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My dad lives with me and currently pays half of all the living expenses (rent, groceries, and utilities.) He has an aide three times a weeks for four hours a day (mostly for bathing.) I feed him breakfast everyday. I leave sandwiches, fruit and a dessert for his lunch everyday. I make him dinner every night. I do all the grocery shopping and whatever is left of his laundry after the aide leaves. I have had to change his sheets if the aide did not. I take care of all of his medications. I make sure to set up any appointments he needs, doctor or otherwise. I take him for a haircut every few weeks. I take him to the church and diner every Sunday. I take care of all of his bills and finances, including getting his taxes done. I do all of this, on top of my full-time job in NYC, being a single mom to 10-year old twins, and trying to still have a life outside of all of this responsibility. It is all quite overwhelming. I was wondering, if my dad's condition ever escalated to the point where he would need full-time care, would I be able to collect any benefits if I quite my job to be his full-time caretaker? Or, would I be able to "charge" him for services?

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Dad's gifts to his sons sound perfectly reasonable to me. It doesn't sound like he would have alienated those sons. Don't quit your day job and step into this. If you are needing a change in your own situation, I don't think this is the way for you to go.
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I am not looking to live off of my father and most likely would have to at least get a part-time job closer to home...but he has basically alienated most of the family and no one but me is stepping in to help him. He is refusing to go into assisted living. He may not have a choice down the road...but I am trying to weigh all my options. He is also giving money away...money he should not be giving away...and I think that will hurt his chances of filing for medicaid, which he would have to do for long-term care. I have tried to explain this to him so many times and he just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand why he cannot give his son money for his wedding or help his other son with tools needed for his job. Try explaining this to someone with multiple strokes.
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Try to get him to Assisted Living, and keep your job. Your future is very important, you need to keep working.
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Could he afford to pay you? Who is now paying for the aide? If you quit your job and take care of him full time, who takes care of you and your kids? How will you earn credits for your own future retirements under Social Security and Medicare? Consider getting him more paid help or Assisted Living, rather than wrapping up your life and that of your kids around his needs.
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