She is able to do everything for herself, except drive, cook while home alone, and shower while alone (she won't shower unless I'm home, in case of a fall or slip). She burned something on the stove three months ago, while I was at work, but has not cooked while alone since then (I turn off the circuit breaker just in case - she's never mentioned that the stove doesn't work) and sometimes forgets my name. Because of this, her doctor says she should be in a nursing home. I don't think she's ready to go into either a nursing home or assisted living. She has trouble getting the right words out, even though she knows what she wants to say. She doesn't fall, and can walk the dog without a problem. Her health is excellent for someone her age. Her bones are like those of a 20-something woman (according to the scan her doctor did four months ago). She has always taken very good care of herself.
I know things will only get worse over time, so I'm considering staying at home, rather than have sitters, at least until I have no other choice but to place her in a nursing home. It would be difficult to pay sitters, anyway, with the money left over after paying taxes on the Aid and Attendance from the VA. It wouldn't be enough to pay the normal rate for 40 hours while I work. If I stay at home, I would still pay taxes, but there would be enough to pay for my health insurance, and my bills. When she goes into a nursing home, her income, plus A&A, would cover her expenses.
I'm not sure what it is you need to know about me, except that I work a dead-end job (PBX operator - these jobs are projected to be obsolete within the next 10 years), and have reached the ceiling of the pay scale. I am paid approximately $1 - $2 more per hour than the sitters would need to be paid. It wouldn't pay for me to work extra hours at a part time job, since the sitters would be making more than me per hour.
I am currently working on a resume to hunt for a better paying job, but the reality is that I don't have very many qualifications for anything that would pay much more than what I have now. Plus, I would have to travel at least 20 miles to another job, and that would mean more expenses - gas, more time for sitters, etc. I am taking a computer course (Java Language) at a local college, but have no degree. Besides all of this, I am weighing the benefits of staying home with her for as long as I have her around, against better pay and having someone else care for her while I'm away and won't have the time to spend with her like I would like to have. Who knows how long she will be here? Will I regret not being here with her more than getting a better job? I realize jobs are hard to get right now, but McDonald's always seems to be hiring - and, yes, I'm willing to work there if I have to! It's not like I have to replace a huge salary. Also, I have ways to earn a little extra from home. I have done crafts and sold them in the past, plus I'm an artist, and am considering what I could do with that, realizing fully that it probably would not be steady income. Any adivice or input would be greatly appreciated!
You've weighed all the pros and cons, plus you have something to fall back on -- arts and crafts, McDonald's (what a nightmare!). Caring for your mother seems a win-win, so I'd go ahead with it. Like you said, "Who knows how long she will be there?" Sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith, and let the chips fall where they may. At least you won't have to spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.
Anyway, it's time for my morning song: "On the Side of Angels" by Leann Rimes. Ever heard it? It's on Youtube.
This is a tough and personal call. The aid and attendance benefit is not a taxable income if used to pay for outside caregivers or assisted living. You can be paid by your mother to provide the care. In this case the payment "may" be taxable income to you. Check with a local accountant for that answer. Best of luck.
It sounds as though you have thought it through and really are looking for support or affirmation from others that staying home is a good idea. You will have to make that decision on your own. Just some food for thought--I work from home and also care for my live-in mother. As much as I love her, this means we are together ALL the time. My advice is if you do decided to stay home that you maintain a personal social life that does not include your mother. Unfortunately I failed to do so! Some personal, private time is absolutely necessary for caregivers.
Thank you all for your suggestions and support! I really appreciate the input. I will carefully weigh all aspects of this situation before making a final decision.
I know things will only get worse over time, so I'm considering staying at home, rather than have sitters, at least until I have no other choice but to place her in a nursing home. It would be difficult to pay sitters, anyway, with the money left over after paying taxes on the Aid and Attendance from the VA. It wouldn't be enough to pay the normal rate for 40 hours while I work. If I stay at home, I would still pay taxes, but there would be enough to pay for my health insurance, and my bills. When she goes into a nursing home, her income, plus A&A, would cover her expenses.
I'm not sure what it is you need to know about me, except that I work a dead-end job (PBX operator - these jobs are projected to be obsolete within the next 10 years), and have reached the ceiling of the pay scale. I am paid approximately $1 - $2 more per hour than the sitters would need to be paid. It wouldn't pay for me to work extra hours at a part time job, since the sitters would be making more than me per hour.
I am currently working on a resume to hunt for a better paying job, but the reality is that I don't have very many qualifications for anything that would pay much more than what I have now. Plus, I would have to travel at least 20 miles to another job, and that would mean more expenses - gas, more time for sitters, etc. I am taking a computer course (Java Language) at a local college, but have no degree. Besides all of this, I am weighing the benefits of staying home with her for as long as I have her around, against better pay and having someone else care for her while I'm away and won't have the time to spend with her like I would like to have. Who knows how long she will be here? Will I regret not being here with her more than getting a better job? I realize jobs are hard to get right now, but McDonald's always seems to be hiring - and, yes, I'm willing to work there if I have to! It's not like I have to replace a huge salary. Also, I have ways to earn a little extra from home. I have done crafts and sold them in the past, plus I'm an artist, and am considering what I could do with that, realizing fully that it probably would not be steady income.
Any adivice or input would be greatly appreciated!
You've weighed all the pros and cons, plus you have something to fall back on -- arts and crafts, McDonald's (what a nightmare!). Caring for your mother seems a win-win, so I'd go ahead with it. Like you said, "Who knows how long she will be there?" Sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith, and let the chips fall where they may. At least you won't have to spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.
Anyway, it's time for my morning song: "On the Side of Angels" by Leann Rimes. Ever heard it? It's on Youtube.
Have a wonderful day Lee, and stay in touch.
-- ED
Best of luck.