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My husband & I are 80 & my 58 y/o Daughter is in final stages of liver & colon cancer. But she is still independent & does not want to go to a facility since she is so young...but is having problems getting approved for an apartment on her disability income, tho she would be able to afford the rent. They want a co-signer and we certainly cannot sign such, at our age! To add to the problem, our house is too small for her to live with us. Any suggestions would really be appreciated.

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(((Hugs)))) and my sympathies.

Is she on Hospice?

Who would provide care for her if she is in an apartment?

Is she being realistic about what her future holds?
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If she's able to afford the rent, and you know that, why can't you co sign for your daughter?? That seems like the easiest answer in a difficult situation. Compromises have to be made somewhere, right?

My condolences on this diagnosis for your daughter. Best of luck
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sp19690 Jun 2022
Because as her condition deteriorates she may not be able to afford the rent and then the parents will be on the hook for it. That is what cosigning is. You assume the debt if the person cant pay.
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Who is going to be her caregiver during her final months?
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Have you looked for apartments that are specifically for adults 55+ that offer limited short term leases (6 month renewal etc) that also work with adults that can still live independent? My mom refuses to go to assisted living (She's too young at 88) her apartment is for 55+ and the support agencies (Hospice, Transportation, etc) work with them on getting what they need in terms of care.
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None of us know the financial situation of the OP and her husband, none of us know if the disability pay is really enough to cover rent for the places the daughter is seeking, and none of us know what the relationship history is here (it could be not so good). She has said they cannot sign, and we need to respect that and stick to her actual question. I'm sure their situation is hard enough.
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sp19690 Jun 2022
This is a great answer. There are too many unknowns.
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A terminal patient's wishes aren't necessarily orders to be followed blindly If they are illogical and unrealistic. It seems that the daughter is in denial and probably thinks that if she rents her own apartment she can delay her death indefinitely. Most likely she will die before her lease expires and her parents will end up in financial troubles. She needs to be on hospice care right away. The problem about housing will have to resolved differently to her unrealistic plans.
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I am shocked by the downright cold-hearted responses on this thread. Especially from you, sp19690 because you usually make sense and give pretty sound and realistic advice.
Please let me ease your mind though. No one is asking these two 80-year olds to empty out their bank accounts. Their cancer-stricken daughter can pay her own rent as the OP mentions, but needs a co-signer for her new housing.
I don't know if you have any kids, but I would move heaven and earth for my son now. If he was terminally ill and needed a place to live I'd fight down the Devil himself and so would his father.
Tchamp, I am so shocked by your response that I was near speechless. About the daughter likely dying before the apartment lease is up. OMG, dude you are truly shameless.
So what if her two 80-year old parents lose some money. God help us all with the responses on this thread. Absolutely disgusting.
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sp19690 Jun 2022
i dont think the OP provided enough details and we are all advising based on our own financial situations and biases.
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Don’t sign! Your daughter should be lovingly told that the reality is she needs to go where she will be taken care of whether she is old enough or not. She is certainly sick enough, and that’s what matters here.
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lealonnie1 Jun 2022
How about what matters is the daughters last wishes for how SHE wants to spend her last days on Earth? I'd clean out my bank acct for my DD if she was dying, which would NOT be the case here since the daughter can afford the rent. She only needs SUPPORT. The parents can go over daily to look in on her, too.
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If the parents cosign that means they will be on the hook for the rent payments should the daughter pass while still renting.

If the parents can afford to make the rent per the lease then cosign. If it would put you in a financial bind then do not cosign.
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While it isn't optimal the sad truth is that your daughter may only be able to afford a room at this point, or a roommate situation. You say she is in the final stages, and if not now, care in facility with hospice may be an option. I am so sorry for this dire situation.
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