you received a call from the co-worker while you were away and you would like an agreement with the boss/supervisor regarding who it is the coworker is to go to if he has a question or concern about any work product while you are out of the office. Although this applies currently to your situation with your parent, in most places I've worked there is a protocol as to whom you are to address questions if your coworker or supervisor is not available.
5. Do you have friends in the office? If so, casually, over lunch, give them some insight into what is happening with your parent and your dedication to completing your work. It sounds as though a number of people need to let the coworker know that his remarks about his father are not acceptable.
6. AGAIN, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT everything that happens.
7. If your company has an Employee Assistance/Counseling Program, make an appt. Let them know that you are under quite a bit of stress and that you want to learn some ways of coping during this challenging time.

If the call is from work while you are attending to the medical needs of a loved one, send it to voicemail and get back to them when it is convenient for you. My last job, I made it clear that my family came first. They either accepted it or I would have looked for another job. Caring for your mom has priority. You can get back to them after you are finished with the doctors