Really confused & uncertain about what type of support I should look for.

An answer to your question may depend on your financial resources. I manage care for my 2 aunts, ages 98 and 101, in their home. Several years ago the younger one started manifesting dementia, the older sister clear as a bell and was (and still is!) her caregiver. But she was resistant to outside help (from Italian-American immigrant family, where you took care of "your own"). But I live a thousand miles away. I patiently made the case to start "some" in-home help and she accepted it. Mostly a companion from an agency. Eight years later they still have the caregiver and it's been wonderful. The point I'm making is for you to start "practicing" having outside help now while you yourself are mentally and physically able to manage it. My aunts cycled through a few people before they struck gold with their current "Angel" (because she's from Visiting Angels agency). A companion is the least-expensive level of care. They can do light housework, do some food prep, drive you places (medical appts, errands, just for fun) and entertain your wife while you get a break. I cannot recommend this too much for you and your wife. I wish you all the best!

Dementia doesn't go along a smooth and unchanging path. Every day is brand new and filled with ever changing behaviors which catch us off guard. You just don't know WHAT the heck to expect! My 93 year old mother has been acting incoherent for the most part with her dementia for months now. But this past week, she's almost back to her old self...its unreal. Now tomorrow may be a whole new issue to deal with, who knows?

So I'm not sure what your question is? It sounds like you need help and support all the time, regardless if your LO is having a rough time or an easy time. Hire help for X amount of time per week and give YOURSELF a break. Dementia is an exhausting thing to deal with.

Good luck!