I was the sole caretaker for my sister (71) for 10 months, since she began hospice care. She has emphysema, terrible osteoporosis, and dystonia. I did the best I could for that time period, but I'm an older sister (74) and my health was suffering. Still is, actually. I lost 22 pounds involuntarily, and now I'm having medical tests to see why. I put her in a home with four other people, all of whom have dementia, which I think is pretty standard in the smaller homes that are somewhat affordable, at least compared to nursing homes. She is pretty much bedridden, either napping or sitting up watching television. There was no one else to be her caregiver, and she's going downhill, and the hospice nurses told me I would not be able to handle "what's coming" by myself. Now I have visited nearly every day (it's been nearly a month), to give her someone to talk with besides the caregivers. I have an out-of-town day trip tomorrow with friends as a Christmas tradition we've had for years. My sister, when I told her I wouldn't see her tomorrow, told me to think of her in "this place" while I'm out having fun. I get so annoyed, and then start feeling guilty, and I can't stand this!! I don't deserve this; it's something I had to do for my health. It would be lovely to hear from some of you who have overcome guilty feelings and how you did it. I just start thinking that she had to leave her home, her cat, her garden, all her stuff, to live in the one room at the board and care. As we were already roommates, it made caregiving easier when she started with hospice, but because we were roommates, I'm still here with all her stuff, the cat, the garden, and so on. I feel sad that I had to do this, but I don't think there was any choice. Thank you to anyone who replies with something compassionate and sensible. I don't wish to hear from people who will tell me I should have taken care of her until I dropped, after all she's my sister, and so on. You know who you are, so don't write. It won't help me at all.