What questions should I prepare for my mother's nursing home meeting?

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My mother, who is 97, fractured her hip and has been in a rehab/NH for the past 3 weeks. I am out of state, but have visited her there 3 or 4 times. She seems to be doing well in physical therapy with a walker. I have some issues, such as her phone being out of order for about 5 days, her laundry being stuffed in a plastic bag in her closet and not being done, as I had requested. I also put money in her account there for her to get her hair done, but nobody has contacted her. But these are housekeeping problems. The NH doc, with whom I have spoken, seems aloof and arrogant. I was told (by her) that she will not be at this meeting. That seems unusual to me. Should I contact my mother's assigned social worker at the place and let them know what the doc told me? What other questions should I be asking or be prepared to answer? My mom is mentally stable, and will also be at the meeting. She was living at an independent/AL facility prior in the independent part. I am assuming she will need an aide to be with her for a while right after she gets out. Any suggestions for me about what to expect at the meeting would be great. I was told in the "there will be a care meeting" letter that the meeting will be kept to 15 minutes because other residents' meetings are also scheduled for that day. 15 minutes does not seem like much time. Is this the norm?

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I agree that the sooner she leaves this place the better. Is it possible for her to go back to her independent/AL facility with her own aide? You could hire an in-home care agency to take care of her.

This facility doesn't sound acceptable. Yes, do talk with the social worker and tell her what the doctor said. However, he or she will likely be controlled by the need to keep the job.

Personally, I'd check with the home's ombudsman by going online to www.ltcombudsman.org. Type the home's Zip code in the search box. This person is your mother's representative. Tell your contact about the concerns you have for your mother and her care. He or she should be able to guide you.

Good luck,
Carol
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Well it sounds like the sooner you can get her out of there, the better. I'd just be asking about what care she needs when she leaves. And about any changes to her medications. But given the quality of care and interest they've shown in your mom, I'd probably discount their answers anyway. I'd be taking her to her regular doctor ASAP to get his/her input. If your mom is of sound mind, she should also be able to help you with what she'll need.

I've only been to one care meeting for my dad and I wasn't impressed with it either. It probably lasted about 15 minutes. I would guess they have to do them for some government regulation, but they don't care about them that much.
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Thank you, blannie. Actually, this NH is supposed to be the #1 in the area. Hard to believe, eh? You are right....the sooner she's out, the better. I think she will do much better with an individual aide. And, yes, I plan to have her go to her regular doc as soon as I know when she will be released from the NH.

Thanks again for your reply, and good luck to you with your dad at his NH.
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