I need to be prepared when I approach my Mom on the subject. She was just released from an AL facility. She talked her surgion into persuading charge Dr at AL into releasing her without talking to family. Now she is at home and not really able to care for herself in a satisfactory way. She has gone downhill since her return home. My sister had been careing for her last few years although not living with her Si shad her leg amputated several weeks ago and is not very mobile yet so she had a couple of Teenagers move into moms home so she could go home with someone there. Sounds like trouble Mom lives in one of our homes and i feel underminded by not being approached first. So feelinsg of course r involved but my sister and i both agree mom is not doing well and we are concerned for her. Sis does her cheackbook but it has been difficult for her since her own health decline. I dont know what to do mom wont budge she has been given many opportunities to come and live with me but wont because i wont have her dog in my house. It is not trained and goes all over house. Help! Please

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Have your mom move into your home & bend on the dog issue for now. Once she is in your home, obtain the POA . I wouldn't let a dog stand between me and my mother when she could be better cared for in your home. Time to choose your battles, in my opinion, and offer to potty train the dog for her.
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There are many different types of a POA and I would just approach your mom in the manner of, "Mom, there will come a time when you are unable to make decisions we should make preparations for that time. I think we should sit down with an attorney and make sure you have all of the necessary documents."

That is how I would approach it There is more to aging than just POA's. You do need POA's but what about a will or even a living will? There are things that can be done to protect her home from being taken my medicare or medicaid should she have to go to a home at some point. Seeking legal advice as one ages is really important otherwise it can create a mess.

I would recommend a gentle approach to get her to speak with an attorney.

Of course if she is not cooperating, you can always hire legal council to seek legal guardianship by claiming she is incompetent.

You may also want to sit down with an attorney and seek his or her advice first.

I know in my own situation, I spoke with some attornies to know my rights because I had some sisters trying to pull some things behind my back. My older sister thought she snuck it past everyone by getting a POA at the attorney's office. My mom landed in the hospital last October and we learned then that the POA my sister had was for finances and signatures, but there was no Medical POA. So the social worker did a medical POA and I now hold that POA, which I know my mom is very relieved about.

The reason is because my older sister would allow her husband to have forced my mom into a home, but I am not that way. I will stand and fight to make sure mom does not go to a nursing home. Mom knows that I will take her places and find ways to make things happen where as my other sisters won't.

So I would seek your own legal advice and then make the same recommendation. Sometimes a gentle approach is the best approach.
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