How do I overcome the job I lost to care for my parents?

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I left my job to take care of parents.

Iam Indian and I was working in the UAE. when my parents fell ill in India, I left the UAE job and came to India to help my parents.
Iam a pharmacist and I built my career in the UAE and become the registered pharmacist of Dubai and UAE. After becoming the registered pharmacist of UAE, I had a very bright career as the registered pharmacist job is in high demand in UAE.
My 75year father is paralysed person with diabetes and my 65 year old mother is heart disease patient. In september 2011 I came to know about my father's serious condition, which left him bedridden. So suddenly I left UAE and came back to India to help him, without the permission of my employer in UAE. Because the employer was refusing to give eme the permission, so I came to India without permission. The employer lodge a complaint against me in the UAE and I lose my UAE career as Iam blacklisted in the UAE. So now I became unemployed. I became credit card Defaulter and without repayment I cannot return to my Career. But Iam happy that Iam living with my old parents.
My wife is not happy about this and she is accusing me of leaving the whole world for the sake of my parents.
Nooruddin
(Hello@00919704391392)

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Nooruddin, I can understand your strong desire to take care of your parents.
I can understand your employer's need for you to fulfill your contractual obligations.
I can understand your wife's unhappiness at the current state of affairs.

Sigh. While the entire situation is understandable, it is not satisfactory for anyone, except, perhaps your parents. How can it be "fixed" now?

Your mother is only 65. I assume that means her situation could continue for 10 or 20 or even 30 years. With good care, many heart patients can live decades. So, can you remain unemployed for decades? Are your parents wealthy enough to support you and your wife?

If not, can you find work as a pharmacist near where your parents live? Does your wife have a career that she could pursue in your parents' location? Were you planning to start a family? How does that fit in? You cannot put off starting a family for 30 years!

In a way your wife is right. You did leave the whole world for the sake of your parents. In my culture (US) that is generally not viewed as acceptable -- that is such major decisions should be decided upon by husband and wife together, and a person's spouse generally needs to be put ahead of one's parents (while at the same time making reasonable provisions for the parents). It is complicated! I do not know what cultural expectations are in India.

I think your first priority should be to find employment, even if it is not at the highest level you are capable of, and repay your debts. You and your wife need to try to work out some compromises that meet her needs and expectations as well as yours. If it comes down to choosing between your wife and your parents, and you choose your parents, I hope you will not stand in your wife's way to make a new life for herself. Lastly, I think it would be prudent to look into what other kinds of care are available for your parents, in case in several years you again wish to rebuild your career and perhaps move away, with frequent visits home.

My heart goes out to you in this very painful situation. I hope you can work out some solutions that will keep your marriage intact, allow you to honor your parents, and also start working your way back into position to build your career.

Good luck, and please keep us posted.
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